Driving myself nuts

[glimmerofhope]

I was just curious...how many others are out there other than me, home alone of a friggin' Saturday night, driving themselves nuts with thoughts of what the ex might be up to right now?

[orangesoda]

Happens to me at times, not just Saturday nights. Hell, it can happen to me in a crowded restaurant, in the middle of dinner with friends. Just happens I guess.

 

But it's not unusual. Don't fight it, just have the thought, then get back to watching TV or doing something else. Given time, you'll think about it less and less. So don't go crazy, keep busy, you will be alright.

 

(I tell myself this all the time, and it helps to some degree. Be easy Glimmer).

[Konfetkette]

I'm doing the very same thing right now

[Jayar]

I am, but only because I am praying he is anywhere in the world as long as he is okay. I'd rather have him be okay and not in love with me anymore, than have him be somewhere in love with me, but not be okay.

[Kitty Cat]

I'm home alone on a Saturday night also....just had a bottle of red wine and hoping my ex is thinking of me.... take care.

[hopefulromantic79]

I was just at my high school reunion..and while it should've been a happy event, I was just looking around at all my old classmates who are married, with sig. others and I felt so horrible! So it felt like being along on a Saturday night, honestly. These days I enjoy my own company more than anybody else's...I just don't want to be hurt again...and trust in anyone who tells me they love me. It just hurts so bad to know that the one person I did love did not love me in return

[need2bme]

Jayar: LOVE the AV!!! AWESOME!!!

 

Glimmer: We all feel like that brother. I could not sleep Thursday night and I was visiting my kids. I shoulda been happy and sleeping like a baby, right?

 

NOT! I spent the evening looking at her texts and her pic, until I could fall asleep. I tell you this to let you know that I know how it feels brother,...

 

...but...

 

I am really getting tired of the fact that she basically owns my ass and this is getting real old, real quick. I love her and want nothing less than for her to have a wonderful life.

 

However, she already has hers and now I am giving her mine. She has no right to mine. I want it back...

 

Now, if I can just keep stepping forward...

[glimmerofhope]

You took the words right out of my mouth, N2BM. I was once, not so long ago, a pretty confident SOB. Objectively speaking, I think it's safe to say I'm a fit, reasonably attractive, well-educated man in his prime. Given that, I know I have options, if I can just move past this!

 

Unfortunately, it seems to be two steps forward and one step back for me. That seems to be my modus operandi so far. Slowly, but surely. The steps back drive me up a wall, though.

[-BK-]

You took the words right out of my mouth, N2BM. I was once, not so long ago, a pretty confident SOB. Objectively speaking, I think it's safe to say I'm a fit, reasonably attractive, well-educated man in his prime. Given that, I know I have options, if I can just move past this!

 

Unfortunately, it seems to be two steps forward and one step back for me. That seems to be my mocus operandi so far. Slowly, but surely. The steps back drive me up a wall, though.

 

Here, here. I'm not sure of your exact situation, glimmerofhope, but I feel the same. I can remember just a month ago when I was myself -- confident, doing well with life, and enjoying things. We do have options, and it's frustrating, but we also need the time to grieve a little and heal. I, for one, would like to be ready when I meet the next great girl. I don't want to be hung up on the ex; we know how that goes. I know how it goes on BOTH sides of that situation. It's not fair to the rebound.

 

I had a pretty bad Thanksgiving, but today wasn't horrible (I can't believe I just said that). Those "one step back" days can feel like you haven't made any progress, but think about how you felt 2 weeks ago... or however long it's been. Things ARE getting better. Oh, I'm obviously home tonight.

[AutumnBorn]

Glimmer, you're not alone. Well, you are alone, but I'm with you...Watching White Christmas on DVR. Told the ex I had plans after he failed to ask me out in advance. In fact, I did have plans - to get a chicken sandwhich, buy dog food, and come home to watch a movie. After that, I've got a book to read.

 

Anybody else in the Seattle area want to spend next Saturday having a b*tchfest? I've got some Beaujoulais Primeur that needs to be consumed before the beginning of the year. Maybe that's what we need. Heartbreak Meetups. We can call it Damage Control Meetings.

[browneyedgirl36]

^^ I too am sitting at home on Saturday night, letting the mind wander to what the ex is doing.

 

Totally unproductive. One of these days, though, I'll get sick of it and stop doing it. Here's hoping that day will come sooner than later.

