My Girlfriend and I

[Russ]

Thing is, I can talk about any other aspect of life to my friends but my love life. They're simply not the types to understand the problems, and if I try to talk to one of my female friends, the usual advice I get is "dump her", or something equally stupid. So I'm starting a journal on the forum, to vent.

 

On that happy note, I found out yesterday that my girlfriend's best friend was apparently dating one of my friends just to get to me. How completely screwed up is that? She was trying to steal a guy from her own best friend? Pretty sick, if you ask me.

 

Anyways, my girlfriend hasn't talked to me in a day now, even though this is no fault of my own. I tried to talk to her yesterday, but she was being pretty cold. Basically, we just confirmed our date, I tried asking her whats wrong a few times, and left it at that. I never led her friend on, etc. Showed pure friendship interests, since its always nice to have your girl's best friend on your side.

 

So that's where I'm stuck at. I've got a date with my girl today. I don't understand why she didn't just cancel it if she was mad, but she was being damn icy yesterday.

[Russ]

Well, the date went well. I figured out she's having some problems with friends at school. She's in a very superficial circle of friends, and what a surprise, she's unhappy with it. Ofcourse, I tried my best to support her, and we ended up on my bed talking, as opposed to doing anything else, for the first time ever.

 

Anyways, I'm starting to think that I'm a little oversensitive to signs. I mean, yesterday went well, etc, we separated with good intentions. The entire day today, I've been thinking about how she's starting to drift apart from me. She is mildly bipolar, so it could just be a mood swing, but Im starting to feel like she's taking me for granted, and I see no reason to stick with her if that's the case.

 

Also, since she is having troubles with friends at the moment, and is in the bad part of her bipolar cycle, I dont think it would be the best idea for me to leave her at this moment. She could do something dumb.

 

My plan of action is to hang back for a week or two, and see if anything changes. If I still get this vibe, I'll have a talk with her, letting all this out in the open. If nothing changes after that, as much as it does hurt to think about it, I'm going to have to leave her.

[Russ]

Well, the talk came sooner than later. I was out drinking last night, and she called, and this morning i called her back to ask her what I said last night, and she said "you mentioned something about a talk". I care about her too much. I'm drinking with friends, and she's still on my damn mind.

 

Anyways, so I elaborated that its something to be done in person, and not to worry, it's nothing too bad. In her defense, Im guessing it wasnt the best timing since she had work coming up, and we didnt finish talking, and I guess it was bothering her for the 9 hour shift.

 

Anyways, tonight, after her shift, she wanted to know everything right then. I tried to say its better done in person, but that didn't convince her. Anyways, I gathered my thoughts, and called her. We talked. I knew it would be pointless, but... it's different. Its not like I thought it was. Thinking about it now, I can't even explain it. I do love her. I found out today that her last boyfriend did hurt her when he left her. I mean, I knew about him, but never too much detail. She loved him and when he left, guess it left a wound. So she told me it'll take her "a while to give [me] her heart completely, to love [me]", etc.

 

I told her I'm not in a rush. And it's true, Im not. After all, if it does work out, it'll be worth it in the long run. If it doesn't, I've got another 9 months until university anyway.

 

So... I dont know where Im at now. Im happy again. I'll give her the space. She can call when she wants to talk. Im going to stop caring about it.