Parenting while divorced/Different Styles

[Metallica Lightning]

My ex-wife and I try to maintain a stable enviornment for both of our children. We have a good relationship, we're both financially secure, and we even take family vacations together.

 

However...

 

My wife and I have very different styles of parenting within our respective homes. I'm have a more relaxed style and I'm not strict on much outside of education, drugs and such, and overall behavior. I don't really care what my kids dress like as long as it isn't disgusting or offensive. I let them have their hair the way they want to. Curfew under my watch is 11:30 pm on school days, and 3:00 am on free days. Basically I just allow my kids to be themselves at home. I let them sit on the couch during meals, I could care less if they held a fork the right way, placed a napkin in their lap, or belched after a big swig of coke.

 

My ex-wife however is a social conservatist and parents that way too. Well saying that is an understatement, my ex-wife builds her life around it. She tries to force my son to play football, wear certain clothes, cut his hair, etc..

I have no say in how she parents, but she is starting to call me and has begun telling me to do the same thing.

I'm obviously not interested in what she has t osay about my parenting because as far as I'm concerned my son is fine, and our daughter turned out fine too.

 

Is there any civil way I can resolve this?

 

Kane

[Gracelove]

Oooo!!! There is a great book by M. Gary Newman on this subject.

You should by it. He was on Oprah, and he is soooo freakin amazing!!! Gifted, if you ask me.

[CatsMeeoow]

You know your kids will do fine! Believe it or not they are very adaptive.

 

I have the ex from hell... he and his new wife do really weird controlling things with my kid... My son hates being there longer than 2 days at a time but he has finally learned to manage two days (took years to accomplish this.) One of the things they do to him is make him change his clothes when he gets there to things they bought for him and then right before I pick him up they make him change into what he was wearing when they picked him up. Weird... but my son has adapted. At his age he probably thinks all dads do this to their kids. His dad has gone over a year without a single word to me... used to write these letters to my dad if he had anything to say which was usually nothing.

 

At least you and your wife communicate in front of your kids. That means to them that you will become a united front in face of a true crisis! In the meantime you be comfortable with your kids the way you want and let your wife conduct the life she wants. Your kids will take away the importance of both... Face it we all need a little of Formal and Informal in our lives.

 

Good Luck