gravity Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 Two days ago, the ex of a woman i have been dating for a few months was reading the texts on her phone when he found some messages we have been exchanging. he now knows that we have been seeing each other(something he previously suspected) and is furious. She never wanted him to find out and we have been keeping our relationship on the DL. She and I work at the same job, but in different departments. He works in the building next door. now he's mad at her, and told her he is out to get me. He is a pretty emotionally unstable guy, they broke up over 4 years ago, and he recently just broke up with his 17 year old GF, (he is 30) and has since been trying to get back together with her. The first thing he did was tell the gossips at our work. Second, he called our boss, and attempted to get us fired for having a workplace relationship (She is a manger, I'm not, but we don't ever see each other there) That evening, he came to work while she was there to confront her, and was asked to leave by our boss. but not before threatening more confrontation with both of us, both at work and outside. I'm pretty sure he physically abused her while they were together, and am worried he might come after her. The kicker of it all is that we don't even have a serious relationship! Yet i don't think he'd believe it if we told him. basically i'm looking for advise on what to do about this creep Link to comment
vinnee Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 When and if he confronts you, punch him in the throat and check his coat for a gun (you can do this because he will be on the ground trying to breath). Take it with you if you find one and go directly to the police station to file a report. He won't feel up to pursuing this issue with you after that. Link to comment
sti_2004 Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 call the cops and tell them he hangs around high schools preying inexperienced teens. Link to comment
gravity Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 he knows what i look like, but not where i live (hopefully). good idea sti Link to comment
gravity Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 he knows what i look like, but not where i live, i hope. good idea sti unfortunately tasers and mace are illegal here . . . but a mace might work well regardless, get a little medieval of him. Link to comment
moxi_crimefighter Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 When and if he confronts you, punch him in the throat and check his coat for a gun (you can do this because he will be on the ground trying to breath). Take it with you if you find one and go directly to the police station to file a report. He won't feel up to pursuing this issue with you after that. i agree pounch in the troat hahahaha!!!! Link to comment
need2bme Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 I don't condone violence by any means ( I believe there is always an "out" ), but when I was asked if I knew how big my ex's ex was and was told he was a big guy... my response was always, "a punch in the throat or a kick in the knees buckle a big guy just the same". But, getting back to not having to resort to that; does she have a restraining order? I wouldn't want to be hassled by anyone and you know that this guy is gonna keep on, until something happens, good or bad. Link to comment
gravity Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 she would never get a restraining order due to the fact that they have two kids together, the only reason they interact is for thier sake. I wish i could punch him in the neck, but he's got at least 2 chins i'd have to get under! Link to comment
sti_2004 Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 I wish i could punch him in the neck, but he's got at least 2 chins i'd have to get under! aaaahahaha. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 I do not think i could stay with anyone who had such an abusive ex who refused to get a restraining order. No, couldn't do it. Link to comment
gravity Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 I do not think i could stay with anyone who had such an abusive ex who refused to get a restraining order. No, couldn't do it. that's the irony of it, i'm not "with" her. we're friends/ FWB. we both agreed that neither of us wanted a serious relationship, but HE made it something serious. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 that's the irony of it, i'm not "with" her. we're friends/ FWB. we both agreed that neither of us wanted a serious relationship, but HE made it something serious. Well if you are only FWB's i'd bail. It's not worth it. Link to comment
gravity Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 i'm leaning towards bailing, but so long as we're even friends, he'll be pissed. plus i don't want to give him the satisfaction. Link to comment
vinnee Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 she would never get a restraining order due to the fact that they have two kids together, the only reason they interact is for thier sake. I wish i could punch him in the neck, but he's got at least 2 chins i'd have to get under! I'm not saying you shouldn't avoid him if at all possible. But if you need to defend yourself, a good tap in the throat works. His double chin will only serve to keep you from doing real harm. It doesn't take real force to have an effect; I'm pretty small & have lived in some sketchy areas, so this has served me well. If you are relatively around the same size as him (disregarding blubber) and you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO defend yourself, don't put your all into it. If you haul off and whack him full on this way, you stand to deal some serious damage. I wanted to clarify this for safety. I want you to have the ability to preserve yourself and be able to go report the incident unharmed. If you crush his trachea, it won't matter that he confronted you first. It sounds silly, but go ahead and give a bit of a chop at your own throat to gage what the effect is or find a friend willing to let you spar around this way. We all should be able to defend ourselves when we have to, but understand that you CAN really damage someone, no matter how justified you are in the moment. I use this to defend myself because being as small as I am, I don't have the weight to back a regular punch effectively enough to provide a chance to run away and this method levels the playing field and provides me with that chance. If this is a real worry to you, you might want to go to your police dept anyway to report that this guy has voiced threats. That way when/if it comes down to it, you have that backing your actions. And true, if you leave this friendship with his ex, he might still be angry; might even take it as a show of weakness and he DOES sound like a bully to have been violent with women. But don't let what you decide to do be fueled by pride or a want to "not give him the satisfaction". He isn't anyone to you so what satisfaction he might find in you backing out of the picture shouldn't be important either. Link to comment
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