She keeps popping up randomly

[gnarlyhoc]

It may not sound like a real big thing. But over the last month she has contacted me over instant messenger 4 times. Each time is something different and weird. I'll give a little background on my story too, she broke up with me almost 4 months ago now. She has a new boyfriend within 45 days. Our relationship lasted 2 and a half years. Her excuses were that i treated her like crap for the last 6 months (which i didn't, she was just very needy and i was getting tired) Then her excuses changed to say that i was boring, and i was always depressed, again which i am not. I would just get tired because she wanted to spend every second with me. Many late nights at her house and so on.

 

Anywho, we had a pretty rough break-up. I went 30 days NC in late october, then she sent me some texts over Thanksgiving. She was wondering if i "hooked up with anyone". I never told her anything about anything.

 

About a week later i sent her an email saying how much fun we had together, and whatever. But i also spelled out that i didn't want to be friends. And if she couldn't accept that, then she shouldn't talk to me. She told me "I understand you don't want to be friends" Ok everything was going fine for about a week.

 

Then all of sudden she contacts me about some video i showed her about 8 months ago while we were together. I can get a link to the video its pretty cool. Anywho this struck me as crazy because she said we didn't have anything in common. Well this video was something i was really interested in. I got really confused by that. Then she sent me another message a few days later asking about what im doing next semester in college. I didn't tell her much there either. Ok, so finals roll around and i blocked her for the week so i could do my thing. I heard from her cousin who i am good friends with that she brought her boyfriend over after break for a few days. I didn't really care that much, since i was trying my best to move on. I figured she would just leave me alone. The day after her boyfriend left, i get another message really early in the morning. She was asking if i knew some band or something. I said no and that ended the conversation. I was shocked she would ask me about music too, because in that email she sent back she told me how different we are, and how we listen to different things. Then the same day, just really late at night she sends me another message asking if i had a CD.

 

Now that last part would make you think, "Oh, she just wanted her stuff back" But that CD was actually a copy of a program i made for her. The program, again, is something that i was interested in.

 

It just seems really weird. If we have nothing in common leave me alone. Go with your new boyfriend who has everything in common with you.

 

 

[hmdreamer7]

hmmm, maybe she's trying to show you that it is possible for the two of you to be friends, by making conversation with stuff that you are interested in? You might have to send her another message saying how you don't wish to communicate with her anymore, if it bothers you that much.

 

But if you told her you don't want to be friends and you want her to leave you alone, then you might have to be a little more drastic, i.e., block her phone number/email/IM. Maybe that's the only way she'll really get the message.

[fastball2113]

iv had the same problem you are dealing with.

 

when the girl starts IMing you, calling you, emailing you or whatever and you do not want to talk to her DONT RESPOND. you are playing right into her hands when you give her an answer, even if it is abrupt and ends the conversation. i think in this situation you might just have to spell out to her that when you said you dont wana be friends with her, that meant that you are done and have washed your hands of her. the power is in your hands.

 

women may tend to control alot, but you have the ability to walk away....that always drives them insane (even though they are already nutty)

[gnarlyhoc]

The last time she sent me a message i didn't reply. She hasn't sent one since, which has been good. That was on 12/21, just in time to make the holidays a little tougher lol.

[parralax]

I'm with fastball2113. If you don't want to hear from her any more don't respond. Some people don't get it though and you might have to re-state that you don't want to see her any more.

 

I think that sometimes too people feel better at different rates, they feel better so think that the other party should too, so think to themselves: why shouldn't they make contact? Or maybe they think that you were not serious when you said that you did not want to see them anymore, they can't accept the end, so, once again, they might think to themselves: why shouldn't they make contact?

 

Its a mystery really. Have a happy holiday season, I hope you are feeling better about this soon!

[gnarlyhoc]

that's what i think i am going to do. I can't stand to talk to her, she is like a whole new person. She has this fake confidence about her, i say fake because i know the immature person inside of her. She really had confidence issues. She never thought she was good enough in the relationship.

 

But im just going to keep on truckin

[gnarlyhoc]

Alright so i got an update from a party i went to. One of my friends was talking to me about my ex and a conversation they had. I didn't bring it up, he just decided to tell me.

 

Anyway he told me that he was talking to her. And he told her that we were all (my whole group of friends) hanging out together one night. We were just watching movies and video games and whatever. She made a comment like "i dont hear about anything anymore because im not with him anymore soo it kinda sucks , but he doesn't want to see me so i try avoiding him." She was telling him how she feels bad because she thinks i am always uncomfortable. and he just told her that i've been great (which i have).

 

 

 

I guess what i am getting at is. She never wanted to hang out with these people. I would ask her and she would complain, then come anyway. She wasn't really friends with my friends. And now she is talking to them and asking to hang out. Obviously she would know i would be there with them if they were to hang out.

 

 

I'm just venting though. It just bugs me because she never wanted to hang out with them, and now all of a sudden she wants to do all the things i do with them.

[parralax]

This is a bit strange - she said that she avoids you yet she texts you? Are the people that you hang out with people who were your friends that you introduced her to - what is the social scene here?

[gnarlyhoc]

yeah i introduced them all to her. i knew these guys basically my whole life. and i would bring her to my friends house and we would play ping pong and video games. She would come along and she made friends with them. But they wouldn't just hang out with her. I would always be there. It is really odd. It's almost like she is testing me to see how far she can push it before i say something.