My SO has a terrible addiction (just found out)

[Poe]

Tough call man... I was in a similar situation myself. I eventually left because I got tired of being lied to. My ex didn't tell me until I pressed the issue. And then I made it an issue. We weren't together as long as you two, but I was annoyed that I didn't know from the start because I don't think she should have the right to usurp my freedom to choose NOT to date a girl with a drug addiction just because she likes me.

 

Anyway, we stayed together... it's not so much the drug addiction that caused the problem, it was everything else that became a problem because of it. Especially the lies. Eventually she made it very easy for me to walk away.

[Momene]

I've only half followed this thread but posting e-mails is a cry for help. Personally, I find it much easier to post problems on a board because if I confide in family or friends if/when I have problems with my wife, there's always the chance they'll let things slip.

 

If my wife discovered if I'd been taking drugs, I'd be thrown out the door in a flash. I've never taken anything BTW.

[chitown]

A special reply to Postergirl....

 

Postergirl, she is not on this board... as a matter of fact none of her friends want her to get help and I am the only person that is trying to set a course of action for her.

 

Perhaps her right to complete anonymity outweighs the fact that she has a serious drug problem. I am not so certain. I do know that I am the ONLY person in her life that even wants ther to get help. (Both her parents are addicts, her brother and all her friends also)

 

Forgive my breach of boyfriend/girlfriend conduct, but I have no one else in her life to turn to, and I am trying to determine what is best for me and decide if she is really ready for help. I certainly cannot rely on her to be forthcoming now can I?

 

The feedback I have gotten from everyone regarding her emails has been very educational not only to the course of action I should take, but to her mindset and where she is at.

 

 

She is not going to get better unless she realizes the hard reality of what she is doing and the consequences to herself and the people that love her.

 

Since this is all anonymous anyway, I think that a few shared emails is a small price to pay if it ends up saving her life.

[Timebandit]

 

OR.....perhaps you are right and I should just drop it and pretend like we live in candyland.

 

I know you are under a lot of emotional pressure, but at least try to keep a respectable tone on this forum.

[chitown]

You are right timebandit, my apologies to all.

[crosstownTraffic]

You know chitown, addicts act bizarre cuz they are addicts. Drugs don't make you think clearly, and it's commonplace for an addict to lie about their addiction.

It's not called addiction for nothing. It's something you can be sure she has been strugglingwith for quite some time.

If you really love her, then stand by her, if you think you guys have a fighting chance. If not, don't bother trying.

It's gonna be a rough road for awhile, don't fool yourself, but there are lots of people who have stuck by their lovers who are addicts and came out the better for it.

Didn't Keith Urban have to go into a drug recovery program like the first 3 months of his marriage? I doubt he had told Nicole Kidman he's have to do that before they got married.

Addictions make you lie, it's just a fact, it's got nothign to do with you, or respect to you. They lie to everyone, themselves, their families, their lover, their bosses.

Praying will help.. but I agree that she probably won't be successful at this unless she goes into some kind of rehab program where she's got support 24/7. It takes a BIG effort to get over an addiction.