things I want to say to my ex

[pinkelephant]

^ lol, ew!

 

 

ex bf,

 

you're a scum. how does it feel to be all alone now?

 

love,

me.

[Jess...]

Dear ex, (I think this is going to be long)

 

*sigh* its almost a full year since I've physically spoken to you. Where do I start... How about with you dumping me on Christmas Eve last year - after telling me the day before that you loved me, just like any other day. What sort of cold, heartless person does that to someone they 'love'? That simple action in itself speaks volumes about you, and your consideration for other people's feelings (or should I say lack thereof).

 

What a year it has been! It hasn't been easy, in fact its been hard as hell at times. But you know what? I made it! I AM OK WITHOUT YOU. Bet you never thought I'd say that huh? I am stronger, better, and happier than ever - and its all because of you. Thankyou so much for having the guts to walk away from me when I needed you most - had you not done that, I wouldn't have learnt what I have, and I'd still be a destructive, unhappy person, who didn't have the strength to leave you.

 

The way you treated me after the split was atrocious. I wish I had gone into NC right away, but alas, I didn't know about the 'NC rule' til several months AFTER I'd already made a fool of myself. Oh well, thems the breaks, and I guess at least I provided you with some entertainment for a while.

 

And you have since repaid the favour, and provided me (and many of the ENA-ers) with hours of laughter and rolling eyes. I'm pleased to tell you that everyone who replied to my threads about your stupid behaviour thought it was hilarious, and many of them wanted more stories. They also thought it was highly immature like I did. So its not just me

 

Hmm what else can I fill you in on? I've come a long way without you - I'm now happy in my job, I'm never stressed, I'm never angry, I rarely have bad days now. What does that say about us? You were the cause of a lot of stress, worry and unhappiness. Yes, it takes 2 to fight, but that's the point - it took *2*.

 

The family are great. We are all happy, and looking forward to Christmas. I got my Dad some awesome presents that I *know* you would be surprised at, and I did it all on my own. You were always so amazed when I mentioned a particular car, or something about tools, or just general 'guy stuff' - like I wasn't supposed to know. I told you all the time that I know about guy stuff, and you never believed me. I even told you stuff *you* dodnt know! I bet your new gf doesn't know half the stuff I told you.

 

Speaking of the new gf, thanks for being so honest about her when I asked did you think there was any possibility of a second chance for us. It took another 2 weeks for me to find out that not only were you lying when you said "I just want to be single, I don't want the commitment", but that you had a new gf, and had had her for some time. Cue the red face and feeling stupid. Your honesty was one of the things I loved about you, but I see that has disappeared with you. I always told you "I'm not as stupid as I look" and it seems you still don't believe me. How long did you think it would take before I found out? *rolls eyes*

 

Sure, there are things I still miss about you. That snorting noise you made in the back of your throat when you had phlegm. I tried to do it myself, but it didn't work. The way you used to come to me and say 'can you fix my eyebrows'. How handsome you looked in a face mask. The way all I had to say was "boo" jumping out from behind the stairs and you would nearly wet yourself - you're such a scaredy cat. That time I got you to put on one of my dresses and my sister and her friend caught you - priceless! But seriously? The way I felt with your arms around me. The way you would comfort me when I was sad. The way you were *always* there for me. And the thing I miss the most? My best friend. But I will have all those things again, with someone else. Its only a matter of time. I'm willing to wait.

 

I know you don't care, but I'm doing great. I'm happy now, and I love my life. And its because you aren't in it. I know I've told you that, and I didn't mean it to be harsh, but I really am glad you dumped me. And I know you told me you are too, so we're both better off. The way you looked at me yesterday (and every time I see you) makes me think something isn't quite right with you though.

