blondy Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 I am posting this not for advice but for anyone to share their good and bad experiences with online dating. Unfortunately in my case, my experience thus far with online dating has been an absolute joke. I cant tell you how many times I had my hopes up after talking to some attractive guy who seemed like a great catch...only to meet him in person and find he's a complete nutcase and not my type at all. The last guy, lets just call him "Chris" - seemed like a great guy. He was attractive (in his picture anyway), had a good job, a good sense of humor and really seemed like he had his together. We talked on and off on the phone for a few days and decided to meet up. On our first date (a quick dinner/drinks thing after work) - he looked NOTHING like his picture whatsoever and barely said two words during dinner. And not only that, he insisted we "split" something and then all he ordered was ice water?! Very strange. Then, when he finally DID talk, he told me how "hot" I was and that he couldnt wait to get home so he could "take care of something". At this point, I was beyond turned off, slightly disgusted, and excused myself to go use the bathroom. I ended up leaving and never spoke to him again. Now, that was my worst/extreme story. I have gone on a handful of other first dates that went nowhere as well simply because there was no attraction or (in another situation) - the guy told me he LOVED ME after two weeks??? Is it so hard to find a normal, sane man who knows how to date women anymore?!? Or am I just using the wrong avenue? I've since given up on online dating altogether. I decided to try it because I have outgrown the whole bar scene and the chances of meeting MR. Right under the guise of booze is slim in my opinion. I am also in hardcore NC with my ex (which has been difficult to say the least) so I've been trying to "put myself out there" so to speak because I feel ready to start dating again. Anyway. Hope this hasn't been too long. Feel free to post with whatever you wish to share, any experiences, etc. I certainly can't be the only one whose had ill luck with this.... Link to comment
programmer Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I think guys feel the opposite. That there aren't any normal or attractive girls out there on online dating sites. I'm sure there are plenty of attractive and nice guys on this forum. Just send us a pic of you and we will understand better Link to comment
romantic sweetheart Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Chuckle--I once went out with someone I met through a dating site, and he was indeed quite handsome in person, and I felt attracted to him. But pretty soon, things soured, perhaps after our third date. I started getting emails from him saying that he decided he had no interest in realtionships afterall, unless I was just looking for someone to give me a "really good orgasm." He proceeded to tell me he was used to giving women pleasure about 9 times/night. Coming from him, ewwwwwwwww. He told me I had no sexual energy, and referred me to an article by Italian researchers that said women with more ample bosoms were more like mothers, not lovers. He told me he was working on a massive project that would change the world for the better, and that someone like me could never possibly understand the depth and the scope of this kind of undertaking. He also bragged about being a drug dealer in his younger days..... Link to comment
just M.E. Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 R S - Wow, sounds like classic Narccisstic BS to me, I bet he's probably a pizza delivery guy YUCK!!!! Link to comment
blondy Posted December 10, 2007 Author Share Posted December 10, 2007 I think guys feel the opposite. That there aren't any normal or attractive girls out there on online dating sites. I'm sure there are plenty of attractive and nice guys on this forum. Just send us a pic of you and we will understand better I agree. that is why when NORMAL, intelligent and attractive women like myself and the other millions out there who are tired of bar/club scenes try online dating, we get stalked because we are apparently a rarity. I will never do it again, thats for sure. Link to comment
Suesser Tod Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I think guys feel the opposite. That there aren't any normal or attractive girls out there on online dating sites. I'm sure there are plenty of attractive and nice guys on this forum. Just send us a pic of you and we will understand better I'm one of those guys. Recently I was thinking about paying the link removed subscription, $100 for 6 months. I just couldn't get myself to pay that much money without knowing if it could actually work. So I got the 3 day trial... Thanks to the 3 day trial I know I won't join link removed. Before joining I spent like a week looking at profiles. Lowered my standards and got about 12 profiles that I thought could work. Well joined and sent e-mails to those 12. Only got two replies "not interested". Lowered my standards even more and sent another 7 e-mails, I didn't got replies to any of them. This may not be politically correct, but IMHO, 90% of the women in there are ugly, to the point I won't consider dating them. Out of the other 10%, 5% seem to be real psychos. So my options are reduced to the remaining 5%, and the 5% didn't reply. Well, that and the fact that it seems that only about 10% of the total of users have a picture. There is no way I'm going to send an e-mail or start a conversation with someone I haven't seen a picture of. Link to comment
blondy Posted December 10, 2007 Author Share Posted December 10, 2007 thats horrible!...another perfect example. Link to comment
romantic sweetheart Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Just M.E.--You are right!--I recently realised he had all the classic symptoms of someone with Narcisstic Disorder--no emotions, no empathy, blah! He's 35 now, and probably still hasn't worked a day in his life--- Link to comment
