Need to Lower my sex drive...HELP!

[WomackC706]

Hi, all! I am completely in love with my boyfriend, but I have a HUGE sex drive. He says that his is as big as mine, but we aren't married and he is worried that I may get pregnant. He said that it will be easier after we get married. Although he thinks that, I am not quite sure if it is true or not. Do you think so? How can I lower my sex drive? I always feel like I am the one that is asking for sex and I always feel bad because I think that I am pressuring him to do it. He says that he never has sex with me when he doesn't want to, which is a good thing. I want to lower my sex drive so it won't be a problem for us anymore.. PLEASE HELP! ! !

[CamaroJoe]

I'm not sure this will work, but you can try pleasing yourself w/toys or something when he's not around. It probably won't lower your sex drive but it may help satisfy the urges a little. Hope this helps...

[Gilgamesh]

have you tried a cold shower? just kidding.

 

Why the sex diet? do it all you can, more the better, im not joking here. wahts the difference if its 2 times a week or 20? there is always a risk, so just lower the risks of pregnancy some other way.

 

If he wants it and you do to, then go for it, dont hold back, no need to.

 

Dont try and repress your natural desires. satisfy them.

 

and when you cant get together, do like camaroJoe said, get yourself a toy. and plenty of batteries.

 

Sounds like your future hubby is going to be one happy man!!

[bryan]

 

Sounds like your future hubby is going to be one happy man!!

 

WERD

 

8)

[lunatic]

Damn girl don't do anything at all to yourself. God I wish I could have met you. Just be yoursef and if he is not into doing it then maybe you should do some self exploration (if you know what I mean )

 

That guy is really lucky and he has no idea how lucky he is.

 

Hubman

[WomackC706]

Thanks Guys!

I have tried the "self exploration" deal and I personally just don't care for it. As far as being protected from getting pregnant, I am on birth control, we use only spermicidal condoms, and I uses a woman's spermicide, also. I think that we have the bases covered, but sometimes we forget all of them. So, what else do ya'll think would help? I mean, I could just not ask at all or just let him ask me all the time. So ya'll think that after we get married that it will be better?

 

Thanks,

Constance

[Gilgamesh]

Well when you forget to take those other precautions, reach for the condoms.

 

If he is like me, he may not care for those things too much, but there are some condoms that are different. the easiest to find is Trojan Supra, these are micro thin polyurathane condoms, (not latex) they transfer body heat, and are very thin. the other is Enspiral, very baggy at the end where it counts, with a spral end, which slides back and forth.

 

So next time you get the erge, just go for it, and dont worry about it, use your birth control and all that, but if you forget, always have a package of those condoms in your purse for "emergencies"...

 

What make being married better, is that you will be more available to each other, so anytime you get hot, he can cool you down.

[WomackC706]

Thanks, Gilgamesh. We always use condoms no matter what, but the other two things are sometimes forgotten.

 

Thanks....

 

I will try those kinds of condoms...

 

Constance

[Derek]

curious problem that alot of people would love to have...

 

 

 

It makes sense that he's nervous about pregnancy if ya get your freak on all the time.

 

But there is alot more to making love than "intercourse" per se. Alot more things can happen. What about massages and showers and baths together.

Dinners and dancing can be "sexual" too, especially if dinner is all over each others bodies. Would that kind of thing be satisfactory for you?

 

People mentioned toys and oral and other things as well.

 

Seems to me all those things would be fine substitutes to keep you and he warmed up without pregnancy concerns. Perhaps he needs to be revved up more as well and these other "foreplay" things would help.

The point of making love doesn't have to always be orgasm.

 

Also there is something called "outercourse" which may be of interest...

Some people like it better.

 

Google it.

