how can i live with a broken heart

[thatboy_e]

two weeks ago my girlfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me, but got back together 2 days later because i begged her to. now we broke up again and this time i know it is final. after the first break up, i was trying so hard to stay with her, even though she wasn't trying. she rarely called, and she wouldn't even be with me on the weekends. she wanted to always be with her friends. i finally had enough and told her i don't think we should try anymore. it just slipped out, but she agreed. she told me that she wasn't in love with me anymore and she wanted to be independent and have no boyfriend. now i am living with a broken heart not knowing what to do. i keep reliving all of the times that i treated her bad, and find it hard to forgive myself for the ways i treated her. i loved this girl with my heart and soul and now i feel like i have nothing to love. i want to call her so bad and tell her to come back. i just want to hear her voice and tell her i love her, but i know i can't. i feel like i am dying of a broken heart. i never thougt in a million years that we would no longer be together. i am having a very hard time dealing with this and i don't know if my heart will ever heal.

[enadevoli]

it might take time, but your heart will heal. its hard for any one to get over something like this. i think that you should try to keep yourself busy. like find things to do to keep your mind busy & off of her. its only going to be harder if you continue to think about all that. don't be upset with yourself for the things that happened during the relationship. we all make mistakes & we learn from them. don't regret it because it is the past & you can't go back. it might help to write in a journal, or talk to someone too. you will get over this, its just a matter of time.

[akatoro]

Hullo, Thatboy_e.

 

I feel sorry about you and your girlfriend.

Me and my girlfriend of 11months broke up three weeks ago and I've been crying each day since. We talked yesterday and we were able to joke and laugh with eachother going through what we've lived for the past weeks.

 

Is there no chance that you two can still be friends? Just take some time off, do not contact her for a week. Stay alone or with friends that you can speak to. I pondered on and off about my own subject.. And I've come to a conclusion that feels very good now. The important thing is that you give it some time off for now. Then you can contact her. If she wants to talk, then talk and be honest. However, try not to ask her to get back together again. I feel that might drive her further away.

Me and my gf have known each other for 14months all in all.. And you've been together for over two years. If you decide on staying friends... You'll have the best friend you'll ever find. All that you have been through.. being able to relax and just talk about everything with.

I really think that it is going to be worth it in the end.. Hurt will come if you do this.. But hurt and sadness will come either way sooner or later, and when that does happen, you can talk about it together. It takes time, it shouldn't be over in two weeks..

 

I hope that you can come up with a suitable solution, pal.

It will feel hard to even consider being friends.. I know this first hand. But think about the future.

[elbandido]

Look, I won't lie to you, it's going to be very hard to keep your head up. This year my girlfriend of five years and I broke up. We lived together and shared everything. Now I feel like a part of me is missing. It was hard for me the first few months, but I pulled through. I know it seems right now that there's nothing you can do to take your mind off of her, but you must find something to occupy yourself with. What helped me was working out. I joined a gym and went there alost everyday for a few months. I lost several pounds and looked better than I had in years. It made me feel better too. I would be so tired that I would get home and wouldn't have time to think about her before I fell asleep. If that's not your thing then there are other things you can do, but I highly suggest you give exercise a try; it's good for your body and your mind.

As far as begging her to comeback – don't do it again. Girls do not like that and it will push them away even more. As far as calling her to hear her voice – don't! The best thing you can do is leave her alone. I know it's hard. Believe me, I know, but you have to be fair to yourself. The more you see her, the more you talk to her, the harder it's going to be to get on with your life. Not only that, but remember that saying "absense makes the heart grow fonder". Try this: start working out. Get yourself in shape (not saying you're not, but everyone can stand to use some exercise), start dating other people, do whatever it takes (within safe parameters) to keep yourself occupied. As for not hearing from her again, I doubt it. I mean I think if you didn't sweat her and didn't call her, she will start wondering what's going on. She will feel like she doesn't have control anymore. She will start to feel that loneliness also and when she does, she will end up calling you; but if she does call you, don't start crying, begging or saying you miss her. Just act like it doesn't phase you. Act confident (even though inside u may want to tell her u love her). Listen to what she has to say, tell her you are doing well, but don't hint that u r hurting. This will get her mind thinking and she will start wondering what's going on. If she doesn't call you ever again, then she wasn't worth your time or heart and just shake yourself off, cut your losses and move on. I know, easier said than done. Look, yours isn't the first heart to be broken and it won't be the last. You just have to be strong and independent. Never rely so much on another person for your happiness (that's the mistake I made). You will get through this. Your heart will heal and eventually you will be happy again. Pray, ask the Lord for strength, but do things to help yourself find strength because remember: God helps those who help themselves. Good luck to you.

[thatboy_e]

thanks so much for everyone's advice. it is just so hard to move on. i am graduating college in 4 weeks and am moving to a different city. it is very hard to go through this during the holiday season, especially when we had plans together. i just bought the engagement ring recently and was planning on popping the question on Christmas. its so hard to see your hopes and dreams pass in front of your eyes.

[EmptySoul]

hello. you said you felt bad for the ways you treated her and you want to tell her you love her. write a letter, get it all out, eveything that you want to say. read it see how it sounds. maybe give it to her? try to understand how she feels. "time heals all wounds" (really it does) but you have to try to help yourself too.

EmptySoul