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Nothing seems to help


Moore
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G'day

 

I must say that I am new at this. I have never before posted anything about what I am going through on the net at all. Why now, I don't know.

 

I have wanted to end my life for a while now, seriously for the last month. I confided theses thoughts to a close friend who forced me to accept help. I have been diagonised with servere depression and I am now on medication for it. The medication is meant to be working by now however I still feel like ending my life. I talk closely with a friends mum who has tried to help me through this. I understand all what she says to me but it doesn't change my mind.

 

I want to be gone for this world. I want to be able to lie down and never wake up. I find myself looking at the different ways that I can end my life and I believe I have found the best way to do it. I have tried to be open to the help offered to me however I feel that its just not working.

 

People say to think about the loved ones left behind. I don't want to put anyone I love through grief and pain but if they only understood what pain I am going through now. I wish that they could understand but I know that they never will. That makes it hard for me.

 

I have never told anyone of my exact plans because I know if I do then I will be stopped. I feel so alone in this world. I know that I shouldn't feel this way for the love and support I have from my friend and her mother is very great. I appreciate all what they have tried to do for me. Its times like this I sometimes wish that I didn't have anyone to care about me for the fact that it makes it so much harder for me to do what I want to do. I know that statement must make me look like a very ungrateful person. Which is why they are all better off without me.

 

I just don't know what to do. I won't lie to you. I am scared of what I am wanting to do but I find that there is really no other way. I've tried to get help and it hasn't worked. I just don't want to live anymore.

 

Moore

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Moore,

 

I have been in the emotional position that you are in right now. I can say one thing is GET SOME HELP!!!! You have to get you ass to another doctor right away. Dude, No one is worth ending your life over and I learned that when I wanted to end my life. You have to talk to someone now. You are crying out for help but no one can help you here with the pain you are in right now. I know I am also in my own personal hell and I can sympatize with you. Please see another professional right away or let someone know how you feel. I cannot see the pain in your heart and no one can. You never stated why you feel this way. What happened to you that drove you to this point? I can only say you have to get some help and you had better do it now. I remember that when I was in your shoes I could not bring myself to do it. You have to remember that this in the only life you will ever live and to throw it away seems so silly. I look back at myself now and I am embarresed at how I felt and I can't believe that I let someone hurt me so badly. Hey if you need to talk dude please feel free to write me anytime. Please get some help!!!

 

Everyone has been to this point atleast once in their life. Please seek some help from someone that you care about because you taking you life is the cowards way out. Face the pain and get some help.

 

Don't do anything stupid man it is not worth it!!!!

 

I am not a doctor or anything like that, but you need to see another professional because the one you have seen is not effective enough.

 

-Hubman

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Hi mate it's good your hitting the keyboard instead of hurting yourself. What you are going through I guess I would describe as a personal hell. I have been depressed before but I am lucky that I found a way through it. I have also dealt with depression in people close to me.

 

My ex girlfriend was severely depressed for a very long time and she was also on anti-depressants. Hers didn't work like yours aren't working so you've got 2 choices, go to the GP and tell them you need a different pill (its hit and miss they might not get it perfect until a couple of shots, there are stacks of anti-depressants out there) or you can stop taking them. I dont know what that will do for you but its what she did and it helped her.

 

My own personal solution was jogging. I haven't done any physical activity for a year now and i think that was a major part of why i was so depressed. I started jogging the other day and I feel great, sure it hurts a bit and its hard core but I'll get better and for some reason it really gets my mind off the bad things.

 

I hope this helps you and consider this, at times when I thought about suicide I thought what if, ending it now while i'm feeling so much pain means that in death I'll never be over this. Its a depressing notion but it was enough to turn me from it. Good luck it's like climbing over a big hill you'll know when you hit the peak.

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Hello Moore,

 

I don't know if this will help you out to make a decision, I can only hope so. The loss of a human life is a tragic event, but the loss of life provoked by the very person who died is disastrous.

 

A friend of mine commited suicide a few years ago. He had everything for himself but he was schizophreniac. He somehow managed to escape the mental asylum and jumped off a bridge in a shcizophreniac crisis.

 

I'm telling you man, his death had the impact of a bomb, a nuclear bomb on his close friends. His brother hasn't gone over it and it has been years.

 

And her mom, god her mom. They loved each other so much him and his mom. She would've died a thousand times for him, he was everything in his life. She always saw the death of her son as a failure, even though it wasn't her fault. No one was ever able to convince her otherwise. She quit her job and aged terribly and she is on pills from that day on. She is a lifeless shell, beyond depression I think.

 

Think about your mom, there's nothing worse that could happen to her but to loose her own son, the very essense of her life. God, suicide if such a mess, it's only a matter of time and then things start looking up, that's the only absolute in life I'm sure of. I think you should try anything, make everything you want BUT not this. C'mon man, I don't know you and I probably shouldn't give a damn but I do. I can't accept that good people take their life away, it's against everything logic I stand for.

 

Please hang on,

 

Omega man

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  • 3 months later...

G'day

 

Well I'm still here. I have gone through a period of being depressed to feeling normal and now slowly going back to being depressed.My mind is now starting to have the same thoughts all over again.

 

I find myself thinking what is the point in all of this.

 

How am I meant to keep going if it is just going to become coming back over and over again? I am just so confused.

 

Moore

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Suicide one word that could end it all. You only get one life, not two, not three, one, and that's it. why waste it on the fact that u want to commit suicide, or should I say you are commiting to suicide. It's the easy way out, it's like being a wussy. no matter how hard life is there is some ppl who have it worse, or think they do, and if we killed ourselves, because we hated ourselves then we would all be dead. We are all alone, alone in this hell of a world. My friend Reid Cambridge, I'm not sure whether he wanted to commit suicide, or it was a accident, but ne way, the story goes, he put a belt around he neck because his hands couldn't fit all the way around his neck, he tightned and suffocated, he tried to take the belt off but it didn't work, he died, and everybody grieved over it, even ppl who hardly even knew him. I wanted to kill myself once, but I got over it, and thought I wouldn't be able to enjoy the ups and downs of life, if I ended it in one instance...

 

-Somer

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  • 3 weeks later...

G'day mate i wonder what will you do if someone is indifferent to the threats that you issued. eg my parents will just say go ahead and do it and my best friend will just change the topic. my psychologist couldnt care less either . what 's the use of confiding when all you get is ostracization when you talked about slightly negative stuff. maybe suicide is a viable option after all if you are a depressed person in this world coz i find it almost impossible to be happy without the support and intimacy from other person and i will never get that as long as i remain depressed. people still care about you and i think you shouldnt let them down unlike me who is in a different position

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