Ever Had a Sexual Relationship Outside of Your Race?

[Cannon]

I wouldn't find it offensive and I'm Black. I've never dated a Hispanic or Asian woman before...it's just broadening your horizons.

[Eire1]

The only thing I can say is that Arab men seem to be extremely keen on anal sex! (I've only been with two Arabs - one Morroccan one Iraqi - but they were both definitely more into it than any other guys I've been with).

That's very interesting. One of my best friends dated this Muslim woman. She was Persian (Iran) and her family were strict shiites, but she lived away from them. He told me she was very sweet, naive, and seemed very sexually inexperienced. That was until they became intimate.

 

He then learned she was completely into being dominated in a bad way. She wanted him to tie her up, be extremely rough, and wanted him to make her do whatever he wanted. He was completely uncomfortable about it all and that was why the relationship didn't last.

 

I sort of wondered if it was because of religious guilt. Like maybe she felt dirty by performing sexual activities, so needed to feel like she was forced or something.

[amtjrtcet]

 

I notice that whenever there is a discussion about interracial dating white women immediately turn it into a conversation about the size of a black man's d1ck. As if that is all black men are good for. Like isn't there other things to appreciate or to contribute than to reinforce negative stereotypes about black men?

 

As a black woman, I happen to be attracted for black men for who they are--it's defintely not because of the size of their allegedly large penises. if they had medium sized penises I'd still be interested in them.

 

I'm afraid that's a stereotype you're placing on white women. I'm not white, but I'm not black either. My boyfriend is black, there is much much more to him then the size of his penis.

[BronzedSkin123]

so far i've noticed a pattern in IR dating, judging from those who participated most of them involve a Black guy and someone of a different race..

 

I really would like to read something that is a change of pace, I know there has to be some Black women out there who IR date..I heard outside of the US black women date outside their race more often. I'd like to hear from these women..and others as well.

[tiredofvampires]

BronzedSkin,

I read an interesting article last night on link removed that said 1 in 5 wealthy white British women have traveled to Africa specifically to have sex with young black males. They pay the men well for the opportunity to hook up with them sexually. I was kind of shocked. I posted the article as a thread, but the mods removed it.

 

While there may some factual truth to this story (I really have NO idea, your thread was the only thing I've seen or heard of about this), you should be aware that MSNBC is a pseudonym for BSNBC.

 

There are there to shock you, period.

[afrodite79]

I agree that some of the "mandingo" myth came from slavery. White people thought that black people were hypersexual and even not completely human. I've seen the study that said that black men were on average slightly larger endowed than white men. I don't think that that small difference would make much of a difference. The stereotype has stayed around so long because black men help perpetuate it. I've heard many black guys talking about how well hung they are because they're black. They're proud of that stereotype while unknowingly promoting the racist belief that they're mindless sex machines.

 

There's also a similar myth about black women. I've known people to think that black women are easy, extremely freaky in bed and have way larger vaginas. Someone on here even told a guy to try black women because their vaginas are larger. A few men I've been with have been surprised that I have small genitals. All of this comes from ideas that have been passed down from slavery.

 

This whole thread has been very interesting.

[afrodite79]

so far i've noticed a pattern in IR dating, judging from those who participated most of them involve a Black guy and someone of a different race..

 

I really would like to read something that is a change of pace, I know there has to be some Black women out there who IR date..I heard outside of the US black women date outside their race more often. I'd like to hear from these women..and others as well.

 

I date IR. I've actually only dated white men so far. I think in the US it doesn't happen as much for a lot of reasons. Some black women are severely loyal to black men and feel that dating out makes them a traitor. There is pressure on black women to only date black men and "support the brothers". Also a lot of american white men are afraid of the repercussions of dating a black woman. They're scared that they'll be shunned by family and friends or even have their careers affected. Some believe all the crazy stereotypes of us being low class, stupid, argumentative and whores. I've had so many white men be surprised that I don't speak ebonics and that I love rock. Some feel that we all act like Lil Kim. There's still A LOT of racism in america. Some white men are interested but feel black black women only want black men. A lot of black women feel the same and think that white men won't be attracted to them or would only want them for sex and not a real relationship. There are a lot of factors involved. I think that in other countries more black women date IR because those countries don't have the legacy of slavery and weird ideas about race that the US does.

