Out of the mouths of babes...

[need2bme]

OK, well he isn't really a "babe". He is my son and he is an adult. I was talking to him and he said, "dad, you keep talking about her". "How can you want to be with her, after what she did." "Look at the way she let you go."

 

She did let me go. I did not do this. Sure I messed up, but I didn't run, she did.

 

He then said, "I know I did good with "his ex" (who REALLY hurt him), because I was good to her and I always put her first." "I don't have anything to feel bad about." "I didn't want what she wanted." "She kept trying to convince me and she just kept going until she found someone who wanted what she wanted."

 

You know what? That part about being there for her and "always putting her first" is so true. What the hell am I beating myself up for?

 

I loved her so much. I wanted to spend my life with her. I KNOW I did things that were wrong and I did things I am very sorry for. I was so willing to make amends and try to make everything work.

 

I also realized that the reasons I did some of the stuff I did, was because of her ALWAYS speaking of the ex, ALWAYS speaking of other guys, AND ALWAYS finding stuff wrong with me AND telling me (as if trying to get ammo to back up her reasons for running), etc.

 

I did nothing but build her up...

 

So, my son was right...

[Kalika]

Probably it's time to focus more on your son and less on a woman.. ??

[Celadon]

Letting go can take time. It sounds like you've had a revelation that will help you move forward. If you can, don't hang onto anger towards your ex. It only ends up hurting you more than it does her (take it from me, I know that one!).

[need2bme]

Probably it's time to focus more on your son and less on a woman.. ??

 

You are kidding me right? My son is old enough to drink and lives on his own.

 

My point was that it took him (while visiting for Christmas) to make me realize what I should have on my own.

 

So, I guess in that sense, I SHOULD listen to him more.