I lack of emotions, I can't love or feel empathy or sorrow.

[Aaliyah]

Hello I'm a little concerned, it's weird because it's like I don't know how to love or have a heart. I feel cold. I mean I have friends and family but I don't think I can love or care for them. I mean if my mother died I don't think I would even cry. Or if something bad happens, it doesn't really affect me. It's almost like I'm a mindless zombie. It seemed I was able to care more when I was younger. But over the years I just don't seem to show compassion or sorrow. If someone is crying or in pain, I can't feel bad for them. I may pretend to feel bad but I don't have a heart in me. I'm concerned, is this some type of mental disorder??

[Anna.]

Are you taking any prescription meds?

[kevinm]

It's cruel to be callous. Some folks are less emotional than others. Is this bad? I don't think so. However, it's also very possible that your emotions haven't been fully tested either. I am a very controlled person, emotionally speaking. However, after loosing my wife I was a complete and utter mess for a long while. Until then it had been years... probably 15 since I had shed a tear, and I went from that state to crying like a baby.

 

You are a human being, and as such, you are an emotional creature.

 

-Kevin

[Gratuitious_1]

An inability to feel compassion for fellow human beings is indicative of one of several personality disorders. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is one of the more common ones. The answer to your question "do you have a mental disorder" is probably yes. It doesn't mean that you are the only one or that you cannot function in society.

[kevinm]

An inability to feel compassion for fellow human beings is indicative of one of several personality disorders. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is one of the more common ones. The answer to your question "do you have a mental disorder" is probably yes. It doesn't mean that you are the only one or that you cannot function in society.

 

 

Unless you are a qualified professional you should not make this statement.

 

-Kevin

[Aaliyah]

Are you taking any prescription meds?

 

No not currently..

 

It's weird I've felt more pain in a lot of my life than love being shown to me. My father was very critical and verbally abusive. Never showing love in the household. I endured a lot of teasing and bullying in school. I just got out of an abusive relationship with a man that verbally abused me months ago. Oddly I stayed with him a long time regardless of how he treated me. I did have feelings for the guy in a weird way but it was unhealthy.

 

I remember feeling a lot of emptiness and pain when I was young. Over the years it just seems like nothing bothers me anymore. I can see something tragic like a dead body or a car accident and I would just look with a blank expression on my face. It's weird... I think I need some sort of help.

[Aschleigh]

I think people without personality disorders block troubling emotions until they can deal with them. I felt numb for a long time. I was depressed and apathetic. But I grew out of it and I can feel more now than ever. It's a protection against feeling deep, possible harmful emotions. Can you get some counseling or talk to one friend or your mom about this numb feeling.

[kevinm]

It's not weird... but it appears you are trying to define "normal" as one way to be, rather than an acceptable range. What do you expect in a reaction? How do you want to react?

 

Sounds like you have a strong stomach. Maybe you would be a good ER doctor? Those folks have to be extremely tough.

 

-Kevin

[Aaliyah]

It's not weird... but it appears you are trying to define "normal" as one way to be, rather than an acceptable range. What do you expect in a reaction? How do you want to react?

 

My concern is that it doesn't feel normal to not care much about people or life in general. I feel like I should be more warm and loving. I feel cold and heartless and it's not a good feeling.

[Aschleigh]

Then listen to that. Ask someone you trust some questions about emotions . Search within yourself for who or what last made you feel really good or bad. You could be depressed.

Do you exercise , eat well? You were abused as a child, maybe you cut off emotions to not deal with that and now you are more able you can go and feel some of that pain. This is a good sign. You want to feel more, right?

[Shiranai]

I'm just like you.

 

For the longest time I felt no empathy for anyone, and little love for others as well.

 

I didn't cry or feel sad at two of my relatives' funerals, and to this day I still laugh about my classmate that killed himself. If someone dies in front of me, I simply won't care. If my parents pass away, I'll probably first wonder if it'll be a hassle to arrange funerals.

