Insecurities?

[smiles21]

I’ve been having some thought’s of insecurities lately. I’ve been dating my current GF for about 5 months now. She is absolutely beautiful. Perfect figure, gets hit on CONSTANTLY. Something that comes with the territory, I know. Her ex recently texted her saying he still loved her. She didn’t respond. I got angry about it.. ( I know I shouldn’t have, it wasn’t her fault). Sometimes she points out guys on TV that she finds “Sexy” or “Hot”. It’s fine,, although it bothers me a little bit. I try to compare myself to them.. I work out constantly.. and I think I have a decent body. She says I do.

 

I just feel like she has so many options all the time, why does she want to be with me. I’m scared all the time she’s talking to other guys, and going to break up with me. It’s so stupid to feel this way, because she really doesn’t give me a reason. She says she loves me. I try see all the attention she gets from random guys when were together. I dunno.. silly for me to feel this way. I know. I need to stop these insecurities before they get the best of me.

[jul-els]

Just let them go. There's nothing good in it. If your fears turn out to be true then the worst case scenario is the end of the relationship. But lack of trust will bring the same exact end, the only difference is it would be your fault if it did. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Be happy for what you have. Let go of your fears and let yourself trust. Have faith in yourself, trust her and trust the relationship.

[Clementine orange]

If you think the worse and get the worse, you suffer twice.

 

If you think the best and get the worse, you only suffer once.

[tangi39]

Hey Smiles !

 

I know how you feel. I don't think your feelings make you insecure, I think they make you human. Don't beat yourself up about it.

I am married & my husband is gorgeous. Because of this, pretty women flirt with him everywhere he goes basically. He loves me but it still can be frustrating & downright worrying if you're having a bad day or feeling paranoid.

Even though I know he loves me, etc. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't sometimes bother me. Sometimes, not all the time. I think if you start getting to the point where you worry all the time or obsess about every fella that says hi to her, then you need to start worrying. IMHO, it's healthy to have a little jealousy- a little. If my husband didn't worry a little when cute guys flirted with me, I'd worry that he didn't care anymore.

Also remember just because a guy flirts with us, doesn't mean we're interested.

I would trust her word that she does indeed love you. And these flirtations are just that, flirtations, nothing more. As you said, she can't control what others say.

Think about this, would she blame you if a woman said you were attractive ?

As you said, she has never given any cause to distrust her.

As unsettling as I know it can be, even when reassured- Unless something happens that gives you a real reason to suspect something- just go on loving her. And being the supportive guy you are.

 

All the best.

[brooooooooke]

This is what I do..

[which may be kind of wrong, but it helps me deal]

 

I just think in my head, I'm just as capable of talking to some other guy and leaving him as he is me. I used to always think that only he could leave ME, but then I started thinking, well if I wanted to I could leave him too..So we're both in the same boat. I mean I would never leave him at all, never want to ever, but I am the most insecure person I know and I need SOMETHING to feel better. The best thing to do is just trust her. And know that she is with you because she likes you and if she wanted to be with someone else she would. It's still hard to realize that though.

 

I hope things get better for you.

[smiles21]

Thanks guys, this is helping... I just need someone to get my head straight. I shouldn't worry about the small things.

[Lana0120]

She's with you, not them, so at the end of the day she likes you better. Stop worrying about it otherwise you will end up driving her away!

[smiles21]

I dont really say much to her about it, I keep it inside. Which isn't good either.

[Lana0120]

The key thing is then to remind yourself then, that she's chosen you. Even if you don't mention it, your feelings either do or will show in your behaviour.