so confused and hurt

[esant]

Ok, this is long. I'll bring up my main points. I guess im looking for reassurance that I dont deserve this.

 

My ex and I were together for about 10 months. We definitely had a rough start because he was just getting out of a relationship of 6 years and they were engaged. He broke up with her. Things were pretty good for a while and then he started playing games. I had finals (i'm in law school) and he was mad that I wouldn't go out and drink as much as he wanted to. He is 27, works 3 days a week cooking in a crappy little bar, and thinks he should drink 4-5 nights a week. I guess this should have been something to leave when I found out from the getgo.

 

So Jan, me and my mom were in a car accident. I called and told him we were going to the hospital in an ambulance. Instead of going to the hospital, he went out with his friends to get wings. We tried to work though it and then he started with myspace crap. I had knee surgery in February and he played this "i need to figure things out". I found out he was talking to another girl, supposedly only a friend, behind my back. He didnt come to the hospital, come visit me, or even try t see me after surgery but he was telling that other girl she was pretty to make her feel better about herself. She was sick and he was offering to take her soup.

 

So after all this.. yes it continues.. I should have listened to everyone and walked away but i cared too much... He races his car.. I had knee surgery (on the other knee) and he drags me to the track the day after surgery because he was worried about missing racing. Now, I understand his passion for racing, but he doesnt do it professionally, its a hobby. So needless to say, I busted the incisions open on my knee and ended up having to go to the doctor and my knee never did heal properly. Things go ok for a while then he starts getting mad that I wont go sit in the bar everynight.. And he didnt want to do anything other then go out with his friends.. He never wanted to just spend time together with me..

 

So we are fighing back and forth and he's obsessed with myspace. so after the whole other girl incident who he met on myspace I am a little skeptical. Random girls start popping up. i asked him who they were and he is like "friends" but he doesnt know them. If he supposedly loves me so much that he cant lose me then why does he HAVE to make friends with every other girl? We bickered back and forth about it because he gets mad over me being friends with guys so its only fair. So my birthday rolls around, school starts back up. Which after all of his drama I really dont even know how I passed and somehow within the top half of the class (im proud of that at least lol). My birthday comes, we are trying to fix things and talk stuff out so I dont make plans on my bday because he keeps telling me he wants to do something special. So i sit at home only to find out he's at the bar with his friends and never does see me or even get me a card.

 

We talk a few weeks later, his birthday was in September and end up trying to work things out again. I got him a ps2 game andspent his birthday with him. We ended up in an argument because we were supposed to go out together to celebrate our birthdays and he ditched me and went with his friends..

 

Now recently he's been trying to talk me into giving him a chance that he loves me and is lost without me..and he's looking for a real job.. etc etc..

 

I check his myspace (myspace is evil!) and find a blog he wrote. I'll copy and paste in case anyone wants to read it..

 

"And it sucks. If you know me you know what I am talking about and I only hope she is feeling some sorrow like I am. Life has been very hard this year and I was in denial for a long while and had to be a tough guy and so did she. It just really sucks we had to be so immarture on both of our parts to throw away almost 6 years of being best friends for nothing we couldnt have worked through. We had both lost and gained so much in those years and the one thing we both gained was Pride and it came back to haunt us both. I was too proud to admit I was wrong that I messed up and wanted to make it work no matter what and she was too proud to stay single and admit she loved me and was hurt so bad she needed me to prove I felt the same.

 

I took things she said literally the last time I talked to her and tried to move on with my life. Brittany stayed here that night and I did it that want to bother her though I didnt get the response I had hoped. It only pushed her away farther.

 

the fact is I went to margarita mamas the night she was there to get a reaction and I got it and I know she is far from over it. I hope someday she stops being so proud and says that, but I dont bet on it. It took me a year till today to own up and say I was childish and I will say it made me feel 100000000 times better to take a chance and say what she has probably known for the last year but she was just waiting for me to say it. Now I will wait for her to say it and see where she stands. I am sure she will read this tomorrow about 6am like clock work and I hope it makes her think."

 

So i took his stuff he had here and dropped it off and told him never to speak to me again. I guess at this point I'm so confused, I'm hurt, I'm upset and he's telling me he loves me but writes that blog about his ex fiance..

 

What do I do?

[Zackinlaw]

I'm a law student too ... so here's my advice ... write two briefs ... laying out your relationship in the "Statement of Facts" ... then write two arguments ... one that advocates staying together; one that advocates dumping him.

 

It may seem silly ... but your training makes it possible to take "feelings" out of what should be essentially a "best interests" decision.

 

Good luck

 

Zack.

[jenuineangel]

Stop Torturing Yourself If He Didn't Care That You Got In An Accident And That You Were Hurt What Makes You Think He Will Care About Hurting Your Feelings I Ve Had The Same Experience I Went Out With Him For Two Years And Things Were Rocky In The Beginning His Ex girlfriends Were Always Coming Arnd "just Friends"then Things Were Smooth But It Didn't Last Then Rocky Again Even More Rocky When He Started To Get Caught In His Own Lies After Catching Him Cheating Which He Was Doing For Arnd Three Weeks I Went To His House And His Roommate Let Me In I Took Everything That Belonged To Me And Gathered Pictures Of Us Left Them In A Bag With A Note "do Whatever You Want With This, I Don't Care Throw Them Away Just Like You Throw This Relationship Away." I Knew He Was Getting Home In A Few Days But Whn He Showed Up And Realized I Was No Longer There Everything Turned Arnd....to Make A Long Story Short[er]....i Decided To Try Working Things Out Again But That Girl Was Still Arnd When I Wasn't Around "just Friends"....yeah Right So I Ended It For Good I Still Hear From Him Although He Is Now Without A Home Only A Friends Living Room To Sleep And No Job I Choose To Not Let It Bother Me......your A Smart Girl Get Through That Law Skool And Show Him What He Lost Don't Let Him Take Your Time Again He Is Not Worth A Single Thought He Didn't Think Of You Instead He Went Out To Get Wings With His Friends, While You Were In Pain. " A Person That Is Worth Your Tears Is A Person That Wouldn't Want To Make You Cry"