[tiredofvampires]

This IS a really interesting thread, in part because it is in the Sex forum, so clearly issues about people's anatomy and physiology are being discussed, but actually dating someone involves so much more than just the experience of curiosity about their physical attributes (unless you call casual hook-ups solely or primarily for the purpose of sex "dating.") This discussion could be as easily in the Dating forum.

 

A few people here are saying that skin color doesn't make a particle of difference, whether you date a Hispanic person, an East Indian, an Asian or a Black person. It's not that skin color matters, it's that, as one poster pointed out, along racial and ethnic lines (which are also being blurred in this thread), there come a huge variety of cultural differences that can make two people very dissimilar in ways that don't make them a good match. I've experienced this first-hand. So I think it's oversimplifying it to say that someone being of another race/enthnicity has no bearing on the relationship (or even the sex, since sexual attitudes can vary a lot, depending on someone's background). It usually will (for good or bad), if you are with them for the right reasons, as attitudes emerge, are shared, or not shared.

 

Stripping away all the cultural and personality aspects of the discussion, if we were just going to boil it down to a small issue (and I do mean small, in the whole scheme of what makes up a person), BronzedSkin, it seems you have a different experience with black men than some others that have, (who are also black), who have posted on this thread. Being a white woman, I would never date a black man just because of stereotypical allegations about genital size (I wouldn't date anyone for that reason, either, as I want a good lover, not a big penis), but just from a PURELY physical standpoint, it seems that there is too much experiential, anecdotal, and even as one poster stated, statistical evidence to suggest that biologically, black men have a greater likelihood of being more well-endowed. Meaning, that if you take a roomful of 100 random white men, a roomful of 100 random Asian men, and a roomful of 100 black men, the roomful of black men would have a higher percent of well-endowed men. And by that I mean larger than the standard norm for "average size" that white people have claimed is about 5-6 inches. This could be an arbitrary number, but if you go by that "yardstick", then it might be true that an average sampling of black men might exceed this more often than white men.

 

I don't think that if you take all the other hype away, there is anything intrinsically good, bad, right, or wrong, about saying this. The innocent penis, created by our maker in whatever color and size, knows nothing about all the furor of controversy associated with it.

 

It is we who make big deals out of big penises or not.

 

Having said this, and seeing as how you are trying to debunk a myth which you find distasteful, I am curious about this:

 

Because the whole black men have large penises stereotype dates back to slavery. When black guys were being auctioned off they were fully naked, and the White women were intrigued at the size of their d!cks

 

Just for the sake or argument and logic...why would white women be intrigued by the size of black men's parts (seeing many hundreds, even thousands of them) if they weren't larger than the white ones they were accustomed to?

 

My apologies if this has been addressed and I overlooked it.

[Eire1]

While there may some factual truth to this story (I really have NO idea, your thread was the only thing I've seen or heard of about this), you should be aware that MSNBC is a pseudonym for BSNBC.

 

There are there to shock you, period.

 

Here's the link for those of you who are wondering what is being discussed. By the way, it looks like the news source is Reuters: link removed

[BronzedSkin123]

I agree that some of the "mandingo" myth came from slavery. White people thought that black people were hypersexual and even not completely human. I've seen the study that said that black men were on average slightly larger endowed than white men. I don't think that that small difference would make much of a difference. The stereotype has stayed around so long because black men help perpetuate it. I've heard many black guys talking about how well hung they are because they're black. They're proud of that stereotype while unknowingly promoting the racist belief that they're mindless sex machines.

 

There's also a similar myth about black women. I've known people to think that black women are easy, extremely freaky in bed and have way larger vaginas. Someone on here even told a guy to try black women because their vaginas are larger.

