click-click-boom Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 I need somebody. Not just anybody. You know I need someone. Beatles aside, I am in need of some advice. Today at work, I visited the gift wrap counter where a cute girl by the name of Siobhan (pronounced Shuh-vahn) works. We had quite the conversation and I felt like there was a little flirty-flirty. Just the usual light stuff. After a few minutes I picked up a piece of wrapping paper and folded it in half, white side facing out. On one side I drew a stick-figure rendition of her with her name under it. On the other side I wrote "Dinner?" The phone rang and as she answered it I placed the paper drawing side up, smiled at her, and began to walk away. She rushed to hang up and asked me where I was going and I smiled at her again and waved. After I had walked out she look at it and went "Awwwwe! How cute!" Then she turned it over and I heard "Oooo. Dinner, eh?" By then I had walked out of earshot and went back downstairs to work. On her lunch break she came down and was talking to me and another co-worker of mine named Daniel. They were talking when I walked over and Siobhan said, "Hey! What are you doing next Friday? You should come to the Laugh Factory with us! It'll be like dinner and a show!" She smiled and I accepted. It looks like it will be me, Siobhan, Daniel, Siobhan's close friend and her boyfriend, and the boyfriend's sister. This is where you guys on eNotAlone come in. I am posting this because I need to know what the deal is here. Obviously none of you know her and couldn't possibly tell me what she is thinking, but I need some advice. Is it just coincidence that she asked me to dinner and a show not long after I asked her to dinner? How should I act? What should I wear? I'm really nervous. Link to comment
Jeffrey2095 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Uhhhh... It sounds great guy. The Laugh Factory on Sunset eh? I would wear a nice sport coat with maybe an unusual tie... More casual than dressy. Are you going to Greenblatt's before for an aparatiff? Say hello to Jamie for me. Jeffr Link to comment
Phaser Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Hmm does this Daniel guy like her? Link to comment
click-click-boom Posted November 26, 2007 Author Share Posted November 26, 2007 Uhhhh... It sounds great guy. The Laugh Factory on Sunset eh? I would wear a nice sport coat with maybe an unusual tie... More casual than dressy. Are you going to Greenblatt's before for an aparatiff? Say hello to Jamie for me. Jeffr What's Greenblatt's? I take it from your response you're familiar with the place. And who's Jamie? Hmm does this Daniel guy like her? And no on that one. Daniel has a girl that he's been seeing for almost a year and he's pretty committed to her. He sees Siobhan as more of a friend. Of course, I am taking his word on all of this but I don't see a reason for him to lie. If he liked her he'd tell me. Right? Right? Link to comment
Phaser Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Well it looks good I guess. Maybe she though a one on one dinner would be too awkward at this stage. Link to comment
click-click-boom Posted November 26, 2007 Author Share Posted November 26, 2007 Well it looks good I guess. Maybe she though a one on one dinner would be too awkward at this stage. Ah. That makes perfect sense. Mucho thanks to you, Phaser, and the others who helped out. It is much appreciated. I'm still a little nervous, but I guess I'll just stick to being myself. People are supposed to like you for who you are, right? Link to comment
click-click-boom Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 Well, I found out today that what I thought was a date is actually not. No worries though. Thank you again to all who gave a bit of advice. It is greatly appreciated. Link to comment
Phaser Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Oh, that sucks. What happened? Link to comment
Papillion Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 aww thats a shame. whats the deal? Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 The stick figure dinner invitation isn't my style, I prefer to to ask face to face or at least over the phone, but it seemed to work out okay for you so here's the deal. Go out with them and have a blast. Joke with everyone, tease her, give her a little sh_t here or there, and then at the end of the night get her phone number. If you have it already great. After the show, ask her to do something, just the two of you. Perhaps out miniature golfing, bowling, or out to a bar (if under 21-get sodas). Somewhere the two of you can joke, tease each other, and have a good time. Here's the kicker... all of your ACTIONS with her should be you guiding this towards dating... by asking her out, going out, teasing, flirting, going for a kiss, etc... but you NEVER TALK about your feelings for her, discuss relationships, discuss the two of you, etc if you can avoid it. Even if she brings up relaitonships, change the subject. If she asks what the two of you are, say that you are interested in her and that's it. Don't go into any more details. Say you are interested in her and that you like going out and having a good time and that you are interested to see where it goes. Don't discuss how much you like her or anything like that. If she asks, tease her about it or give her an obnoxious joking answer. The point is that so many guys ruin it by going too fast with emotional attachment or they reveal too much too soon and either kill the mystery or become "conquered territory" for her... which is not good when she is still BUILDING attraction to you. The only time it is a safe bet to reveal your level of attraction is when you're exclusive with her and in a relationship... likely a few months in or more. If you reveal too much and it turns out that you are actually ahead of where she feels... then you will have turned her off. So let your actions do all of the speaking for you. Actions are less likely to send any bad signals than your mouth will. So with your actions guide everything forward, dates, flirting, kissing, sex, etc and keep the trapper shut on the relaitonship stuff. Before you know it you will find yourself IN a relationship. Link to comment
click-click-boom Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 MUCHO thanks to Diggity for the advice. I'll keep all of that in mind. It turns out that she's attracted to older men. She's 19 but she likes to date 30 year olds. She said she still likes having a lot of friends, which is fine by me. She's a cool cat, and I'm excited for the Laugh Factory. However, something truly positive came out of this. When I was searching for the tickets on TicketMaster I found out that The Laugh Factory is having a show on December 12 starring Jon Lovitz. My father loves him and it happens to be my father's birthday on the 12th. So I'm taking him to see Jon Lovitz! I guess that doesn't sound very exciting for anybody reading this, but considering my and my father's history together it's quite the accomplishment. Link to comment
Phaser Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 What a strange person (not saying that age gap relationships are weird but that fact she prefers it) It reminds of people who are like 15-16 dating 18 year olds cause they are more 'mature' Link to comment
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