Confused about my feelings...

[secretlover]

OK, this is kinda a long story, but I'll start at the beginning and try not to make it too drawn out.

 

My best mate got together with a girl several years ago. This girl I had once heavily flirted with at a bar, but never taken it anywhere. They split up once, because things weren't working out, but I chose to convince my mate to give things another try, and they have been together ever since. They are totally in love with each other.

 

Anyway, about a year ago, I was talking to my mate about how things were going with his girl, and he said they were going well, but her friends were always there, and that he couldn't get anytime to himself. So I suggested that I date her friend to give them some time alone. But I thought it was best to speak to the girl first, to see if she minded if I dated her friend.

 

It seems she did. We were speaking on MSN, and I brought up the topic, and she said she did mind. After alot of talking I finally found out that the reason she didnt want me to was that she liked me. When I pressed her, she refused to talk about it.

 

That tore me up, and for about two months I was going crazy, as I had always really liked her, but the guy she was dating was my best mate. After alot of wrestling with my conscience, I finally told my mate what she had said to me, and he stayed with her, and offered us his blessing if we wanted to be together.

 

But we didnt, and over time, I got over her. Mostly via avoidance. Anyway, several weeks ago, on the last day of school, we hung out all day, as we were the only people from our grade who were still in school. Anyway, over the course of that day, we got on really well, and we both had a great time.

 

But since then, I am back where I started. I am head over heels for her, yet she is dating my best mate, so even if they were to split up, we could never be together.

 

S.L

[PeanutButter]

So your from austrailia huh mate!! School? Are you in high school still? Well how come you could never be with her? Just talk to your best mate!! I'm sure he will understand!! Whats so intriguing about this girl? Is there just something so so special about her? See what happens when you don't go and talk to the girl you want tho!!

[LostInMyThoughts]

Girls come and go.

 

Would you trade your friendship with your best mate, for this girl? Look into your heart and decide if she is worth it. If she is, then go for it.

 

If not, avoid hanging out with her. When you start seeing other people, your feelings for her will fade.

[PeanutButter]

Girls come and go.

 

Would you trade your friendship with your best mate, for this girl? Look into your heart and decide if she is worth it. If she is, then go for it.

 

If not, avoid hanging out with her. When you start seeing other people, your feelings for her will fade.

 

Thats true and I agree, but what if this is the one girl hes suppose to be with.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Thats true and I agree, but what if this is the one girl hes suppose to be with.

 

Thats why he should search his heart.

 

As for "the one he's suppose to be with" I don't put any stock into that nonsense.

[PeanutButter]

Thats why he should search his heart.

 

As for "the one he's suppose to be with" I don't put any stock into that nonsense.

 

Okay, maybe those weren't the best words. But what if he could of had something real great with this girl. Its kind of his loss for not stepping up and asking her in the first place.

[jettison]

Secret guy,

 

Wow. I don't start posts like that very often. I guess I'm just surprised that you would tell your best friend that his GF was attracted to you. That's the kind of information I would never share with a friend. In fact, if I heard that then I'd be deliberately avoiding this person right from the gun.

 

This has happened to me twice. Both times, I just felt like I was either being used by the woman to get back at her BF with whom she wasn't satisfied, or that the woman was just projecting because we had spent time together and I was deemed "safe". It's similar to the kick that some women get out of flirting with married men. Since the best friend is so obviously off limits, the flirting seems to know no bounds.

 

In any case, my friend ended up finding out about this each time because the woman told him. And each time, it hurt the friend pretty badly. I will say that this kind of thing is really common because we tend to fall for those who are in proximity, and who we can feel free to express ourselves with without the fear of reprecussions. The "best friend's girl" thing is soooooo common for those reasons.

 

It's also true that we value the opposite sex even more when close friends also value that person. That's pretty much universal.

[PeanutButter]

Yeh, so true. This girl told you hey I like you, yet your friend stayed with her? So she liked you and your best friend? IS THERE ANOTHER GUY IN THIS PICTURE, that you both dont know of? That she may be interested. This girl ehh they been dating for a bit, but if she hit on you while she was with your best friend, no the kind of girl you may want. Or the kind of girl your best friend should be with.

 

-Girls come and go.. friends will always be there- ;]