 

Over the years, the people that found out often try to tell me I'm a horrible person, or I really don't know myself, or I have issues. I learned, they're all wrong. I'm just me, and I still want everyone to be happy and prosper, I still go out of my way to help others, I just don't pretend to feel their sufferings.

 

I did realize the main reason I feel so little for other people's pain is because I felt like no one felt my pain when I was abused. Years of burying my emotions and years of fighting to survive taught me to be strong, and view situations with as little emotion as possible.

 

I did notice I became a lot more emotional and cynical after I met my fiance though. He's slowly teaching me to face my emotions. I do have them, I learned to keep them away.

 

I still feel very little empathy for others, but I'm trying to be more normal. A part of me do think it's beneficial to lack empathy though. It's a harsh world, sometimes, that lack of empathy is what allows me to step over others to get what I want.

[Lucy__lou]

This post is a little bit of a me me me post, so feel free to skip it, but just wanted to share something...

 

I did realize the main reason I feel so little for other people's pain is because I felt like no one felt my pain when I was abused.

 

This is an interesting observation. I too have observed this in myself though more mildly. I wasn't abused, but most of the struggles I've been through have been taken on alone and without anyone to help me. And there is a feeling in me that since no one cared for me that I should conserve all my energy for looking out for number myself, and not waste any energy caring for others. I don't relate to the feeling of numbness described by the OP, but I do consider myself more selfish than most, and I do attribute a lot of it to the lack of care with which society has treated me.

 

But then, one fine day at the age of 28, one person helped me. All it took was one kind person who felt for me and wanted to see me succeed. I took his help and took not one tiny bit of it for granted, and used what he gave me to lift myself out of the misery I was in, and I now for the first time have something to be thankful for, and I have the desire to help others, and I care for others because I for the first time feel strong and capable.

[kevinm]

Humans are social creatures, and as such we feel for each other. I wouldn't attribute a persons empathy (or lack thereof) as a conscious or regulated emotional quality. One can be empathetic and be driven to succeed.

 

Shrianai and OP who feel like they are hardasses... you both seem to have a very negative attitude about the world and society in general. Though one may struggle to achieve and succeed in life, your sense of entitlement is mind boggling. No one owes you anything. And the next time you folks think no one cares, I'm all alone, no one does anything for me, etc... just consider that light switch you throw, the water you turn on the tap, the roads you drive on, the keyboard with which you write. We are dependant upon each other every day. Have respect and yes... EMPATHY for others. So if you desire to live in a more caring world the first step is to be aware of the energy you put out in the world, treat others how you want to be treated.

 

-Kevin

[Aaliyah]

 

 

 

This is an interesting observation. I too have observed this in myself though more mildly. I wasn't abused, but most of the struggles I've been through have been taken on alone and without anyone to help me. And there is a feeling in me that since no one cared for me that I should conserve all my energy for looking out for number myself, and not waste any energy caring for others. I don't relate to the feeling of numbness described by the OP, but I do consider myself more selfish than most, and I do attribute a lot of it to the lack of care with which society has treated me.

 

 

 

That paragraph struck something with me because that's exactly how I feel. I can remember so many times people may have treated me horribly or showed little compassion for me while I was down on my luck. It made me feel like no one really cared about me. I think these situations happened so many times where I didn't get any love shown in return that I think it's at a point where I just learned to shut off my feelings altogether.

 

It's interesting, I notice if I get into relationships with a guy, I put my all in it and I become very attached to the guy, almost smothering him. Calling a little too much. Constantly worrying if they'll leave me and having paranoid thoughts when they don't answer the phone. I can have feelings for guys like maybe a crush but it seems more like an attachment or obsession. It's more like I need them than actually care for them or love them. Like the last guy I was with. He was verbally abusive, calling me names, cheating on me and yet I still stayed because my attachment and obsession with this guy became so strong that I didn't care how bad he treated me, as long as he stayed by my side. To make it so pathetic, he was the one who eventually left me and cut me dry. Shooting my self esteem into the ground. I was so frantic that I kept calling him and calling him on impulse begging him to take me back. He actually had to call the police on me to get me to stop calling.