wiser Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 The only bad experience I had with online dating was on 2 separate occasions when both women "misrepresented themselves". The first was over 25 years ago, and wasnt online, rather the newspaper personals. She described herself as a "hot blonde recently moved to the area from Texas". We spoke on the phone, she had a great southern accent, and we agreed to meet. She said "I'll be wearing a whyte sweata and tite leatha pants, and cowboy boots". I could hardly wait. She had a picture of me that I had sent her, I did not have one of her. I got there early, I was walking around the bar, and I noticed a considerably overweight woman at the bar...white sweater, leather pants (bulging with fat)...the reality hit me, I started for the door...she turned and saw me..."STEVE!, it's ME". Yuch. An hour or so of my life wasted. I said I had to go shortly thereafter. She said that happened to her a lot. I said she should be more honest. The second one was about 8 months ago. Only her head and shoulders were visibile. She seemed like she was ok. We met for lunch. She was huge. Nice conversation, but not for me. After that, all first dates have been for coffee. Link to comment
romantic sweetheart Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Online dating is really a gamble--There have been success stories, it's just a matter of wading through some of the "bottom feeders" to find that diamond in the rough. But after several disturbing/weird/unfruitful experiences, a person begins to wonder....... Culturally, we really have no set events and rules that encourage marriage, so online dating has taken the place of the "social" or "coming out party" or family match-making, etc. etc.....There are good things and bad things when finding Mr/Ms Right is entirely in a person's hands---The good thing is we have a say in who we become involved with, the bad thing is that the choice is made in the sort of social vacuum of cyberspace, with no real reality check until we see someone in person---- It's a daunting task, but I know there is that hope there because compter matchmaking seems to be one of the last ways to connect with others in this strange paradoxical time of ultra-connection and ultra-isolation.... Link to comment
blondy Posted December 10, 2007 Author Share Posted December 10, 2007 I really just tried it because it was something different. I figured for all the losers on there there might just be a good guy on there for the same reasons as me. And the majority of people on those sites are unattractive and desperate, and I recently learned that. I would rather watch paint dry than ever do this again. there is nothing worse than having to endure even a half an hour of a date with someone you arent the least bit attracted to, and who you know you never plan on speak with/seeing again. Link to comment
auburnslp Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Well here's the alternate viewpoint... I have been on link removed for about a month now. I was on it several years ago, for about a year. I'll write about the present first. So far I have dated 3 women. First was this absolutely drop dead gorgeous, sweet, kind RN. Two dates. I was guilty of moving too fast-said too much too soon, scared her off...it had been a long while since I had last dated so I guess I forgot the rules. Second was this really cute middle school counselor...dated her twice, I broke it off because there was no spark there for me...but there was nothing wrong with her at all, she was cute, funny, smart. Today went on the third date this time around. Hugely attractive RN, works in a pediatric ICU in Atlanta. Extremely pretty, smart, funny-had a great time. And I guess she did too because we have a 2nd date coming this weekend. So link removed can be good-I have had 3 good experiences so far. But... Shift back to about 4 years ago...met another nurse (dang what is it with me and nurses)...took her out to dinner-it was ok, just barely good enough for a second date. Met her for a late lunch and she showed up and I suspected she had had a drink or two already. But no big deal. Went to a buddies house who was having a party. He brews his own beer-very good...she disappears...found her a while later at the beer kegs...she is about lit but having a good time. Still not that big a deal. We leave for the last part of the date-floor seats to an R.E.M. concert. We get there and she is immediately at the beer counter ordering a "bucket" of beer...drinks this huge thing in no time flat. The, for the first half of the concert she is doing this really sexual grind dancing all over me, and there are families and kids right next to, behind, in front of us...she is loud, crude, and obnoxiously drunk. I tell her to quit about 20 times. She finally does and spends the 2nd half of the concert passed out with her head resting in her arms on the chair in front of her. I literally had to walk her out of there. So,...I obviously can't take her back to the lunch restaurant where her car was-she would have killed herself and others. So I bring her to my place, put her in my bed, and sleep on the sofa. I was disgusted at this point. Had been looking forward to that concert for a month and a half. She comes downstairs almost naked and crawls or pours herself all over me. I told her to go back to bed. Next morning she finally gets up and I swear to God acts like nothing at all is wrong, like it was just a normal night out. I take her to her car and say goodbye. She emails, I reply telling her I don't think we are compatible. She goes nuts and calls, emails for two weeks cussing me and calling me all these terrible awful things, finally quits because I never replied... So, that was my horror story of online dating... But so far, so good the second time around... Link to comment