 

I know I will never be 'just another girl' to you, but I wish you would let me be. There is nothing inside me that still feels connected to you - why isn't it like that for you? I can tell by your eyes that something doesn't feel right when you see me. I'm a reminder of your past, and you look like you go drifting back there every time we make eye contact. Remember YOU chose this. YOU let me go, and YOU have a new gf now. You'll never forget me though - I can tell I still mean a lot. When you see me down the street you don't just glance at me. You look, and your eyes linger for a little longer than they should. I'm a strong memory for you. I'm someone you will *never* forget. I won't forget you either, but you don't mean anything to me now. We had an extraordinary history, but that's exactly what is now. History. You are my past and you will always be in my past.

 

You are the guy that broke my heart into a million tiny pieces and almost destroyed me. I can forgive you for that, and I have. I picked up the pieces, and put them back together. There are still a few little pieces missing, but I will never get them back because you have them. You will always have them. I don't want them back. You were my first love, you meant so much to me, and no-one can or ever will take your place in my heart - but one day someone else will be there, and I will love him so much more than I loved you. I know its possible (although at first I didn't think so).

 

Everything I've gone through in this past year is because of you, everything keeps coming back to you breaking up with me. I still don't necessarily understand *why* you did what you did, but I thank you, and I forgive you. I cannot however, forgive you for *when* you did it - on Christmas Eve of all days! - or *what* you did. You uncovered a heartbreaking family secret that I wish I never found out. I can never forgive you for that. Every time I think about it, I realise I know *because of you*.

 

I wish you happiness, and hope you are living the life you wanted. I hope she can do for you what I couldn't. I also hope that if anything happens with the guy I've been talking to, that he will never be you. A little piece of me will always love you - but not the way I used to. Thankyou....thankyou for *everything*

 

Merry Christmas

 

Love Jess.

 

(Wow how cathartic! I just poured my heart out - I'm exhausted now!)

[greensleeves]

Dear Ex,

I can't think of anything nice to say about you yet...maybe in time, but right now, tonight, I hate you. I hate the gray hat and ugly jean jacket that you wore, I hate your drama, I hate that you can't let go of your baggage and that you let it infect our relationship, I hate that you profess to be a buddhist but don't practice goodness and kindness in your life, at least not towards me, I hate that when your son came to visit you were judgemental of him and I hate that you put cheesewhiz on french toast (who the hell does that?) I think that you are pretentious son of a * * * * * and by the way I FAKED IT on more than a few occasions, because you don't know what the hell you're doing between the sheets, even though I tried to guide you in the right direction I hate that in spite of it all I loved you but you didn't think I was good enough.

I think you're an a**hole.

Me

[de_struc_thor]

My dear ex:

you have beautiful eyes, but they will fade

you have the breasts of a goddess, but they will sag

you have a sexy way of smoking, until you start hacking

you are determined and smart, when you've had your pills

you read a lot of books, books that bore me

 

...and when these things fade or are overlooked people will realize the immature, selfish, little * * * * * that you truly are!

[Jackson123]

Dear C)^&$,

 

I'm sorry I let things spiral out of control.

I'm sorry I pushed you away when we needed each other the most.

I'm sorry for what I did to you and to us.

I'm sorry what I did to me.

I miss you

I miss us

I love you

I pray for your peace and happiness everyday.

I'm glad I finally gave you the closure you needed and deserved.

I wish we could take small steps towards a reconciliation.

I pray you followed your heart and not your head.

I'll always be here for you but I have to try and let you go.

 

Much Love and hugs

Me

[circi]

I was trying to build up your precious ego one night and told you I love you because you are a good person. You said you weren't a good person.

 

I should have listened to you.

 

You're not the person I thought you were, or hoped you were.

You are not the person you think you are.

I don't know who you are anymore.

I urge you to go to more therapy, if you really even went.

Stop using work as an excuse for EVERYTHING. Work is not the problem, you are.

 

I am sorry that even now you are proving that you are not the type of man I need. You helped me realize what kind of man I DO need though, so I guess I can thank you for that.

 

Good luck with your next roommate, you son of a #%@#%!