 

So I am really mixed up... I'm not well. I love differently and it's very unhealthy..

[akazie]

You might like to do a search on PTSD, do you startle easy?

[Aaliyah]

You might like to do a search on PTSD, do you startle easy?

 

Not really, though I can get very nervous & edgy in social situations. It's not all of the time. I'm also a little paranoid, constantly looking around to see if someone is watching or talking about me.Sometimes it's hard to talk to people because I can't look them in the eye sometimes. I've always done that but it has worsened as I got older.

 

The thing is I can feel pain and hurt a lot more than I can for showing love and compassion towards other people. My feelings aren't necessarily numb, I just can't find it in me to care about other people or to love anymore. I can watch & hear tragic stories on the news and most people would be saddened seeing someone killed or some tragedy, but I just sit there and watch with a blank feeling or expression in my face.

 

I don't know.. maybe I'm making something out of nothing.

[akazie]

You should go and see a doctor, you sound alot like me. PM me if you want someone to talk to who understands what you are going though

[Shiranai]

Don't even give me that bull s--- unless if you've been beaten and assaulted as a child for 14+ years, with no one to help you, and teachers abandoning you, asking for help but no one answers.

 

I don't have a sense of entitlement, nor do I expect anyone to care for me or feel sorry for me. I work for what I have, and pick and choose which people I'll bother caring for or spending time with.

 

The rest of the world are not my problem, and there's absolutely no reason why I should care about those I'll never meet or never know.

 

Far from what your negative mind assumes, I do not think I'm a "hardass". I am weak, and thereforeee I have to protect myself from the likes of you who enjoy nothing but hurting others.

[girl friend]

Hello I'm a little concerned, it's weird because it's like I don't know how to love or have a heart. I feel cold. I mean I have friends and family but I don't think I can love or care for them. I mean if my mother died I don't think I would even cry. Or if something bad happens, it doesn't really affect me. It's almost like I'm a mindless zombie. It seemed I was able to care more when I was younger. But over the years I just don't seem to show compassion or sorrow. If someone is crying or in pain, I can't feel bad for them. I may pretend to feel bad but I don't have a heart in me. I'm concerned, is this some type of mental disorder??

 

A quick answer is, yes, there is a disorder which would make sense which i would have assumed you had, had i not read the rest of your posts on this thread. A psychopathic personality type (i know that term is often thrown around as an insult, but seriously it is a very real disorder) finds it impossible to express emotion, or to care for other people as anything other than providers.

 

However you also said:

 

No not currently..

 

It's weird I've felt more pain in a lot of my life than love being shown to me. My father was very critical and verbally abusive. Never showing love in the household. I endured a lot of teasing and bullying in school. I just got out of an abusive relationship with a man that verbally abused me months ago. Oddly I stayed with him a long time regardless of how he treated me. I did have feelings for the guy in a weird way but it was unhealthy.

 

I remember feeling a lot of emptiness and pain when I was young. Over the years it just seems like nothing bothers me anymore. I can see something tragic like a dead body or a car accident and I would just look with a blank expression on my face. It's weird... I think I need some sort of help.

 

This made me think that it isn't an inbuilt disorder in you, but more a reactive coping mechanism to the world. Afterall, you appear anxious as to whether or not you have a disorder, and also anxious about not feeling emotion. It sounds like you would like to. These are not common traits of psychopathy.

 

Perhaps the pain that you felt during early and most vulnerable years simply caused you to build up a protective wall against the world. And hey, it worked, it protected you and helped you to survive a horrific time. Although you should have been counselled or given some support.

