ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Hi. I realize I am not strong enough to say I will stick to the NC challenge for 30 days.I have tried and failed so many times. It's like coming off drugs. So to avoid disappointment, I want to start small and work my way up. So this s my official 10 day commitment to NC. Wish me luck!!! Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I had a couple of failed attempts before I could do it - and if I could, you can. As with drugs, it's one day at a time. Good luck!! Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 8, 2007 Author Share Posted June 8, 2007 Hehehehe Thanks Doll.I am the poster child for failure at this stuff. I'm weak but I am gonna make it, haha. Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 You will make it and you will see just how strong you really are. You obviously know yourself well and have a realistic goal for yourself. By the time you get to day 10, I bet you'll keep going because you'll feel so good about yourself. Link to comment
Mistygirl Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 thelonelydoll, You are right, one day at a time. Sometimes we have to break it down to one hour at a time and even 5 minutes at a time if we have to. Sometimes I will set my timer on the microwave and lay my phone down so I'm not looking for text messages. It's amazing how fast the time goes by when I set the timer and tell myself i can look at the phone when the timer goes off. I will go longer than what i set it for. That's just the way I start with baby steps till I get better. Link to comment
valenski Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Some people can go months at a time while others go a mintue at a time the important thing is getting the job done. Good luck on your road to healing. Link to comment
papalazarou Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 All I can say is little steps. One day it will be a day. Then next time two days, then three etc What I will say is that there is adanger that you are pissing them off by contacting them. More so if they have asked you have not to. How did I deal with going NC? By filling my time up as much as possible, see friends, family, get a hobby, exercise anything that takes your mind off them and contacting them. Link to comment
BONO Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 All I can say is little steps. One day it will be a day. Then next time two days, then three etc What I will say is that there is adanger that you are pissing them off by contacting them. More so if they have asked you have not to. How did I deal with going NC? By filling my time up as much as possible, see friends, family, get a hobby, exercise anything that takes your mind off them and contacting them. and perhaps speed dating !! BONO Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 8, 2007 Author Share Posted June 8, 2007 June 8th Today is offically day #1. So far so good. I just woke up, so luckily I don't sleep walk and make crazy phone calls. I won't get into much detail. But here's the gist: Known guy about a year. He is hot and cold with me I want a more commitment..feel more like his security blanket Plus he has been seeing another woman, but still contacts me in the meantime. It's hurtful. So I'm not worrid about initiating anything, as much as I am responding to him. I wish I could tell him to just go F himself, but I really do care about him. This stuff is hard. Link to comment
miew Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I also started my second NC for 3 days now! the first one lasts almost 4 weeks, but I broke it by responding his "invitation" for a movie. But I made a mistake by acting too needy (asked him if we would be back together, if he missed me... that kind of questions and be unnaturally nice to him... ) and I found that he was not that eagered to contact me ever since. NC is hard, but I tried to do as much activities as possible, meeting friends, learning some new stuffs...we'll get through it! Link to comment
BONO Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 June 8th Today is offically day #1. So far so good. I just woke up, so luckily I don't sleep walk and make crazy phone calls. I won't get into much detail. But here's the gist: Known guy about a year. He is hot and cold with me I want a more commitment..feel more like his security blanket Plus he has been seeing another woman, but still contacts me in the meantime. It's hurtful. So I'm not worrid about initiating anything, as much as I am responding to him. I wish I could tell him to just go F himself, but I really do care about him. This stuff is hard. People tend to want the things they cannot have. Turn the tables and give him the best gift in the world. The gift of missing you through no contact. Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 8, 2007 Author Share Posted June 8, 2007 Thx Bono. Just a question. I almost always answer or reply to him.Should I just fiend ignorance if he asks why I'm not all of a sudden? Or just say nothing? This is the hardest part for me.Not wanting to be rude or mean. He has not asked me not to contact him.I just want him to see he can't just have me whenever he wants me. Am I doing the right thing? By the way, he knows how I feel about him, yet nothing has changed Link to comment
BONO Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Thx Bono. Just a question. I almost always answer or reply to him.Should I just fiend ignorance if he asks why I'm not all of a sudden? Or just say nothing? This is the hardest part for me.Not wanting to be rude or mean. He has not asked me not to contact him.I just want him to see he can't just have me whenever he wants me. Am I doing the right thing? By the way, he knows how I feel about him, yet nothing has changed Albert Einstein definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. He also said that , "any intelligent person can make things bigger, more complex and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction." Have you read Majord23 "The Perfect Plan " and "No Contact - The Guide" ?? BONO Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 MAMA: You need not offer any explanation at all for not responding/replying/answering the phone. Just "drop off the face of the earth" - he'll have to figure things out on his own. An explanation opens your decision up to dialogue, when it's not a matter for discussion. Let him live with the silence - and it'll do you a world of good, too. You'll see. Link to comment
miew Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Thx Bono. Just a question. I almost always answer or reply to him.Should I just fiend ignorance if he asks why I'm not all of a sudden? Or just say nothing? This is the hardest part for me.Not wanting to be rude or mean. He has not asked me not to contact him.I just want him to see he can't just have me whenever he wants me. Am I doing the right thing? By the way, he knows how I feel about him, yet nothing has changed Yeah, I know how you feel, I am going through this now, I broke my first NC by replying his contact and went to a movie with him, but I can tell that he knows I still have strong feelings for him so he doesn't really feel he's losing me. like Bono said, If we don't turn the tables, things ain't gonna change... I guess I need a longer and stricter NC this time. Good luck to u, too... Link to comment
IndieRockChick Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I failed like, after 3 days. Haha. I'm starting back, i'm on day 2. Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Rock on! If you read all the NC stories on here, everyone has struggled with it initially, but eventually lived to tall the tale of successful healing and how it really works. Keep coming back - it works if you work it! Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 9, 2007 Author Share Posted June 9, 2007 Day 1 is coming to a close. It went fast.I stayed busy at work.I plan to fill my weekend up with some chores, then am taking some additional time off next week for some fun stuff.Wish me luck Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Good luck and enjoy the time off - hope you get good weather! Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 9, 2007 Author Share Posted June 9, 2007 Hi all. This is day 2. I am doing ok so far. Nothing to report really. If he doe not contact me at all in this 10 day period I wil be pretty surprised, but I know it would be best for me if he didn't. Just going to get some stuff done, maybe go shopping and chill. Hope everyone is doing well, and thanks for all the support!! Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 End of day two.Went out to a club, had a great time..... Ready for day 3!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Hey, good for you - you'll get through your personal challenge in the blink of an eye. Keep it going, mama! Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 Thanks Doll.I admit.I am a bit disappointed I havent heard from him, but in the long run its best.I just keep thinking of him being with his g/f..and it makes my stomach turn.I don;t need that crap....Bring on day 3!! Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 Start of day 3. Feeling positive,full of energy ,even though it was a late night last night. Got the next 3 days off,and intend to enjoy them. Link to comment
ONE HOT MAMA Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 Ok I was doing ok today.Just having an angry moment.Feeling a little used, and angry at myself for letting myself be in this position. I am almost POSITIVE I will hear from him, espcially if things go sour with her. I will no longer be Miss "Good Friend". Sorry just having a bad moment.I need to get busy and I will feel better. Link to comment
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