The only thing I have learned from being dumped....

[tray25]

When someone doesn't feel the same about you, it will never work. If the person you want doesn't want you, it will never work. If they don't want the same things that you do, it will never work. So don't beat yourself up. Sometimes you just have to move on. No matter how pretty she was, no matter how many times she told you she loved you, no matter how many things you did or places you went together, in the end, if she doesn't feel the same way, it will never work........There is NOTHING you can do......It's hard but you have to move on. If you still have your health, your freedom, your family, and a decent job, you will survive. You may be alone, but there are worse things in the world than being alone. You have to move on. These are my thoughts....But what the hell do I know....

 

 

Don't fight for something that is not worth fighting for.

 

 

Peace out.....

 

 

Good luck....

[bubblyblonde11]

Here here.

 

Thats why I went immediately into total no contact once I got my stuff back and have agreed with myself that it def was for the best and I am much better & healthier out of that relationship and no point in fighting for someone that has taken both feet out of the door.

[digitaldiva]

I wish I felt that way. I just broke up this morning. I'm here at work now and he's at my house gathering his crap so that he can leave me. I feel so sad and alone. I have no friends in this city and no family. I don't have anyone that I can really hang out with and get over this with. I don't know what to do.

[Up and Down]

I wish I felt that way. I just broke up this morning. I'm here at work now and he's at my house gathering his crap so that he can leave me. I feel so sad and alone. I have no friends in this city and no family. I don't have anyone that I can really hang out with and get over this with. I don't know what to do.[/quot

 

I am sorry to hear that. My sanctuary and saving grace is here at ENA. Its helps my heart and my soul to know other people are going through the same thing.

[beauty21]

Thanks for that Tray. You made me smile this morning. I've been feeling a bit down since I got to work.

[tray25]

Deavyin. You had a great post that asked a very complex question .

 

"what if you were the girls first real relationship, ever, and she was afraid of commitment and wanted to experience what else was out there. in time, she might realize that others don't have what you had to offer (unfair, i know)"

 

 

For nine months I tried to be with a younger woman that did not want to be with me. She liked me but probably liked twenty others as well. She didn't know either. So I would just chase her and hope and hope, with every phone call that things would change and that she would realize what she was "missing".

 

Here is the answer to your question; I am not a religious man but I do believe in God. So if you and her are to be together, it will happen. But I am also a logical man. Logic tells me she doesn't want me right now (for any reason). So if I were to hang around, I would 1) go insane 2) miss out on others 3) become depressed and weary 4) become her emotional comfort but not her attraction.

None of these will make you a healthy or attractive person.

 

So all I see is this; I have to walk away from someone who doesn't want me right now. There is NOTHING more I can do....... Leave it up to God, or whoever the hell you believe in and move on. Being alone sucks, but so does chasing something that is not there.

[Mavh25]

Agreed!!! Nice post

[Arabian_eyes]

u r right but i think at the beginnin of any "break up" u just wanna do anythin to get back coz u r not ready to lose the one u love

but after lots of tears and sufferin .. u'll discover that it isnt worth fightin 4

[Iarra]

 

I totally agree. I have done everything that I can do to pull him closer (gave him space, been understanding and patient, reached out, etc...), but he still chose to walk away. I felt anxious because there was nothing else I could do. Now I just feel at peace, because after all, there really IS nothing else I could do!

[Soulhi123]

Thank you for your words...I often always regret (still) losing my ex because she was so pretty and kind... I still sometimes am in fear that my next if ever...will be as pretty and nurturing...Im not a shallow person its just shes still in my mind and heart and I think she'll always be there even if its a little bit. But it dosent matter, as long as you know that the person will stand by you through anything thats all that matters...

[digitaldiva]

Today is the first official day of the breakup. He has left my home and nothing else of his is there. I don't feel like I have learned a dam thing. I've learned that men are evil, selfish beings and I'd rather be alone for the rest of my days than to deal with this again. It all seems like such a fun game to them. They persue you, then right when you love them, they leave you! This happens to me all the time. I'm sorry to be so negative.

[Coyote9]

As you and I both know Tray, wisdom comes with experience, and neither of us knew to walk away even as we recognized issues with interest level before we came onto this site....hopefully it is a lesson we will take with us to our next relationships, wherever and whenever those might be. I recogized that she didn't feel the same way by her actions, but of course hung on her words (which were confused and mixed at best) instead. You've come a long way and actually think you know a lot. You are avoiding situations now that might resemble your ex and have healed signficantly it appears.

[lightn]

Today is the first official day of the breakup. He has left my home and nothing else of his is there. I don't feel like I have learned a dam thing. I've learned that men are evil, selfish beings and I'd rather be alone for the rest of my days than to deal with this again. It all seems like such a fun game to them. They persue you, then right when you love them, they leave you! This happens to me all the time. I'm sorry to be so negative.

 

Digitaldiva:

Not all guys are like that being selfish. I could say the same thing about women too and my ex she does not know what she wants and I am not over her yet, and after she made contact, I don;t know what her deal is claiming to be friends for now till she works out her issues about her parents degrading her etc. I treated her with respect etc. I fell for her and still do but it seems when I get close she pushes me away etc.

So again all men are not like that. There are good guys out there.

[digitaldiva]

I hear you, but I can't believe that most men aren't a little evil. Not right now anyways. I don't believe my ex wants to be friends. I think he pitys me, so he wants to make himself feel better by saying things like that. I know I should be strong, not feel pain and just forget about it, but it's so hard. I want to be with him even if he doesn't feel the same.

[ryan250]

You gotta believe us. There ARE good men out there.

 

Give it as little as a month, you will see things in a whole new light.

 

I promise.

[digitaldiva]

I'll see things in a whole new light if I have NO Contact with him, right? I'm usually really good with No Contact, but this is hard. He was actually the first real boyfriend I've ever had. My girlfriend is staying with me tonight and then I have work in the morning. So, I'll be safe all day today!

 

How do you beat the lonliness? We lived together for 2 years. When I'm at home alone, I find myself in the freakin fetal position crying when I should be studying, but I cannot remove myself from the state. something has got to give before I'm unemployed.

[ryan250]

Ah don't worry. 6 months ago I was in the same position as you. We were eachothers firsts, dated for 4 years and she broke it off with me just in April. 3 or 4 days later, she was with a new man. I took summer off.. no job and no school becuase I just couldn't concentrate, let alone sleep.

 

I can tell you each passing month gets easier. I have even started dating again recently, which has helped a little. Lonley? Oh yeah I know what thats like. Especially if you are used to having a significant other to lean on for so long. It's hard to make a big transition to having nobody. I can say though, I am a much more independent stronger person now. If you need advice or wana talk let me know. I've helped numerous people on here.