[CatsMeeoow]

Even though you are curious and wondering please pat yourself on the back! You still have restraint.

 

Me - I'll breakdown and send an email just to know if he was home to read it.

 

I'm determined to break away from this path!!!! I don't want to call or email or text or anything anymore until after the holidays.... if he contacts me... I'm not going to respond until after the holidays.

 

Last xmas eve was the most special night we ever shared as a couple... That day will be tough for me but I will get through. And, I know he's not heartless he will think of it too but just not as much as me.

 

Hang in There!!!

[-BK-]

Anybody else in the Seattle area want to spend next Saturday having a b*tchfest? I've got some Beaujoulais Primeur that needs to be consumed before the beginning of the year. Maybe that's what we need. Heartbreak Meetups. We can call it Damage Control Meetings.

 

This is actually a great idea. It's something I had thought of as well. AutumnBorn, maybe you should start a new thread about putting together a little group. I am in Los Angeles, so I can't join you... but maybe a group in LA would be fun. Then again, maybe it would just depress me listening to how sad we all are.

[need2bme]

Anybody else in the Seattle area want to spend next Saturday having a b*tchfest? I've got some Beaujoulais Primeur that needs to be consumed before the beginning of the year. Maybe that's what we need. Heartbreak Meetups. We can call it Damage Control Meetings.

 

That is too funny. ;-) Don't make me drive to Seattle.

 

Seriously though, I just gotta make plans and then do it.

 

Glimmer: I just posted in another thread about being with quite a few girls that my friends wanted to date, but they chose me and yet here I am, just letting this girl own me and feeling like I am nothing, when I know I am a catch. Weird.

 

BK: I think it is as you say, it is just gonna take time to heal.

[need2bme]

This is actually a great idea. It's something I had thought of as well. AutumnBorn, maybe you should start a new thread about putting together a little group. I am in Los Angeles, so I can't join you... but maybe a group in LA would be fun. Then again, maybe it would just depress me listening to how sad we all are.

 

Yeah, but think about how much fun it would be to go, "Really? Man, my girl/guy did exactly the same thing!!!"

[-BK-]

Glimmer: I just posted in another thread about being with quite a few girls that my friends wanted to date, but they chose me and yet here I am, just letting this girl own me and feeling like I am nothing, when I know I am a catch. Weird.

 

BK: I think it is as you say, it is just gonna take time to heal.

 

I read that post, need2bme, and I thought of something. Please don't take this thought as any kind of advice, or me saying that I know what I'm talking about. I just wanted to share. Is it possible that you were caught up in the excitement of "winning" the girl over your friends that you failed to look at some of her flaws that weren't right for you? The only reason I'm saying this is because I'm self-reflecting quite a bit about this last relationship and some of my others to really figure out what I could be doing better to find the right one for me. We've all been hurt, but I also think we all have some responsibility in our successes and failures.

 

I'm so sick of hearing about TIME! We all know it's true, but it's hard when you're having a bad day.

[orangesoda]

Haha BK, how funny because I was thinking the same thing.

 

I too am in Los Angeles and wondered if anyone on the boards was from this area and wouldn't mind getting together once in a while to share thoughts and feel some companionship through our hard times.

 

The offer still stands though! I am by the Westside area and wouldn't mind find a quiet place to chat over food/drinks.

[need2bme]

I read that post, need2bme, and I thought of something. Please don't take this thought as any kind of advice, or me saying that I know what I'm talking about. I just wanted to share. Is it possible that you were caught up in the excitement of "winning" the girl over your friends that you failed to look at some of her flaws that weren't right for you? The only reason I'm saying this is because I'm self-reflecting quite a bit about this last relationship and some of my others to really figure out what I could be doing better to find the right one for me. We've all been hurt, but I also think we all have some responsibility in our successes and failures.

 

I'm so sick of hearing about TIME! We all know it's true, but it's hard when you're having a bad day.

 

BK: AMEN! Totally. I mentioned all that in the context of knowing that I have qualities that women and people in general, like to be around, so I need to hang up the insecurities.

 

As for picking the wrong women, oh hell yeah. I ALWAYS pick someone who is emotionally unavailable or needs rescuing.

 

Now as far as introspection goes, oh I am way ahead on that. I analyze it all. Mostly, I am realizing that it wasn't all me and I do need to change some things.

 

We will get there...