This whole thread has been very interesting.

 

Society does not know what to think of black women b/c our womanhood has never been properly defined. As a result we have these contradicting stereotypes. First you have the jezebel stereotype-Black women are nymphos who are ready for sex anywhere and with anyone. Then there is the other one that labels black women as being sexually conservative and sexually repressed(remember when it was generally believed that black women don't give head), and just all around narrowminded when it comes to sex. Lastly, I recall Black women being defined as matronly, deeply religious and asexual beings.

 

A few men I've been with have been surprised that I have small genitals. All of this comes from ideas that have been passed down from slavery.

 

I have never IR dated before in my life, and never had a white man as a personal acquaintence so this defintely gives me insight into what some white or other non black men may think about black women. if you could go into detail about your experiences with IR dating i'd really appreciate it. We are so often left out in the IR loop--it's always about BM/WW etc.

 

I've always been curious to know the real deal about how other races of men felt about us. like what goes through their head when they see us..ya know?

[Eire1]

By the way tiredofvampires,

I'd read about this once before in a book by Jim Rogers called Adventure Capitalist. He rode around the world in a car reporting on different economic and business opportunities in each country and he stated that this is a new phenomenon going on over there. That there are places in Africa flooded by these wealthy white British women all looking to have sex with young African males. He said in one of these parts all the hotel rooms are booked by lone wealthy white women and you're lucky to get a reservation.

[BronzedSkin123]

Just for the sake or argument and logic...why would white women be intrigued by the size of black men's parts (seeing many hundreds, even thousands of them) if they weren't larger than the white ones they were accustomed to?

 

This took place during the slavery-era, back when White women were not sexually liberated like they are today. Most likely the women had never seen another penis besides their husband, if at all, and to make it even more sensational the men were Black and they were forbidden.

[tiredofvampires]

There's still A LOT of racism in america. Some white men are interested but feel black black women only want black men. A lot of black women feel the same and think that white men won't be attracted to them or would only want them for sex and not a real relationship. There are a lot of factors involved. I think that in other countries more black women date IR because those countries don't have the legacy of slavery and weird ideas about race that the US does.

 

I think this is SO spot-on true. So long as people are afraid of eachother's motives, because of so many bad experiences and negative perceptions that have persisted, (and out-and-out racist sentiments, the type Poe mentioned about white women being "sullied" for having black lovers), the fear of entering in upon a relationship is going to perpetuate the divisions. This is so sad.

 

BTW, aphrodite -- speaking of rock, I love your avatar! Rock on!!!

[Eire1]

This took place during the slavery-era, back when White women were not sexually liberated like they are today. Most likely the women had never seen another penis besides their husband, if at all, and to make it even more sensational the men were Black and they were forbidden.

hmm... I still think white women are excited by the idea that black men are reported to have bigger penises. I don't think it has a thing to do with slavery, since all the young girls I knew back in high school came about a century and a half after slavery.

[tiredofvampires]

I date IR. I've actually only dated white men so far.

 

I also am curious to know why you have not dated within your race (and only white men). By coincidence only, or choice?...

[tiredofvampires]

hmm... I still think white women are excited by the idea that black men are reported to have bigger penises. I don't think it has a thing to do with slavery, since all the young girls I knew back in high school came about a century and a half after slavery.

 

Not to mention, look at all the threads here on ENA where overly-endowed men (race never specified or relevant) are a cause for alarm among a lot of women who are scared of pain (me, included!)

[Happy2bme]

Hi All,

 

Interesting thread I am a black british female and my last 2 long-term relationships were with white guys. I can't speak for the US but in the UK it is very common-place. My ex's didn't have an issue with my colour and I didn't with theirs. There were some 'wow' moments in the relationships where we would discuss stereotypes and that if you don't know any better it can be easy to believe them, to me, all (most) of the stereotypes are attached to people of colour, I never had any wow moments but my partners did about me, my family (who were very welcoming, treated them like family and didn't try to eat them.....sorry couldn't resist a little joke occasionally I have had strange feedback from black women " Oh so it's like that!" or " So you think you're all that....I wouldn't go there" but that's their issues.

