anita sandwich Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 So I'm curious about something... I was out of town for a month for my job, thus away from my boyfriend...and I ended up talking to him about masturbation and he tells me that he doesn't do it. He says that when he's not having sex with me, he takes his frustrations out at the gym. He is in the military and he said that when he gets deployed, sex is not allowed, so he is used to just coping with the frustration... Ok, I understand if it was like a week...but I was gone for an entire month...and I am leaving for a few months next time and he said that he will maintain the same routine. Do you think this is for real? I just find it very strange because I have a lot of male friends and I've learned from them, that when men are not in a sexual relationship, they will often masturbate on a daily basis... maybe military men are different? or maybe my man doesn't have a high drive? What do you guys think? Any insight is helpful =) Link to comment
someguy88 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 hahahahaha he's full of it. Military guys aren't any different from civies. His whole spiel about sex not being allowed is hilarious. I mean, really, if a guy wants to rub one off he'll find a way. It sounds like he's just putting on some sort of show of his 'manly discipline' for you. It's not that hard not to jerk off when you're in the field with a bunch of guys. It doesn't take discipline not to jerk off in that situation. lol Link to comment
anita sandwich Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 really? so when i'm out of town, you think he'll wack it like any normal man? I wonder why he would lie about such a stupid thing... Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 He's lying because he's ashamed of it. And that's too bad, because he's obviously got a very understanding and openminded GF who accepts him and his normal sexual needs. It's a shame he can't be honest with you about that, and it makes me wonder what else he is keeping from you. It's a red flag. Link to comment
Adrian28 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 really? so when i'm out of town, you think he'll wack it like any normal man? I wonder why he would lie about such a stupid thing... Well, now there is a school of thought where guys try to stop themselves from masturbating to preserve their testosterone. When you masturbate, you lose testosterone in your sperm. Preserving testosterone makes a guy more aggressive, edgy and yes, it will help you with your work outs as well. Personally, I try to minimize how much I masturbate. When I do masturbate, I usually try to stop myself before I ejaculate. I find this makes me much more sexual and "ready to go" when I am with a girl. So, I don't necessarily think he is lying about it. HOWEVER, here is the big red flag in your case. After a month of no sex and no masturbation, I would be hard as rock 24 hours a day. But, in your man's case, he is having trouble with his erections. So, those two things don't seem to add up. Link to comment
la5t13 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Does it bother you if he masturbates? I doubt he would ever do it in replace of you, if you guys care about each other..but I think its just one of those things guys do and don't like to talk about. Link to comment
KG Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I would imagine in the military, with so much stress, orders, command and discipline, it might be difficult to find a nice safe, warm cozy place to do that. I like to be under sheets, alone doors closed, with all of the privacy in the world. I'm sure that's a far cry from what he has. So yeah, he may be telling the truth! Link to comment
anita sandwich Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 hmm ok, thanks for the help guys. this boyfriend of mine is definitely confusing and stressing me out. .. I definitely don't care whether he masturbates or not...that's silly. I was under the impression that all guys did it regularly, whether they have a gf or not. whatever...I masturbate pretty frequently, so it would be pretty hypocritical to judge other people for doing the same thing... Link to comment
Zackinlaw Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I think your question was a little unfair ... all guys with healthy sex drives masturbate when deprived of the real thing for a prolonged period of time. But guys usually don't like to brag about it, and for some reason, are a bit ashamed of it!!! So you'll almost never hear him say "Hey honey, while we were apart for a month, I tossed off almost every day thinking about you!!!" Zack. Link to comment
anita sandwich Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 lol I don't expect him to say anything like that... He was asking me if I was masturbating while I was away...so of course I then asked him the same question...doesn't seem out of line to me. Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I don't think the question was unfair either, but I'm sure the guy is lying because he is ashamed to admit it. Link to comment
Adrian28 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 lol I don't expect him to say anything like that... He was asking me if I was masturbating while I was away...so of course I then asked him the same question...doesn't seem out of line to me. HE brought the topic up, so I would assume that he would be ok discussing it with you. Even if he didn't admit to masturbating, he could have said something like.. "I didn't masturbate, but I was hard all day thinking about you." Are you having any luck with your other issue? Link to comment
