What is She Thinking About The Relationship?

[MizzouFan1985]

Here is the situation. A girl asked me out a couple of months ago, we had a good time, I didn't ask her out again (for personal reasons). Anyway, I recently determined that I did have feelings for her and want to try to make a go of it. I have asked her on a few dates, which we have done (when she has time available) and had a good time. It seems I am the one having to initiate everything - she rarely calls me and never asks me to do anything.

 

Because of what happened previously, I have been reticent to initiate the physical phase until we get to know each other better. No kissing yet, but we did have a nice hug (which she started) on our last movie date. What are people's thoughts on this? Does she have her guard up? Am I not being clear enough to her about my intentions? How should I deal with the situation?

[Dating Coach]

Keep planning the dates, keep going out, etc but bro, step up the physical stuff. You're way behind there.

[elveden]

Talk to her. A relationship has to be based on honesty, and without communication you're going nowhere fast.

 

Tell her your thoughts, and expect her to share hers with yours. Try not to form assumptions about what she might be thinking.. hear it from her. It's healthy

 

Know where you are.. then you can work out where you can be. (I made that up. I'm pretty proud of it)

[Dating Coach]

I disagree. Getting into this "serious" drama filled discussion this early when her actions aren't showing a High Interest Level is a deal killer. You will have come on too strong emotionally too fast.

 

Your actions are the key. Communicate through actions, this way you do not risk overdoing it.

 

Your actions should be to plan a date, take her out, have a good time, and then KISS the girl! That will tell her in no uncertain terms that you like her, yet it tells her this without you adding the drama of sitting down and discussing feeling and what you expect from each other. That chases girls away real fast.

[itsallgrand]

If it were me, I would appreciate a brief comment about why you suddenly disappeared.

 

Keep taking her on dates, and maybe apologize for it. Nothing heavy, then move on.

 

I don't see the harm of it, and it would impress me. Though I am one person only.

 

It's a bit confusing and unsettling when someone blips off the screen, pops back on without a word about it. At least acknowledging that it may have been inconvienent for her is a nice thing to do.

[MizzouFan1985]

I need to clarify something. I didn't disappear from her life. Actually I continued to converse with her (some emails, chatted with her when she was at work). It was more of a case that at the time, I just saw her as a friend and nothing more, thus I didn't ask out on a date. However, as I got to know her better, I started to develop those feelings and became interested in dating. However, I completely agree with the sentiments that her guard is up because she is probably not sure what I am trying to do now. I think all I can do is continue to initiate, continue to show I am interested (including upping the physical contact), etc. However, if she has lost interest, I would not be surprised and I guess you could say I probably deserve it.