 

But now, you don't need to cope in this way. You can let yourself go. You can break down the wall and give yourself the privledge of being loved by other people. And your love and emotions for them will slowly come back with time. You don't need to shut yourself off from the world emotionally anymore. You're gonna be ok.

 

Whichever of my responses you agree the most with, i recommend you see a therapist either way. It sounds to me like you need to explore your past in some depth and these feelings, because either way, its making you worry.

 

Good luck ok hon,

girl friend

[angelsoft]

I'm going through the same thing. Anxiety and depression can cause our feelings to become "numb". I'm struggling with that myself. My doctor put me on 40 mg of Celexa yesterday.

 

It's hard to say whether or not you have a mental disorder. I know that a lot of people suffer from them (which doesn't mean their crazy), but let it go untreated. If depression goes untreated it can cause health problems down the line. It can cause hypertension (heart disease), stroke, heart attacks, etc.

 

If you think you're depressed or have a mental disorder, than 9 times out of 10, there probably is something wrong with you. I'm not a doctor myself, so I can't say for sure if there actually is something wrong with you. I strongly suggest you seek an evaluation from a psychiatrist. Not a doctor or psychologist, but a psychiatrist. Psych doctors are the ones who went to school for years and have a lot of experience with mental disorders. They also prescribe medication for depression.

 

Depression is a treatable disease and shouldn't be taken lightly. Like I said it can cause problems down the line if it goes untreated.

[rolfen]

Hello I'm a little concerned, it's weird because it's like I don't know how to love or have a heart. I feel cold. I mean I have friends and family but I don't think I can love or care for them. I mean if my mother died I don't think I would even cry. Or if something bad happens, it doesn't really affect me. It's almost like I'm a mindless zombie. It seemed I was able to care more when I was younger. But over the years I just don't seem to show compassion or sorrow. If someone is crying or in pain, I can't feel bad for them. I may pretend to feel bad but I don't have a heart in me. I'm concerned, is this some type of mental disorder??

 

Maybe you're just blocking your emotions, like me. I was going out with a girl for 1 month. I never thought i felt anything for her, i thought i would be over her in 1 day... When she left me (because i took her for granted)... I went crazy and it took about 3 weeks for my emotions to subseed... I cried... lost sleep...

I dont "feel" anything for my parents too, and often i wonder how i would react if they die. Now i think if my fathe die... all the repressed emotions will come out, but he will not be here to receive them... and it will be very painful...

Hope that helps...

[just M.E.]

I think this would be worth talking to a therapist about. It would be easy to lean to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder but one of the most important symptoms of that is not believing they have a problem.

 

Just the fact that you are concerned about your emotions seems to rule that out, but I am just guessing. It might be you are blocking and it might help to take a look at why.

[Seraphim]

It sounds like you are very severely depressed and I agree it needs treatment. When you withdrawl from normal human social functioning, something is very wrong.

[Daxis]

I think I know what the problem is. It's a human defense mechanism. If someone undergoes a traumatic experience, such as your verbally abusive dad and boyfriend, they shut down their emotions because it overwhelms them. Instead of getting rid of what is causing the pain, the mind just shuts down the ability to feel pain. The mind is basically numbing the pain but not getting rid of it. I know this may sound weird, but I think you should watch the movie 'Good Will Hunting'. One of the scenes where Will is at the therapist, the therapist helps him confront the pain and overcome it. It all may sound kind of weird but I think it is worth some thought. And I really think that the movie will help. Just give it a try. If you really want to overcome this spending 2 hours on the movie might not be that bad. And remember "You are Not alone"

[Sky-Cherries]

Go get tested for a personality disorder.

 

You could, like me, be a sociopath.

 

Incidence of reoccuring traits in subject

Disorder | Rating

Paranoid: High

Schizoid: High

Schizotypal: Very High

Antisocial: High

Borderline: Very High

Histrionic: High

Narcissistic: Very High

Avoidant: Very High

Dependent: High

Obsessive-Compulsive: High

 

Ohhh yeahhh