taking things slow.....

[koreangelxp]

well here is my story... my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me... 6 days before xmas... he told me he still loved me but he wasn't "in love" with me anymore...then the next day he text me and we ended up talking and we agreed to take things slow and see if his feelings would come back.

 

we talk everyday, I don't call him he calls me... and things are going okay... I just needed some advice on some things.... when you fall out of love with someone can they ever get the feelings back? and what can I do to help get the feelings back.... thanks in advance to everyone...

[Russ]

What you can do is find out the reason he fell out of love with you.

 

And then figure out if it's something worth changing.

[Sn0man]

If I recall you posted somthing similar the otehr day. What struck me was that you mentioned he felt like he was walking on eggshells all the time. Now you said yourself you tend to get a little jealous, and mentioned a couple of things in your post that made me ask you if you were the jealous type to begin with.

 

I doubt very much he fell out of love with you - it's more likely he felt he could't make you happy - or otherwise that he wasn't trusted. Lack of trust in any relationship is an instant deal breaker.

 

If you want this guy back you're going to have to loosen up on how you percieve his outside life - as in stop making him feel untrustworthy.

 

I could be way off but I have a sneaking suspicion im not.

[random_stranger]

Well, understand that you can't change anything he feels. Why should you change yourself just so that another person would like you?

 

When you fall out of love with someone, it is possible to regain feelings, but it really depends on the whole situation. I don't think we can give you a good answer until you tell us why he fell out of love with you to begin with.

 

Whatever the reason though, if you two haven't resolved it yet, it's highly unlikely the relationship will last. If the problem doesn't directly affect you now, it will probably lead to other problems in the future.

[vasilias]

Other than where two people grow bitter towards each other for what ever reason, relationships that end beacuse someone has fallen out of love... i think has more to do with a variable factor in that relationship that made the person unhappy and that overides the love. If that can be fixed it will let the love breath again... unless something else in the meantime comes along and overides that love for something else (new romanaces etc).

 

Some years ago I began hanging out with an ex. Hadnt been a long relationship at the time but ended a bit messy and we didnt see each other for two years. in that time we healed, any emotions of love, hurt or lust were long behind us. We bumped in to each other and decided to go for a drink... realised we still got on well and began hanging out as friends. Over a period of time, having spent alot of time with them at one point i found myself developing feelings for them again. What ever was there in the first place was still there two years later... we got on great... but the problems were still the same and so we just didnt go there.