What makes a man physically attractive?

[wayworndude]

I was walking down the street the other day with a group of my friends and one of my gay friends bumps into his crush. They talk for a bit and he leaves, after which all my friends, straight and gay, start talking about how handsome he was and such. I was surprised because...I just didn't see it. I'm not gay so admittedly I've never had any sort of 'feelings' for any man to back it up but I'd always thought I had a pretty good idea of what made a guy physically attractive. We started talking about other guys we thought were good looking and a lot of the time my ideas and their ideas simply didn't match up. That experience has really thrown my perception of what makes guys physically attractive into doubt, which in turn threw my perception of me into doubt, because I'm egotistical like that

 

I've never really had a sense of style when it comes to pulling off a look or whatever. I never really know if a particular look 'works' for me or not and very often my style choices are pulled into question by my friends

 

So this all in turn leads me to question how I look, so I took some pictures. I've seen a few of these types of topics before so I presume it's allowed; my apologies if it isn't. I'm not fishing for compliments with this; I accepted a while ago I'm not a good looking guy. I don't dislike the way I look, I just don't consider myself attractive.

Rather I'm wondering, short of plastic surgery which I won't do, what can I do to enhance what I have? Like say when taking a pic for some social networking site, would it be good to use this pic? Or just walking down the street, what can I do/change? Hair? Eyebrows? Shave? Skin? Smile? Glasses/contacts? I'm not usually so neurotic over the way I look but a lack of any female attention for a while probably hasn't helped matters

 

Anyway....thanks in advance for any advice.

[la reina]

First of all, a smile is ALWAYS attractive. Besides that, I think you look good. You don't need to change anything. Just be comfortable with yourself and confident and with your looks and attitude, that's about as hot as you can get

[sandyv]

Its not just a smile to me, there is something there which you cannot pinpoint... I saw it awhile back, instant click! Its all primal in my opinion.

 

It just isn't something you'll be able to explain, I still can't.....

[Entomon]

Physically, I think you're a very attractive guy from what I can see in your picture. However, you have a serious look that comes accross as telling people to "go away".

 

Do you have a nice smile? Even if you're not attractive, smiling can give you an instant new face lift. And also a nice smile can really draw people to you because you personify friendliness and are inviting/approachable.

[wayworndude]

Eh heh, well I usually am very self-conscious when it comes to smiling for photos. I used to have pretty bad teeth; braces fixed that up but I still have a bit of an overbite (underbite? I'm not sure, the one where the lower jaw is further back) It's nothing huge but because it's further back it can sometimes make it look like I have multiple chins when I smile or something So being self-conscious I try not to do that. I do smile a lot in real life though, mostly because I simply can't stop myself all the time and I can't see myself. I don't like looking at it though so for photos I tend not to smile unless I'm certain it looks OK

[Lucy_lou]

Take my advice with a grain of salt, because I have unusual tastes, and would like to style every man to my own tastes, but if you were my ken doll (which I assure you you don't want to be and you'd be better to take heed of the advice above), I'd shorten the hair on top, maybe making it either all about an inch long, maybe a little shorter around the back (basically, just lose the boof), and maybe bring in a thin beard tracing the jaw bone, and even maybe a thinnish moustache to join up with it (if that's not to excetric), and lose the casual t-shirt and ALWAYS be more dressed up than wearing just a tan box t-shirt. long sleeved bonds t-shirt, a normal shirt, or something more. Straight guys often make the mistake of wearing unflattering and overly casual clothes.

 

But the best way to dress is as yourself. If it doesn't feel natural, it's wrong. You're already on the right path by being vein. A lot of guys have a vanity deficiency and aesthetics end up suffering.

 

BTW you're not unattractive. You're not bad, and you have very nice eyes.

 

All the best.

[Entomon]

LoL Multiple chins when you laugh? I think everyone has multiple chins when they laugh, young or old, skinny or overweight. And your overbite is pretty normal in people also so you're not alone.

 

I say smile your best smile and take a photo for us to critique. We'll give you our honest opinions and we have so thus far.

[just M.E.]

Overbite, I have one too, it seems to be a bigger deal to my dentist than any of the guys I have met, it really isn't noticeable in your picture, smile, you look like you would really have a nice one!!!

[Zuzu2]

I don't see anything wrong with the way you look at all so I wouldn't worry. just work on building your self confidence.

[wayworndude]

Thanks to everyone who has answered. As a couple people asked, here's a pic of me smiling.

 

 

Any better Honest opinions are much appreciated as ever, thanks.

 

...lose the casual t-shirt and ALWAYS be more dressed up than wearing just a tan box t-shirt. long sleeved bonds t-shirt, a normal shirt, or something more. Straight guys often make the mistake of wearing unflattering and overly casual clothes.

 

But the best way to dress is as yourself. If it doesn't feel natural, it's wrong. You're already on the right path by being vein. A lot of guys have a vanity deficiency and aesthetics end up suffering.

