Simply don't know how to handle my emotions.

[olena]

I am wondering if someone could give me a piece of their mind.

 

I came out of a long term relationship about a year ago, feeling unloved, unwanted, unattractive, let down, disappointed and all of the rest.

I have been working in a company for over 1 year now and my Director has always been very complimentary of me. During the year he has told me that I am his best appointment, that he takes pride in me, that I always do a first class job and he has always rewarded me accordingly, in terms of open praise, credit and pay rises.

 

Lately, we was promoted and because of added responsibilities he has spent less time with me. But over the last few months, I caught his looking at me and smilling, and making many compliments -more of a personal nature. Some of the comments that he has made have been sexual in nature, but never offending in any way.

 

Over the last couple of months he upset me a couple of times, but I kept quiet as I knew that he has been stressed with work - plus I suspect that his good old PA is putting words in his mouth...

In the last month, because of work he has had to give me a rather dangerous project to deal with. The way that it was presented to me, made me feel very insecure and I ended up telling him so, and asking him to get me legal advise for consultation. He has done his best to get him all I have asked for, but remained distant. Last week, during our xmas party we ended up chatting for over 2 hours, sitting very closely to each other - about the project. He asked me if I trust him and when he realised that I was doupting him he said to me that he will prove me that I can trust him - because he does not let down his people - because I am a friend.

He then said to me that it would mean something to him if I let him know once I have regained me trust in him and explained that for now he needs to keep his distance from me, as he has been accused of lack of impartiality, about the way that he dealt with the project himself. He explained to me that he is not exposing me to any danger and that although I am at the centre of all of this, he is creating a safety net around me, in so that the project can not backfire putting me at risk.

 

During our conversation a couple of colleagues apporached to ask what we were talking about, and he just cut them short by saying that we are simply talking about Greek orgies...The following day a couple of people asked me what it was all about and commented that we looked weird...

 

During the last month, I get the impression that he has showed some signs of jelousy, but it's never too clear to me...For example a guy sent me flowers twice and he made some remarks - such as - will he drop them off him self next time and do you feel intimitated? The remarks were picked up by other people who then commented that he sounded very protective of me...

 

And then, when added more work for me, I turned round and said to him that I am at work until 9-10 o'clock at night every night so I might as well get my bed in and never go home...In response he commented - you might get more sleep than last night if you do that - simply beccause before that I had said that I was tired due to lack of sleep...

Other comments - I told him that I am having to 'love' a specific supplier to reduce costs' and in response I got a ' Lucky supplier comment back', whilst he was looking at the floor...

On a daily basis, we look at each other eye to eye...With the corner of my eye I notice him looking at me smilling...

 

And I am beginning to feel things for this man, because of all of the attention that he is showing me...I do generally trust him, but put a question mark, because of the project - thereforeeee I am keeping this to my self, and make him think that I still don't trust him until I feel more secure with the project and the circumstances...

He is married with children...and although he has talked about his children he has never mentioned his wife...

 

He is really confusing me...the language he uses is darling and babe - and this is not the norm in working places...and not the language he uses with the rest of the girls in the company...

 

Any ideas?

I am beginning to feel uncomfortable, because of the fact that I am developing emotions....

That I simply don't know how to handle...Beyond attraction, but actually falling in love...

 

Olena.

[Lana0120]

Don't even go there. Just back off and maintain professionalism as far as you can. He sounds like a married man who thinks the grass is greener elsewhere. You'll just get hurt, so back off.

[Alabama]

Be proffesional around him, and that is all. It's okay of course to develop a friendship, but find something else to occuy your "love" interests. This can be a dangerous thing indeed. Start dating other people. It may help you get over him.

[Portage]

You will only regress if you go with these advances. You may be on a 'high' initially but the bubble will burst almost immediately.

 

BIG RED FLAGS. DON'T DO IT.

[Catatonic]

Agree with all the above advice. This has "T-R-O-U-B-L-E" written all over.

[olena]

Yes, this does have trouble written all over...

 

Over the last few days, I avoid looking at him, or going to his office to talk...It feels as if something starts it will be difficult to stop and then end...

 

I am not sure of what I want, so I have distanced my self from him and the situation...For a varierty of reasons and mainly because I don't feel very confident with my project until I see how things develop in that domain...

 

He makes a point of coming to talk to me..More discretely and in a more affectionate manner than before...

And I just keep it straight to the point and short simply because I can sense people watching, and I can sense tension...

 

Men will always be men I suppose...they always want to see if the grass is greener on the other side...

But I have never had so much attention...

 

What does this man want?

 

Olena