mixed signals!

[suebob1]

Hi,

Not sure if I am just being naive or am just reading the signals all wrong? I work with a younger guy at work, well i am his supervisor. It all started last year at our christmas do. He is a 23 year old guy talks as though he is alot older but sometimes acts his actual age if you know what I mean, i am 31 by the way! I started at the firm in august and within a few months a few people used to tease and say that he had a thing for me just by the way we argued and snapped at each other (still do) at the time people at work did not know that I had split with my now ex! At the xmas do me and the 23yr old didnt talk much up until later that night when we moved on to a club, some of the others we were with went dancing and i was with thia guy it seemed like he was wanting to look after me, he was where ever I went at the end of the night a few of us went back to his for so called drinks! Then they left and i was left we sat and chatted then he made a move on me, nothing other than a kiss but form then on it has been weird. Every so often after that we flirted when we were out, although out separately he would text and we would arrange to meet up but i always thought he was playing games, thsi has gone on for months now.At work we still argue and joke around and many people say we are like a married couple, he isthe type of guy that is not shy until he is out of work? One time he rang me and said he was coming round but as I was out with my mate I told him she would be there as well then he went all funny and made out that I would rather be with her? When ever there is a chance soemthing could happen we always end up arguing! I feel like a silly teenager as I just dont understand if he likes me or not. I was hurt badly by my ex and think he has been hurt in the past and he has not had a girlfriend or anything since! any ideas anyone?

Thanks!!

[Cassie]

Hi Suebob, hmm, so let me see. He kissed you when alcohol was involved, rings you randomly to tease you - yet hasn't addressed the kiss or made an effort to formally ask you out?

 

And what exactly are you two always arguing about when you do spend time together?

[Entropy Smith]

He likes you but is scared to make a move...the arguing shows there is a strong emotion there that can easily be turned to/relieved by passion...if its just a fling for you though be warned...guys like him will turn into stalkers once you start getting it on and then try to let him down easy...

[Batya33]

He likes flirting and casually hanging out/hooking up but he is not interested in dating you. This could change and what also could happen is a lawsuit since you supervise him and others have noticed such that the environment at work probably isn't too professional.

[Gratsy]

He may or may not like you. You have to wait to see if he asks you out. If he doesn't, don't try anything b/c working with him would be awkward.

[suebob1]

Thank u all very much for your replies! The atmosphere which we work in is not unpofessional at all! The arguments are just really over silly things it just seems its only me he seems to be like this with! We are due to go out on works do next week so will just see how things go, neither of us really want anyone knowing things at the moment it is just how people see things!

I do like him alot but I think he maybe too young, neither of us want a serious relationship just some fun. At work I am his supervisor but out of work has nothing to do with in work! easier sadi possibly!

I sometimes think he just thinks I am winding him up, as i said i dont think he has had a girlfriend or a fling for a long time he just isnt confident out of work?

[Batya33]

Where I am from it is playing with fire - risking all sorts of problems, damages, lawsuits, for a supervisor to hit on an employee including others that see this going on (they can complain too).

 

As far as whether he is "shy" in these situations I initially assume that if a man is interested and availablein dating me (as opposed to just flirting, being friends, etc) he will ask me out. My guess is that your employee may be interested but is not available because he works for you and, unlike you, realizes the risks and does not want to take those risks.

[ghost69]

he's young, your coworker, your employee, etc. too many bad things here.

[Gratsy]

I've been in a similar situation. Its better to start viewing him as a friend/employee before you get emotional over something that is too much of a risk for a LOT of reasons.