TAB1234 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Hi, hope everyone is ok. These forums are understandably mainly from the viewpoint of the dumpee asking for advice etc...Just wondered whether anyone had advice for a dumper who felt guilty for dumpping someone in a hissy fit in the middle of a row and then a few days later felt guilty and thought that it may have been the wrong thing to do but any attempt to contact the dumpee has just (understandably) has been met with anger. How does one deal with the guilt with hurting someone that they cared about and also getting over the fact that if one hadn't had said those things they could still be with that person? Link to comment
Gratsy Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 You can try your best to apologize and ask for them back I.E BIG from sex and the city...but really, its ultimately up to them. You won't be able to move on until you're ready. Link to comment
catwalk Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 give them time to cool down.... not sure what time frame to give you but at least a week or so. If you text/email them, keep it short (like: "very sorry, ttys I hope") then when you do talk, don't be on emotional high alert & try to have the conversation in a neutral setting, not at either of your houses. whatever you do, do NOT bring up the topic that started this in the first place..... state that you over reacted and feel silly and horrible for doing that to them and feel awful that you might have ruined a great relationship that you really never wanted to lose. Say you made a mistake and it won't happen again and that you are hoping they will forgive you and you will try to be the bestest S/O EVER. look into their eyes, gauge reaction & proceed from there. good luck! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Ok, tell us more about how it might be like in her shoes right now. How do you think she felt, is feeling, and what may some of her anger be coming from? Her doubts at letting you back in? Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I think you should give them a day or two to calm down from what happened, and send them a genuine letter saying how you feel, and how you didn't mean those things you said. Ask them for another chance. And then the ball is in their court.. Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 The thing is, something bothered you enough to have the hissy fit. Chances are, if you get back together, it'll happen again. Not only will it happen again, but you might bstart keeping how you feel to yourself so as not to lose him again. What are the chances that what was bothering you about him will actually change? If chances seem good that he can change his behavior, then you can try pursuing it. If it's been a pattern with him, then it's probably best to let it end. Are you missing what you had recently with him or are you missing what you had in the beginning? Also are you missing what you thought the potential of the relationship with him could be? Make sure you're really missing him and not these things. Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 The thing is, something bothered you enough to have the hissy fit. Chances are, if you get back together, it'll happen again. Not only will it happen again, but you might bstart keeping how you feel to yourself so as not to lose him again. What are the chances that what was bothering you about him will actually change? If chances seem good that he can change his behavior, then you can try pursuing it. If it's been a pattern with him, then it's probably best to let it end. Are you missing what you had recently with him or are you missing what you had in the beginning? Also are you missing what you thought the potential of the relationship with him could be? Make sure you're really missing him and not these things. Thanks for that Toshiba but i'm the "he" and my ex is the "she" Everything was going swimmingly until the fall-out which was out of the blue and a silly meaningless argument. things were said. next day i asked to speak to her and said that even if we're upset we still must try not to resort to name-calling but then we fell back into our initial argument. This was followed by one week of no contact from her side, well i got reply to texts but she never once asked me how i was and also said she wasn't well and couldnt even speak to me on the phone for 2 mins. This is when i had the hissy fit and sent the text. I rang to apologise the next day but she asked me never to contact her again and just thinks i'm playing games. There was no trust I'm missing the potential of the r'ship but also more importantly whats irritating me is that as i said she thinks i'm playing games but i did (not sure whether i do now as much) genuinely cared for her and wanted to be with her. She got me all wrong. Anyway i'm a lot better than i was last week so won't try and over-analyse it too much otherwise will go nowhere. I'll deal with it. Just like to thank everyone on these forums. It puts your faith back in humanity Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Sorry about the gender mix-up. Well, if there was no trust, then better that it ended. It doesn't mean that it's something that you did. It could be that SHE has trust issues. Link to comment
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