wiser Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 And the majority of people on those sites are unattractive and desperate, and I recently learned that. I would rather watch paint dry than ever do this again. there is nothing worse than having to endure even a half an hour of a date with someone you arent the least bit attracted to, and who you know you never plan on speak with/seeing again. Wow, that's a really negative attitude. Maybe you're right, and it varies by geographic location. I have done the online dating thing, and have met 3 great women, one of whom I am in a 5 month relationship with. And the dates that didnt work out? It wasnt the worst half hour of my life. Almost everyone has SOMETHING interesting to say. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 On a scale of - 10 to + 10, I have rated online dating a - 4. Reason being because I think it just sucks, nobody takes me on in there and those that do have basically been a dead-end. So, if there is a few of words I can summerise my online dating experience is: 1) Dead End. 2) Crash and Burn or Fade Away 3) Pulling teeth. Well there you go. But maybe you might win a jackpot - if you play the lottery long enough you may win a million, so, maybe there is a chance I may hit a love jackpot with online dating too if I gamble my time. Link to comment
katietrapp1 Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Well i did the online dating thing once and met my now husband....we spoke for like 2-3 months online and phone then finally met, and were together 4.5 yrs and recently married....So i guess it depends on what and who your looking for!! Link to comment
programmer Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Since like over 60 percent of the people in USA is overweighted, the percentage of these people is probably even higher on dating sites. I live in a European country (speaking of Europe, how many of you thought it was a country? LOL, don't know if you have heard the story about a former American idol blonde contestant), so the amount of overweighted people are fortunately lower, no offense, but I'm just using facts here. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against big people, but me and other guys here aren't attracted to them. Link to comment
WaterIsLife Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I can't say that I've had any real horror stories. With the exception of people how might be a tad misrepresented by their picture. A former gf and I met through link removed. We were together for over 2 years! Link to comment
auburnslp Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 yeah programmer...true story...can't argue...that's why in online dating it is easy-don't contact anyone that doesn't have a full body shot, and then, just make sure it's recent... Link to comment
auburnslp Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 but I meant the overweight thing...the Europe as a country thing,...well, there's ignorance here for sure, but I am quite sure there is ignorance accross the pond as well Link to comment
selkie Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I agree. that is why when NORMAL, intelligent and attractive women like myself and the other millions out there who are tired of bar/club scenes try online dating, we get stalked because we are apparently a rarity. I will never do it again, thats for sure. Sadly with my job all the people I meet are gay men (fashion/beauty) My friends are married or engaged and have no one new to introduce me too. So far in one year Ive had about 50 online stalkers. Im not kidding. Two of my friends met and married great guys from online and one of them has been married nearly 8 years. I have met some nice guys, but no sparks. Met a hot, funny and cool guy but it's last girlfriend skewered him so he was too much of a wreck to date. Have met a complete psychopath though from Match. Honestly very scared to see him in public, I swear I wont be shocked if he ends up killing chicks someday. He talked about rape/torture fantasies. Tying me up, making me hurt and pretending to rape me. A stockbroker who lives in Gulph Mills, PA. sick sick sick. Link to comment
Suesser Tod Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I really just tried it because it was something different. I figured for all the losers on there there might just be a good guy on there for the same reasons as me. And the majority of people on those sites are unattractive and desperate, and I recently learned that. I would rather watch paint dry than ever do this again. there is nothing worse than having to endure even a half an hour of a date with someone you arent the least bit attracted to, and who you know you never plan on speak with/seeing again. Trust me, there are some of us in there that are worth a shot. However, I dont' think you'll notice any of us after deleting 50+ emails a day from losers. That is why I've given up on online dating. My experience was quite short as it seems the only on-line dating site in Mexico is link removed, and it sucks. Link to comment
justin1305 Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Have met a complete psychopath though from Match. Honestly very scared to see him in public, I swear I wont be shocked if he ends up killing chicks someday. He talked about rape/torture fantasies. Tying me up, making me hurt and pretending to rape me. A stockbroker who lives in Gulph Mills, PA. sick sick sick. OMFG Link to comment
selkie Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I took screenshots of all his insane words and they're safely on an offline server. Plus he sent pics of his member to my cell phone and I saved the sim card of that. Link to comment
justin1305 Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 See i am tempeted to give the whole online thing a go, however i live in a city which may as well be a village, everyone knows everyone. So if I did find a date word would spread that we met online. Now thats cool, however as mentioned earlier, the majority seem to think that the guys on there are desperate or perverted, i am neither of these (well s**t, i hope not, just a normal guy who is just looking to date). Thing is I wouldnt want to risk being labled like this by people who know of me, but dont know me face to face. Trust me, this city is like that. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 some women can be hot and overweight. if she considers herself hot, well, all the more power to her. am i correct that you posted a few threads ago that you put up an online ad as a joke, where you posed as a woman? wasn't that pretty dishonest too? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.