What to do when she wants to be friends?

[Basil]

Dear all,

My girlfriend and I just broke up and it's been like 2 weeks now. We went out for 5 months and I thought it was going good cept that sometimes, she's really fussy and or moody. I, myself don't know why I go quiet around her sometimes too and that pisses her off.

The day that she told me 'I want to break up'. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it and only wished that it was all a dream. She said many times before that she loves me and yes I do love her.. with all my heart. I wrote her poems and give her flowers and etc. She said she still wanna be friends.

We had been goind out to places after the break up and I pretended as if we were never going out but it was hard and awkward. She didn't tell that many people about us breaking up. I love her and I really want her back. I don't know what she needed but I figured she needed space and probably time. I know for sure that I want to be with her, and probably for the rest of my life. What should I do? Should I keep trying or should I just quit and move on. I love her so much. Oh! I am 19 and she's turning 18 by the way. I know that we maybe young and stuff and probably a long way until the 'Big Day' comes. I don't personally think about marrying her right now but I know, somehow, that I will because I dont' wanna be with anyone else but her. She, now, goes bush-walking with some people I don't even know and she keeps talking about this guy who she went with.. I couldn't do anything but listened and feeling pain. Is she just playing with me or is she really into it?

If anyone has any idea of what I should do could you be so kind to please help me out? !! I would be appreciated. Thank you all in advance and have a good life. You only get one at it.

Cheers, Basil

[mermayd]

Breaking up is always tough. It's not something most people welcome. It sounds to me like you really care about her and that you aren't totally sure why things ended between you. I would advise you just to talk to her. Tell her that you cherish what the two of you shared and ask her what went wrong. See if she can give you any answers. Maybe you two can come to a compromise and try things out again. I usually say that if a realationship ends, its probably for a good reason but your situation seems to be an exception. It doesn't sound to me like things ended between you two for any reason that couln't be worked on. I would talk to her and ask her if there is anything that you need to work on and tell her the things you think she may need to improve on as well. It sounds like you really love her and I think she should be told that once more. Just keep in mind that if things don't work out as you hoped, there is a reason for it and a reason that you shouldn't be together. But also remember that you can't force anything to happen. If it doesn't happen, take a deep breath and say "ok". You will heal. But I really hope that she listens to you and above all, be honest with her. Good luck!

[Basil]

Dear Mermayd 33,

Thank you so much for your advice. The reason why we broke up was because, as from her, 'She wants to travel and she wants to see other people'. I understood it and I understood her but it just that we've been going out for 5 months, she seemed joyful in the relationship, why not break up earlier and why so suddenly? I told her once that if we were going to break up I'd like us to talk about it. Turned out, she just called me up and told me to come over and then she said 'I want to break-up'. It's the saddest thing I've ever heard because it rips your heart apart.

Yes I do love her, and I don't want to hate her. Also, I don't want to lose her, sometimes I call her and stuff. She sounded like she still loves me but there's something else that holds her back and I don't know what. I want to take her out to dinner and then drive her home and talk to her in the car, coz that's what we usually do when we had problems, we talked in the car. Nowadays though, she's so busy and she goes out with whom she calls 'a friend'. I dont' want to get in too much of her personaly life since we already broken up but it's just hurts me if knowing that she's going out with someone.

I'm planning to go to her house one day and talk to her face to face. I want to tell her that I still have feelings for her but I'm afraid that it'll make matters worse. What should I do?? Please give me more advice.

Thank you so much. --Basil.

[mermayd]

I was oonce in the same situation as her, I think. It sounds like she is afraid that she has found "the one" earlier than she anticipated. I don't think youh have anything to lose by talking to her face to fface. If she wants to see other people, then you can't force her to stay with you. You can only respect her wishes. All you can really do at this point is tell her how you feel and how much you care. Ask her why things ended so suddenly when you thought things were going so well. Try to get things straightened out but try not to force anything to happen..

[kuys]

God, why is it when they find "the one", they run off scared and lie about it?

[sukerbut]

tell her if she wants a friend to get a dog...dont be a fool