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I hurt my g/f and now I don't know what to do


lordfreespace
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Last Sunday my girlfriend asked me to go sledriding with her, and of course I said yes. We talked for a few minutes, and she was going to call one of her friends so that she could come over as well. And i said to call me back to know if i need to pick anybody up or anything like that. Then a friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to go out with him and go out to eat and hang out at some stores and stuff. I can't say no to people so of coures i said yes. I called my girlfriend up and said that a friend has asked me to go with him. So we talked, and she said to do what i wanted. A couple of her friends were coming over so i figured she would be okay with out me, and she said it was okay, so I went with my friend. I got back like 5 hours later, and called her. And lo-behold she was pissed about the whole thing. I can understand that, but now she will talk to me, but she doesn't want ot see me. I"ve applogized and said that I was wrong for doing that, and I really mean it too, but she is still mad. This is really making me fell depressed, and lonely cause I know I've let somebody I really care for down. I've almost cried because it hurts so much to know that I have hurt somebody I really care for. I've asked told her that it really hurts me to know i've done something like this, an that I really want things to go back before this happened. I don't know how to get her forgiveness or how to make it up to her, but I do know that this hurts me and her. I don't know what to do.

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Just because she said okay, do what you want, doesn't mean it was really okay. She's upset because she thinks you preferred to go with your friend. Originally, you were supposed to be doing something with her...the fact that she invited a friend just means she wanted to have fun with you AND her friend. A woman never prefers her friend over her boyfriend (unlike some men who prefer their male friends over their girlfriends). You also embarrassed her in front of her friend. Imagine how she felt telling her friend you changed your plans. Women like to show off how great their guy is (as quiet as this is kept). You should have told your friend:

 

You're welcome to come along and sled with us-it'll be two girls and two guys now. If you want to do something else, I'll catch you on another day.

I have already planned an event with my girlfriend.

 

Apologize to your girlfriend for:

-bumping her off your schedule

-embarrassing her in front of her friend.

 

I hope this helps.

-Hinta

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hintah has the answers, my friend. From a woman's perspective, he has hit the nail on the headl!!! This is how I feel...

When I am in a serious relationship, my boyfriend is my number one priority, nothing comes before him. I do like to show off my boyfriend. I also like for him to show me off.

This happened this past Sunday? How long have you two been seeing each other? Give it time, honestly. Be sure to let her know you are there, but don't bug her...if that makes sense. When I get pissed at my man because he did something wrong, I will stand off for a while. But even though I stand off, does not mean that I am not thinking about or missing him ever single second. And for him to let me know he is doing the same is all I need. Some people may say 'flowers'...nah, be more creative than that. Honestly, a sincere apology and to know he really cares is all I need. Save the flowers for Valentine's Day or something.

Things will work out. Don't beat yourself up about it. It was a simple mistake, but definatly nothing major and nothing that could not be forgiven.

I'm sorry that girls are so confusing, we say one thing but really mean something else. But understand this, guys are just as confusing to us, although not in the exact same aspects.

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Someone needs to learn to be able to say no! You had already made arrangements with your girlfriend, you should have re-scheduled with your other friend. Unless a member of your family died, there is no reason to cancel one engagement for another.

 

As for fixing things, I concur with the other posts. Be sincere and apologize - in person - for what you did and how you embarrased her. And by all means, never do it again.

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I apprciate your replies. i know I've screwed up, and I've told her how much I regret doing what I did. She is the kind of person that holds on to grudges and that sort of thing, but hopefully she will see how sorry I am. I hope she forgives me soon, cause i really want tings to go back to what they were. Thanks again, and I know one thing. I won't ever do it again.

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