Online Dating Woes

[Luke Skywalker]

I have issues with online dating too myself, however we are world's apart - I still live at home and trying to establish myself - as a cold consolation, I'm now seeing people who are independent and well off also having a problem with this - so it looks like lots of guys, no matter what the particular walk of life is, has the same problem.

 

I've gotten some replies or 'connections', and tend to think, rather than going crazy and sending out lots of emails, it's better to see if you feel a connection with a particular profile (on a soulish level) and then work with her since you'll likely be more focused with her then if you are spread out on a major email campaign. I tend to be have that 'natural romantic touch' when I'm just dealing with one special person that I feel a connection with rather than mass emailing.

 

The way I see it is well, the less people that I see, is the less time that I am wasting on potentially bad dates or wrong girls. Let's face it - you could get some crash and burns or some psycho chicks out there. You have more time to focus on yourself and if the right girl comes around through that venue, then great, you can explore it and see where it goes. The best asset you have is time and may as well use it bettering yourself and if someone comes around that's worth your time then you can invest some time on her to see if it's worth pursuing her further.

 

I dont get much results online - I may meet people I'm uncompatable with but who are interested in me - I suppose that's better than connecting with nobody at all.

 

In my quest, I've tried services like 'link removed' and 'net2bed-net2wed' (can look up their sites or google them) and got refunds on what I perceived was a waste of time that didn't go anywhere. I'm not popular online by a long-shot, but seem to have enough results to make me content with the experience, even though I haven't meet anyone offline from online (due to compatabibility issues).

 

So, the right girl should come in time - and since you have a 'love guarantee' on link removed - which I do, you are guaranteed a free extension of another six month on the package of nothing happens. You just need to send a minimum of six emails out to new people each month before the first six months are up - anything further than that is your choice. Good luck.

[shyguy1]

Unless your super attractive you have little to no hope via online dating.

 

I stand by my opinion

[jenny_mcs]

Unless your super attractive you have little to no hope via online dating.

 

I stand by my opinion

 

My UPS delivery guy is short and kind of chubby and he just got married to a woman he met on eharmony.

 

The network guy at work who is not what I would call handsome met his gal on link removed.

 

And my next door neighbor's son who is actually kind of creepy looking (imo) has dated several women from link removed

 

So, I have to disagree with your thoughts on the subject.

[indiegirl94]

If someone sent me a message like that, I'd have a hard time writing a follow-up because it doesn't really spark conversation. There's no questions. Ask her what job she liked the best, what are the perks of owning your own business, when did she decide to start her own company, did she grow up catholic or convert later in life, does she go to church regularly, does she do any activities/volunteering through church, etc. Spend more time asking her questions than volunteering information about yourself.

 

It's also a little on the bland side. Throw something funny or light-hearted in there if you can. Saying something funny is a lot more effective than telling someone that you're funny.

[shyguy1]

My UPS delivery guy is short and kind of chubby and he just got married to a woman he met on eharmony.

 

The network guy at work who is not what I would call handsome met his gal on link removed.

 

And my next door neighbor's son who is actually kind of creepy looking (imo) has dated several women from link removed

 

So, I have to disagree with your thoughts on the subject.

 

That's fine I respectfully consider that the exception and not the rule.

 

I just know I personally had no luck on any of the online dating sites I tried.. and for EHarmony it's a complete and utter joke if you ask me.

 

I spent over half an hour filling out their little personality profile a year or so ago.. got all excited, only to get a "sorry we have no matches for you based on your personality profile at this time"

 

 

Screw that site.

[Taking The Lead]

Unless your super attractive you have little to no hope via online dating.

 

I stand by my opinion

 

Although you have a valid, and honest opinion, I disagree.

 

People seeking dates through the internet are NOT people with high standards. In fact, I'd say they're pretty desperate for love if they have to use text as a form of communication, instead of the ol' fasioned 'walk up to a girl, ask her out'

 

I read your e-mail, I really didn't see anything wrong with it. You were very polite, curt, and you told enough about yourself so a complete stranger would have an idea of who you are.

 

That's not to say some people will be turned off immediately by some of the things you said...

 

I digress..

 

You're on the right track, there's nothing wrong with you or your e-mails.

 

Keep it up!

[May_It_Be]

gaming, sci-fi = a trekkie?!?! ( unless your woman is a trekkie herself, she would not find this aspect a positive quality. in fact, u should try to keep hidden as long as u can. when a woman finds out that u are into these things, she immediately associates it with "geeky.")

 

I'm obsessed with Star Wars. Guess that makes me a geek. Proud of it, though. Most guys find that endearing about me, because it's rare in women.

[servedcold]

People seeking dates through the internet are NOT people with high standards. In fact, I'd say they're pretty desperate for love if they have to use text as a form of communication, instead of the ol' fasioned 'walk up to a girl, ask her out'

 

I'd agree that based on your use of "text as a form of communication" above, that you should likely stick to the "old fasioned" (sic) way...

 

Thanks for insulting most of the users of ENA.

[sonador]

I've tried online dating for the past 2 months and i am not getting anywhere either. So far i got one day date with a guy i met on a site, a very nice guy. But nothing happened after that and i haven't heard from him since. I don't know why.....

[Batya33]

Sounds like the problem is expectations. You don't know if he was very nice because he is a stranger and you cannot expect to know "why" you don't click with someone or someone doesn't click with you. Some of the time you will know why - it will be obvious - but the thing about meeting new people whether from the internet or otherwise is that in part it is a crapshoot - between body language, common interests, chemistry, attraction, etc you never know if you're going to click romantically. It's not always something that can be controlled even if the two people are "very nice" and have sincere intentions.

 

That is why dating is not for everyone - it requires a thick skin and realistic expectations. It's fine to be disappointed if a date doesn't work out but if you can't move on from it fairly quickly it will make dating in general far more difficult and anxiety provoking than it needs to be.