Yeah fashion's another area I am pretty bad at, so I put on one of the shirts I wear when I 'dress up' in the pic above. It's nothing special, just a black button down shirt. Add some hair gel and that's pretty much it. I only have a couple shirts like that for when I go out to a club or something, otherwise it's usually just t-shirt and jeans all the way for me. I wouldn't mind going for a new fashion style, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with it or anything. I just have no clue what looks good and what isn't. Most of my gay friends are goth or such too so no help there

 

Also I didn't know it was good to be vain, I was always taught the opposite

[ghost69]

i have a gay friend. he has told me it's all about personality and the guy being comfortable with who they are. in shape helps too.

[rs.dallaire]

I've seen hot girls being attracted by a lousy looking guy and I've seen not so attractive girls being extremely picky. Who knows...

 

This is the kind of question I asked myself when I was unsuccessful with the ladies. Now I really don't give a damn anymore.

 

Attractiveness is all about doing your best with what you've got.

[Superfreak]

To the OP, you should know that what a woman finds attractive in a man, and what a gay man finds attractive in a man can be quite different.

[wayworndude]

i have a gay friend. he has told me it's all about personality and the guy being comfortable with who they are. in shape helps too.

Hmm conflicting views, I've been told before now that gay guys value looks more than women

 

This is the kind of question I asked myself when I was unsuccessful with the ladies. Now I really don't give a damn anymore.

Ah, good to hear I'm not the only one then

 

Attractiveness is all about doing your best with what you've got.

Yeah that's what I'm asking how I can achieve.

 

To the OP, you should know that what a woman finds attractive in a man, and what a gay man finds attractive in a man can be quite different.

Hmm, you know I never considered this

[rs.dallaire]

Yeah that's what I'm asking how I can achieve.

 

Well, one could write an entire book on this but here's a summary of my thoughts, in no particular order:

 

* Invest in a good wardrobe and make sure you don't mismatch items

* Be an attentive listener

* Work out and be as fit as you reasonably can

* Smile

* Visit the dentist regularly

* Get a good education and a good job

* Be knowledgeable about the stuff you talk about

[someguy88]

If I were you I'd probably shorten your hair on the sides a little and keep the top about the same length. Get some molding paste (flat finish) and style your hair something like link removed maybe not as short on the sides.

 

You have a somewhat round jaw and big cheeks so you want to make your head look a little more square to look 'tougher' for lack of a better word.

 

I agree with everyone that's said a big smile is the most attractive thing for men and women.

[boo121]

second photo is much better - Try this out. Give a half smile and slightly raise ur eyebrows.

 

Spike ur hair up at the front, with a bit of gell. You don't need to spend several hours in front of the mirror, trying to get every strand of hair in the right place like most girls do. Give it a more exciting look.

[Mavh25]

I like the first picture you have, it does'nt say anything "stay away from me" ish, atall to me, I like

[yellow_sweater]

The smiling picture is much better!

 

I'd say you could use a haircut, not necessarily a new style, just because it looks rather shaggy.

 

YS

[rs.dallaire]

I say get a cool haircut and smile.

[taxi10]

Well, one could write an entire book on this but here's a summary of my thoughts, in no particular order:

 

* Invest in a good wardrobe and make sure you don't mismatch items

* Be an attentive listener

* Work out and be as fit as you reasonably can

* Smile

* Visit the dentist regularly

* Get a good education and a good job

* Be knowledgeable about the stuff you talk about

 

That's well- explained!

[wayworndude]

Yes and I appreciate the advice however I am already aware of the other facets of attraction. I am learning guitar, I am teaching myself piano. I am applying for University. I am very well aware and in control of how else to improve myself.

 

This topic is purely regarding physical attraction, hence asking what makes a man physically attractive and the reason I posted a few pictures of myself. Looks are an enigma to me, I have very few clues as to what makes a man look good and, as stated in my first post, this has been slighted further. As such I am asking for comments/critique/suggestions regarding my physical appearance ie how I look now and how I could improve it. Getting other peoples' opinions on my appearance gains me valuable insight into how others perceive me and what I can do about that. For instance, one user stated my hair looks shaggy in my second posted picture. I did not see that at all and thus it has helped me learn about how others see me.

 

Thanks to everyone who has posted. I see a haircut is a recurring suggestion. It wasn't that long ago that I got my haircut the previous time, this is short for me Up until not long ago I didn't really take much notice of my hair, I'm only recently learning how important it is. I have some hair products but aside simply spiking up the front I don't do anything else with my hair. I don't know how or what to do

[Little Blue Ant]

Find your own look man. Something YOU like. Several people are telling you to cut your hair, I say "blah!". I have longer hair than you, about 3 inches all around, and the style works for me. But thats my style, kind of a indie/hiphop kind of guy.

 

I also worked at a clothing retail store for 7 years through college, so I've learned a thing or two about clothing style as well. Just browse around at some magazines and pay attention to a style you like, something thats comfortable FOR YOU. Don't conform to what the status quo is, unless of course you want to blend in.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

it depends on the women. if its initial contact then its his looks, anything else can be determined upon meeting.