AusTrist Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 My ex spoke to me on MSN just before. She said that she thought I wasnt going to talk to her because I hate her. I told her that i dont hate her. She then went on to say that she is feeling guilty and is really upset. I told her there wasnt much I could do cos she broke up wit me. I suggested she talk to someone other than me and she went on to ssay her friends are unreliable n stuff. Then I tried changing the subject aksing how her week went and then she said do I really care and I said of course I do. Then she wnet on about how I told her we shouldnt be talking about things and then I decided to tell her maybe we shouldnt talk at all. I said to her not to contact me until she is ready. She messaged me asking why it was ok for me to call her whenever but when she wants to talk to me why I should fob her off. I wasn't really fobbing her off I just was trying to let her be alone so she can be happy again. I feel so bad about the whole incident as though everything that has happened is my fault even though she broke up wit me. I just don't know why i feel so bad because I dont think i have done anything wrong but maybe I have. I dont want to never speak to her again but I also dont want to talk to her if she is going to be all uspet about everything. It just doesnt seem fair is all. Just wondering what anyone else thought is all? Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Sounds like she is trying to alleviate her guilt and subconsciously trying to turn it back on you so she won't feel so bad about dumping you. It sounds like you did everything right by giving her the space she needs and maybe she is unhappy that you are not tripping over her to get her back, which incidentally adds to her whole thought processes. You did nothing wrong and how you're acting towards her is very civil given the fact she dumped you. Keep on doing what you're doing and don't let her own issues about all of this cloud your own judgment and actions. Take care bru and were all here for you. Link to comment
JEZAUS Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Hey mate, sounds like you're doing well and keeping your head together which is a top effort. Personally, based on the info here i recon she's lonely, not having you around to rely on when she's feeling crap such as the guilt and sadness she has from breaking up with you. Also, you mentioned that she said her friends are 'unreliable'? This to me says that she hasn't really got a good support network behind her through all this and the person who she would usually go to alleviate all these ill feelings (you-obviously) is gone. Sounds like she probably doesn't want you back (sorry to say), but she misses you being there for her. Breaking up is not fair. But that's life. I don't think you should be feeling bad about anything you've done, in my opinion i think you've done everything right. If she was strong enough to gather up the courage to break up with you all by herself, she's gotta be strong enough to deal with the ramifications by herself. True story. My girlfriend broke up with me about 3-4 months ago and i haven't had any contact but she knows i'm here not to take her back, but to be there if anything bad should happen. I think that unless something bad happens to her (god forbid), you shouldn't be there to console her for what SHE did to you. You'll be right mate, if she contacts you again ask her nicely to spare a thought for you, and that no contact is the best thing for you (at least for the time being). If she has an ounce of respect for you she really should respect your decision. Take care and don't second guess yourself. You have nothing to feel bad about. Link to comment
AusTrist Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Thanks guys I thought I was doing the right thing. Still it didnt stop me feeling bad. I messaged one of her friends to call her for a shoulder to cry on and not let her know I said anything to them. I'm leaving it at that. I am just doing my own thing I actually have a date next week which I never in a million yrs expected to happen it just did so yeh. Im trying to focus more on that really. Deep down I think she was looking for me to talk to but was hurt when i told her maybe we shouldnt. Who knows what the future beholds Im just guna live in the moment cheers guys Link to comment
Twistedwhispers Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 you sound like a really nice guy. it does sound like shes feeling guilty and maybe regretting it all, maybe she wasnt expecting you to be so calm about the whole situation and for you to fall into pieces? dont feel guilty for not wanting to listen to her, you need to focus on you and how your feeling. keep it up x Link to comment
AusTrist Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Yeh when She broke up wit me I was upset as you are but I levelled my ehad and stayed calm and she did ask me why i was so calm and I said it was because it was what she wanted and that she needed to do it if she has decided to do it. She wasy saying how she was thinking it was a big mistake breaking up and I told her it wasn't because obviously there is a problem if she wants to. I am not that upset anymore but I was so devastated at first and over the first couple weeks. I feel much better now though and even though I still think about her a lot and still feel sad from time to time I just try not to worry about it and try and keep happy and have fun without her now. Thanks for the replies. Link to comment
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