 

 

[WomackC706]

Well, we take many procautions to ensure that I won't get pregnant (3 different kinds and @ least a condom every time). I realize that everything doesn't have to revolve around 'intercourse'. That isn't the point. I don't want to make love 24/7 or every time I see him or anything like that. I also know that orgasm isn't always the 'purpose' or 'goal' for love making. I know that that is what it is -- love making. THat is what I want it to be every time. I think that I am perfectly aware of that. I am aware that there are three levels of sex:

1. ***ing--The one night stand or mistake or whatever where it means

nothing to either party.

2. Having Sex-Period--The casual contact between two people with a slim

chance of it amounting to anything long-term.

3. Love Making--A relationship that has been founded and concreted with

love then maturing into a sexual relationship, with the intent for

long term.

I know that my boyfriend and I experience the #3 choice of sex. I know that I love him and he loves me. I mean, hell, we are engaged.

I just feel that my sex drive is something that I need to control, but he thinks that there is nothing wrong with me. I beg to differ with him. We have gone weeks (and I don't mean like 2 or 3, I mean 5 or 6) without making love at all! With only 'I love yous', massages, etc.! That was fine! It was romantic and sexy and enjoyable and everything, but by the 3rd week of 5 or 6 weeks we were ready to make love to each other.

 

You see, Making love isn't something that either one of us take lightly. It is very emotional and bonding and binding and loving. We make love and tell each other how good it feels and tell each other how much we love each other and how we are happy that we have found the person that we want to make love to for the rest of our lives. It is more than making love. It is a time for us to be alone and share parts of ourselves that no one will ever get to see or anything. It is very special to us, as making love (or sex in general) should be to all people.

 

So, now what do you guys think? What would help lower my sex drive? Or do you even think anything is wrong or abnormal about me at all?

 

Thanks,

~Constance~

[Gilgamesh]

Now your talking my language.

 

Making love is just that, its sex with love. and I always believed in quality rather than quantity.

 

Id prefer to make love 2-4 times a week, than to have "just sex" everyday.

 

But, I still dont think your over sexed, and you should follow your desires and not repress anything. dont hold back.

 

He is happy the way you are, you enjoy it also, so why make "rules" and "restrictions" there is just no need!.

 

And i think you overkilling it with the birthcontrol. 3 methods? hehe, with my Ex, we used only the rythem method, and never had any accidents, only used condoms when she was ovulating/fertile. but she was very sensitive and "knew" when it was time.

[WomackC706]

Thanks.

I do believe in the quality v. quantity thing also. But as far as that goes. The longest we have ever made love is about 20 minutes (not including foreplay), but the average time is about 10 minutes, I guess. He is also worried about that. He wants to try stuff to make him last longer. So, what are your input on that?

 

Also, I don't want to risk anything with the method that you suggested. I have a very very very irregular 'cycle' so there really is NO telling when I am likely to get pregnant. I do think that, even when we just use a condom, that I am very unlikely to get pregnant. So, I don't worry about it... well, only when he brings it up first.

 

So, any other suggestions I should know?

 

Thanks...

Ya'll are the best.

,

Constance

[Gilgamesh]

I don't recommend the rhythm cycle birth control method, just mentioned that because thats what I used, It was OK with us because we liked our sex spontaneous and not have to worry about those things.

 

As for him lasting longer, well 10-20 sounds normal to me (without foreplay) whatever you do, don't get him to worry about this, Performance anxiety is a killer in the bedroom. If you were saying he only lasted 5 min or never orgasmed, then thats a different story.

[WomackC706]

I am perfectly fine with the 10-20 minutes and then usually doing that two or three times when we make love in one night. He just doesn't. I was the first person that he has ever had sex with and he thinks that I just won't tell him if I have a problem or am not satisfied. And it isn't that he doesn't make me 'cum' ever... I mean, really, I do sometimes....

He just thinks that he isn't doing a good job until he has accomplished my orgasm.

[Gilgamesh]

Sounds like he has a little bit of an insecurity problem. but he sounds like he is doing great. he just not sure.

 

yeah guys often think its about the "O" its hard for him to understand that it can be enjoyable to you even if you dont have an orgasm every single time. he feels he is a failure or something.