Jump to content

shes off to uni and i feel insecure for no actual reason


Recommended Posts

Dear all.


Firstly, to thank those who replied in my last few weeks of need. Things are going well after we got back together, but I can see trouble on the horizon.



For those who don't remember my situation (that probably most of you  ) I am back with my ex (bad idea already) for almost a year now. Maybe I feel insecure cos we broke of last time and she ended up with my mate. But the point to myself is that she came back to ME


However, my problems are these.


Firstly, I feel I require constant communication, well, maybe not. I just like to hear from her. Sometimes it feels like I have to put the effort in bute will just live her life and I will pop into it when she wants me to.


I am not convinced this is the case. I KNOW loves me and things she does prove it. But still I cannot shake these insecurities


My main problem is that she is off to university in a year. She has gone away this weekend to stay up there to check the place out.


I am in a bad state. I KNOW she will not do anything, but I feel hurt as I have not heard from her very much and I KNOW she is busy but I keep thinking that she is just having a great time and forgetting about me. While I know this is not true, I Cannot stop myself feeling like this.



I know this girl loves me to bits. Why do I feel like this. I will contradict myself now, but I trust her yet I can't help thinking what might happen. Or more so not what might happen but just the fact that I don't hear from her and when I do she has to cut me short as she is going out and has to leave.


This kind of thing is bugging me as it seems one minute she loves me the next minute she can cast me aside to go out. But I know she has her own life.


People, I know this is MY problem, but I really can't deal with it at all. I know we will be together, but I doubt her all the time and I have no reason to. I cant stop it. I know I am pushing her away, something I said I would never do again.


I have a real bad problem.


If this is how I cope with one weekend together, how will I cope with three years apart?

Link to comment

Trust is a big part of a relationship. When my ex went to uni Im sre it changed her. If I were you I would keep up the contact with her not waiting for her to do it. There is always give and take in a relationship and its never balanced, just let her know you support her and be faithful she will find HERSELF at university and sometimes it changes people, just be there for her.

Link to comment

thanks for your reply. to behonest, thats perhaps wht scanres me is that she willdiscover a new life ( i know one exist, i found it myself when i went)


i am worried she will find it more convenient if she finds someone there and the main thing i am worried for i myself. I an unsure. as to put myself in the position of being hurt. However, that is a bridge i must cross.


A part of me wants to ask her for marriage before she leaves.


i want it, but i knwo its too soon and i fear i would be asking for it as more of a "contract" to me .how sad is that of me!


Anyway, once more, thanks for your reply



Link to comment

Just be the best you can be, if she finds somene else then she is not for you maybe, there are two sides to every relationship remember. Its your job to do what you can, thats what she sees in you. If your worth staying with she`ll only see YOU all through her time at uni and forget about the other guys who she may get attracted too. The reason why my gf left me is because I never paid enough attention to myself not just to her! Sounds strange but is true. I hope it all works out for you.

Oh yeh and if you want to ask her to marry you GO FOR IT, I wish I had the chance!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck my friend.

Link to comment

Many thanks once more for your reply.


She is away at the moemnt and in my slightly alcoholic state i can see whe loves me. I wan to to spend the rest of my life with his girl, but she has her own life, she needs to better herself. I cannot hold herback, onyl support her as she moves forward.



This is the girl for me. This is the girl i love. I just wish that i could stop feeling like i feel whe i feel i dont trust her



Link to comment

I really hope everything works out for you. Going to university is not just an education but a life changing experience, I hope your girlfriend comes out of it with you as you sound very sincere. Hey, maybe one day while shes at uni send her a big bunch of flowers or a big teddy bear to let her know how much u love her. Keep her guessing and she`ll always be there. Oh yeh and dont drink too much otherwise you may do something you`ll regret. If you need me just give us a shout. Im here.

Link to comment

If I was in your position I would consider myself the luckiest man alive, dont waste the oppportunity to be happy for yourself and for her. Id live on the street just to get my ex back, just for one more kiss or for her to say she needs me. Carpe Diem.

Link to comment

I agree with a lot with what Gaz has posted. Trust her when she goes to college, support her and communicate with her while she's there. I'm in college right now and a lot is gonna be happening, she'll probably be going to events, functions and parties. She loves you and wants to be with you. If you want to marry her, ask her before she leaves. I asked my gf before I left for college. Good luck to you and everything will be fine



Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...