With the 1st ex his family were great and it wasn't an issue (well apart from one of his brothers but again he had other issues!) With my most recent ex his dad was great but his mother and sister didn't like it and fed into the stereotypes (once again there were issues with them and to be honest 'no-one was good enough for their little boy!!)

I have been 'chatted-up' many times by white guys with the opening line of 'Mmmm i've never been with a black girl before' my usual response is..."ooo be careful....it might rub off"!!!

[tiredofvampires]

By the way tiredofvampires,

I'd read about this once before in a book by Jim Rogers called Adventure Capitalist. He rode around the world in a car reporting on different economic and business opportunities in each country and he stated that this is a new phenomenon going on over there. That there are places in Africa flooded by these wealthy white British women all looking to have sex with young African males. He said in one of these parts all the hotel rooms are booked by lone wealthy white women and you're lucky to get a reservation.

 

Well, if it is true, then I am wondering how these women deal with the very real issue of the high prevalence of HIV/AIDS in many African nations. I think this is a dangerous game anywhere, but especially many places there.

[Shudder]

is it just me or is it whenever a topic like this surfaces the d*ck size factor HAS to get mentioned?

[amtjrtcet]

I get so frustrated when I read threads like this. I don't understand what the problem is with interracial dating/relationships/marriage?!?! Why on earth should race be a deciding factor when it comes to love? I feel sorry for people who think this way. They are limiting themselves, not to mention its totally ignorant.

 

I've dated many different races. Greek, Hispanic, Italian, Polish,....... I never got a single strange look or stare with anyother man, but I do with my boyfriend who is black. When in reality the other guys were just as racially different from me then he is, EXCEPT the color of their skin. So in my opinion, pathetically, it really is about color.

[Eire1]

Not to mention, look at all the threads here on ENA where overly-endowed men (race never specified or relevant) are a cause for alarm among a lot of women who are scared of pain (me, included!)

Perhaps its those women who help keep us white guys in the game.

 

Just kidding, of course ..

[jerseyangel]

Yes...my last boyfriend was south asian..indian to be exact..it's not taboo but when parents get in the way..it becomes extremely difficult.

[BronzedSkin123]

hmm... I still think white women are excited by the idea that black men are reported to have bigger penises. I don't think it has a thing to do with slavery, since all the young girls I knew back in high school came about a century and a half after slavery.

 

LOL It's a well known documented fact that it came from slavery. I don't know why you think a stereotype has to be relatively new for the current generation to know about it. The reason why your friends are still aware of this stereotype today is because it was constantly perpetuated. Urban legends and myths often get passed down from generation to generation carrying on for centuries even.

[mrmaximum]

Why on earth should race be a deciding factor when it comes to love? I feel sorry for people who think this way. They are limiting themselves, not to mention its totally ignorant.

 

I've dated many different races. Greek, Hispanic, Italian, Polish,....... I never got a single strange look or stare with anyother man, but I do with my boyfriend who is black. When in reality the other guys were just as racially different from me then he is, EXCEPT the color of their skin. So in my opinion, pathetically, it really is about color.

 

My parents never cared who I brought home so long as I was happy and she was upwardly mobile. When I was in school, I IR dated, not because of a specific preference, but mostly due to the fact that the women who paid me the most attention were white. The only 'minorities' who paid me any mind was one black and then one Trinidadian woman. I hear you about the stares and the dissapproval, I got it from both sides, the white parents/grandparents trapped in another time, and the black women who thought I was betraying them. I always shook my head at that because my gf's in highschool approached me, not the other way around and I wasn't a 'thug' by any stretch of the imagination!!

 

One poster made a good point about background being an important factor in the well being of a relationship, how you where raised and what priorities have been instilled in you can make or break future relationships if the cultures clash too much!!

[BronzedSkin123]

could you share with us in detail some of the stereotypes they said about black women?