In love with dumped friend (Topic updated) ... need advice

[Ray18321]

I'm sorry about the long plot, but here is my dilema:

 

Okay, you may remember my previous post about liking my friend who had a b/f. Well, I've been trying to tell her but I never could find the right time. We are never alone at school and we have never hung out before outside of school. We usually just chat online and sometimes on the phone. Anyways, my friend just got dumped by her b/f and she is really depressed. She just lays there in class with her head down and sometimes even crying. I really like her and I wanted to pat her back or something but we've only been friends for about seven weeks. Plus, I have the worset shyness every (long history of moving and it may be heriditary.) Her b/f used to drive her to school and back home and today I asked how she would get home and she told me her b/f probably would. I got up the courage to say "Well, if you don't want to go with him, I can give you a ride." She said something like "Thanks but that's okay." I don't know if thats a sign that she doesnt trust me enough or if she's not interested in me or maybe she isnt over her b/f yet. It really brought me down and broke my heart a little bit more.

 

So, what should I do now? When would be the best time to wait before she heals? How do I know if she healed yet? What can I do for her? Should I tell her how I feel even though she just broke up?

 

I know that there are no "right" answers but I do need suggestions/advice. Please help.

[dino-prime]

mate the best thing you can do right now is let her know that you are there for her as a friend and a friend only right now.

 

do it in a card something plain and simple on the front, inside just write, something like "here if you need a friend" or something along those lines.

 

she just needs som time and space but to know that people are there for her.

 

keep ur head and be her friend first and foremost

 

ok

 

ps am i on the right line here people

[Princess777]

I agree with dino-prime.

She isn't ready to hear about anyone else's feelings for her yet. But I'm sure she'd welcome all the nice things you could think of to do for her, mostly just being there as a friend and listening. It will be hard to hear her talk about him but if you really care for her, try it and see if you can help in any way. She'll respect you for it.

Princess777

[Ray18321]

Thanks a lot for you're help! I'll try my best to be there for her. I hope I can get over my shyness.

 

Though, one thing still remains in question: How will I know when she is healed? Are there signs or something?

 

I want to get to her first before she gets a new b/f. I'm sure she won't have trouble cause of great of a person she is, plus she has a lot of guy friends.

 

I am thinking of walking her to my car(My only way to see her "outside" out of school and for us to be somewhat alone) and giving her a rose once she does heal and then tell her how I feel.[/b] I'm getting a little ahead of myself but do you think that wil be a good idea? If not, plz make a suggestion.

 

Thanks again

[ProphetSword]

I'm sure your friend has been really hurt. So, for you I have two suggestions:

 

1) Give her space. Be her friend. Realize that you may only ever be her friend...and learn to live with it. Good friends of the opposite sex can be wonderful.

 

2) Don't wait around. Go ahead and look elsewhere for love. Don't let the love of your life pass you by while you wait for this one person...who may end up being wrong for you or may not ever look at you as anything other than a friend. Believe me, once you leave school it gets harder and harder to meet people...so take advantage of it while you can.

[Ray18321]

Well, I sent her an online card and she liked it. We have become closer since she broke up with her b/f. But I still want to tell her really bad. Anyone have ideas/comments/advice on this?:

 

 

 

 

Also, I've been trying to go to hang out with her over the weekend, but she's always been busy and she will be this upcoming weekend too Any know a way I can somehow get together privately with her under these circumstances (I know it's hard to figure out because you don't know everything going on with me and her.) Thanks in advance!

[dino-prime]

ok i assume your in the usa so why not try asking her if she wants to do something with you over halloween and/or thanksgiving holiday. just fun stuff like going to the haunted house/haloween charity event if u have one in town , i know most uni campuses will be running one.

 

show her a nice time and just go with the flow but remember she is still probably a bit fragile since the break up on the inside even tho she may seem healed on the outside.

 

if she has enjoyed your company at the end of the night what ever, just tell her u had a great time with her and that u would like to see more of her.

 

u cant make someone love you it is their free will all u can do is show some interest and hope they get the hint.