anita sandwich Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 adrian, yeah, that would have been great if he said something like that. But he never does... well actually, I left on a trip recently so there hasn't been much time for improvement in that area. But...the worst thing ever...the night before my flight, he would not even have sex with me!!! He was just sitting in front of the tv, drinking beer, and I walked over to him wearing almost nothing and he just said "what are you doing, baby?"...and that was it...i think he put his arm around me... I could not believe that. That was our last night together... =( Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I don't Masturbate, never saw a use or need for it (I'm anti-sexual if that helps any). Link to comment
anita sandwich Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 how can one be anti-sexual? Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 For me, the roots of it are becuase my father sexually abused me for years as a child, so anytihng having to do with sex or touching myself never really enters my mind, and when someone talks to me about it I'm semi-disgusted or just indifferent. Masturbating itself, to me, seems kinda sad (this is my personal view) to just wack off to pictures or thoughts, but that's jsut me, I don't see anything worthwhile about it (or sex). Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 For me, the roots of it are becuase my father sexually abused me for years as a child, so anytihng having to do with sex or touching myself never really enters my mind, and when someone talks to me about it I'm semi-disgusted or just indifferent. Masturbating itself, to me, seems kinda sad (this is my personal view) to just wack off to pictures or thoughts, but that's jsut me, I don't see anything worthwhile about it (or sex). That's very sad. I should send you a couple of my favorite clips. That might change your mind. Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 That's very sad. I should send you a couple of my favorite clips. That might change your mind. Rofl, it's okay, I don't need any. Link to comment
Shiranai Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 He's full of it! Military guys have sex/masturbates so much most of them top most normal guys. They have a lot of frustration in their lives that they have to deal with one way or another. Technically porn is not allowed in their camps or ships or whatever, but people find ways to bring those in. I used to mail my bf porn when he's deployed. He also tells me a lot of guys tell their gf/wives they don't masturbate, but everyone does it. They can do it in the shower, when they're in the bathroom, in their bed... one time he walked in on his supervisor masturbating... Your bf seems ashamed of the masturbation or afraid of how you'll react, so cut him some slack on the lying part. Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Reminds me of a story...happened on a military base somewhere in a desert. A new captain is assigned to the base, and the first thing he says when he takes command, is "where are the women at?". So a private steps forward and whispers in his ear..."Sir, no women, but the camels come on Friday!". So the Captain waits until Friday, and sure enough, a bunch of camels are brought into the camp and tied up under a tent. That night, when no one seems to be making any moves to do anything, the Captain sneaks over to the tent where the camels are, drops his pants, and starts f*cking a camel. All of a sudden the lights come on, and there are a bunch of soldiers there, including the private who told the Captain about the camels. He says, "Sir, the camels are here to take us into town so we can get the women!" Link to comment
MargaretK Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I don't think your BF is lying and I don't think there is anything wrong with him. My partner went about two months straight without masturbating (this was before I met him and no he is not a military man). He said he doesn't see the point. He wasn't lying about it because he openly tells me when he does masturbate he isn't ashamed of it. Occasionally he goes a week or two without doing it now... hell I haven't had to masturbate since I met him almost three months ago, does that make me a freak? I think it is typical of this forum to jump on the "he is different to your average man so he must be lying" bandwagon. All men are different and have different needs. There is absolutely no rule or proof that a man has to masturbate a certain amount of times a day a week or month to certify him as a normal masculine man with no issues. Pretty narrow minded of you all. Link to comment
valiantv Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Hey Anita I hope just because you read it here it doesn't mean you automatically believe he's lying! The people on here could be wrong you know and maybe he really doesn't! Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Hey Anita I hope just because you read it here it doesn't mean you automatically believe he's lying! The people on here could be wrong you know and maybe he really doesn't! I agree here. Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 I think it is typical of this forum to jump on the "he is different to your average man so he must be lying" bandwagon. All men are different and have different needs. There is absolutely no rule or proof that a man has to masturbate a certain amount of times a day a week or month to certify him as a normal masculine man with no issues. Pretty narrow minded of you all. Good point. I learned something new today! Now it's time for me to go masturbate. Link to comment
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