onatalie Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 7 months on from being dumped, and with a lot of healing progress made, I spotted my ex BF with another girl at the weekend. He did not see me. Felt like someone had ripped out my insides and fired them with force like rocks into the nearby harbour. I almost collapsed. Back to square one now...... Is this really part of the recovery / moving on process? I had the whole 'standing proud / I'm over you' scenario worked out in my head should I ever bump into him again. Despite loving him and missing him dearly, I've been working like mad [one doesn't have to be human in my industry], socialising with friends + family, read all the positive related posts here new hobbies, new wardrobe, two dates... but I guess the heart knows the truth and can't be fooled.... Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 I cannot imagine what that would be like...8 months healing for me...but if I was to see her I do not know how I would feel. I guess you seeing him with someone else was the final process in your healing. It should be anyways...just keep your head up...we will find OUR SPECIAL someone soon enough. Everyday for 8+ months my ex has crossed my mind, just looking forward to a day where I do not think of her at all. Its just a shame that someone could walk away from SO MUCH LOVE. Link to comment
Q-ball Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Hey natalie, I'm so sorry to hear you're hurting. I don't really know what to say. Whatever you do, do not be afraid of having these feelings, they are very normal. These feelings of love that you have prove that you are a good caring person, completely capable of giving and recieving enormous amounts of love. Picture yourself, in the future with the type of love that you want to have. Someone who cares so much about you and would never ever hurt you like your ex has. Think about how good it would feel. When a jealous, or a sad empty feeling comes into your head, recognize it immediately and visualize yourself in the future with this love of your life. I bet my life on it that you will find that love. Have fun in the meantime, hold your head up high and stay sweet, to everyone, even your ex if you run into him again. There is no need to worry about anything. Link to comment
onatalie Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 Thanks NiceGuy. Actually I spoke to his friend who was somewhat behind him in the crowd....[just to make sure the ex knew I was there at the gig]. That gives me an ounce of comfort somehow...I guess we all want the dumpees to know we are doing fine and having fun....at least on the exterior!!??? I hope you never bump into your ex....but then again, maybe it's a good thing - to really move on. [she says confusedly.....!] Link to comment
onatalie Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 Oh thankyou Q-ball!!! You have cheered me up so much. I can't believe you are so wise @ 22. I am late thirties but still a naive teenager when it comes to these matters! Must be payback for the guys I dumped SO much earlier in my love life...... Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 No problem.... You are going to be fine, maybe here in a week you will realize just how far you have come when you look back since seeing the ex finally. Sometimes I wish I could have the same thing happen to me, maybe if I saw her I would realize that I am just wasting time and feelings for someone that does not exist anymore. They are not the person we loved and will never be in most cases...but there is someone whom we have not found quite yet that is going to be worth it. Think of it this way...the next relationship...you and I....everyone on here that has had a broken heart...WE WILL ALL BE SMARTER AND MORE PREPARED FOR WHAT LIES AHEAD OF US. Link to comment
Coyote9 Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Hi Natalie...sorry about the shock to your system. I think we spend a lot of time working these painful memories and letting them go in our heads, and of course seeing an ex takes those feelings back to a much more primal level, and my guess is the adrenalin kick in and you literally had the "fight of flight" stuff take over your body. After 4.5 months, I've experienced that even in the few times I've seen my ex in her car. Know that it's just a temporary setback for you and now that you've been through it, the acceptance and work itself into other levels of your heart and mind. It's so very painful. I recall years ago after an engagement ended badly after 3 years seeing my then ex at about he 6 month point in her car and literally turning my car around and driving like a madman....I had know idea of course what I would do or say when I caught up to her and fortunately the insanity of my behaviour caught up to me in that moment and I sadly turned my car around and headed the other direction, in incredible pain but glad I didn't do something stupid. You can be proud of yourself that you didn't follow them or attempt any contact after the incident. I understand the depth of the agony of seeing that sort of thing, you feel like you are right back at the bottom of the hill, but in fact you aren't. This will actually make you stronger and allow you to more fully accept your circumstances. Hang in there!!! Coyote Link to comment
Iarra Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 I know just how you feel, dear. It happened to me last weekend, too. In my case, he didn't expect me to be there, so it must've been a surprise for him too. It's just been two months for me. I'm getting stronger every day, but this incident was very unexpected, so I didn't quite prepare myself for that. But you know what? It's ok. For me, it's just the thing needed to cut the strings. Think of it as the final test in getting over the ex, and we got through it. What else can get worse? I've posted this in my thread in the Breaking Up section, and I'm gonna post it here. HE'S HER PROBLEM NOW Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.