cpc28655 Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 How much time passed between your last breakup, until you were mentally ready to start dating again? I ask because it has been 18 months since me and my wife said goodbye, and I am no more wanting to date today then I was 18 months ago. Perhaps I am just stubborn, which is why I am wanting all of your thoughts. No sugarcoating please, just tell me like it is. Link to comment
MissTee Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 I guess it depends on what your previous relationship was like. I was with my ex for 2 years and it took a full year of solid partying and being single for me to get over it. I met my current partner at the end of that year... Never thought about my ex again. However, I imagine it would take a bit longer to get over a marriage. Something I would not like to find out about. Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 Oh, you misunderstand. I am not thinking of the ex, just do not want history to repeat itself. And no, you do not want to know what it's like. I was lucky, there were no children involved. Link to comment
Dako Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 I'd say 2 years is reasonable. I can sure understand the aversion to dating after divorce. Do you have a concern that you may fall for someone? Some guys have told me they fear losing their mind and marrying again. Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 I'd say 2 years is reasonable. I can sure understand the aversion to dating after divorce. Do you have a concern that you may fall for someone? Some guys have told me they fear losing their mind and marrying again. No, no specific concern. And I lost my mind a very long time ago, lol I am only asking to see if my feelings are common. Link to comment
MissTee Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 I think only you will know when you are ready to date again. As for history repeating itself, I guess you will need to be confident in the choices you make and the people you decide to date. Take time to pick the right person but you can still date in the meantime to get back into the hang of things and meet some new people! Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 I think only you will know when you are ready to date again. As for history repeating itself, I guess you will need to be confident in the choices you make and the people you decide to date. Take time to pick the right person but you can still date in the meantime to get back into the hang of things and meet some new people! I never thought of it like that. Very good point. Link to comment
Tezza Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 When my 8 year relationship ended, I started dating a new guy within 2 months... I am still scared of getting hurt all over again, but I am trying to be open to this guy, who seems to really care for me, I have to give him that chance... It really does help you get over your ex, but I would rather have a chance to have happiness again, even if it meant that there was a chance in me getting hurt... It is a risk you take, you can not predict what life will bring you, you just have to give it a go... Link to comment
Cindersam Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 It's been 7 months for me after a 6 year relationship and I still do not feel ready. After my marriage (which was several years ago) it took me about 2 years but i think part of that was because i had young children at home. Link to comment
Orlander Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 It takes as long as it takes. For me that's over a year and a half. Then, one day something just clicks and you know you are ready to date seriously...that your heart is free. Some people dont have that happen until they meet someone and some just wake up one day and know. Orlander Link to comment
caro33 Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Ten year relationship ended suddenly, was very hurt and went to ground for a year. Took just over a year to feel comfortable with a new guy, but it took me 3.5 years to have the sense to pick the right one...Kissed a couple of frogs. I do agree that practice is the way to go, when you are ready. No need to see any one date as the key to your happiness or the potential perfect partner. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 It takes as long as it takes. For me that's over a year and a half. Then, one day something just clicks and you know you are ready to date seriously...that your heart is free. Some people dont have that happen until they meet someone and some just wake up one day and know. Orlander absolutely agree. nicely said. i don't know how it works after marriage though. cause i heard when you get married you pretty much lose the thing between ur legs anyways. Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 absolutely agree. nicely said. i don't know how it works after marriage though. cause i heard when you get married you pretty much lose the thing between ur legs anyways. No, it is present and accounted for. Link to comment
mrirving Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Its tough to say ... My relationship of three years ended with both parties wanting out ... even with that being the case it took me about a year to feel a need to be that close to someone. Even after that, however, I was having a lot of problems as I was comparing women to my ex - and I could never find anyone that made me feel like that. Thing is, when you are ready and the right person comes into your life, all those thoughts go away. Don't force it and happiness will find you. Link to comment
Chilly Willy Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 All I can tell you is that if you're not ready to date again, don't push it. In my situation I started dating after six months, but I made it clear to all that I was not looking for a serious relationship. I just wanted to have fun. Then I met what I thought was the right girl and after two really bumpy years, I ended it. And as it usually happens I'm falling for a girl that doesn't know what she wants. But that's another story. You'll get back into the game when you feel you're ready. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Good post, Orlander. I am torn about trying to find someone new to "help me get over" the old one. I think it would help...but I worry it would backfire if I am not over my ex. If I am using it to medicate the loss. It is almost a year for me, and I feel like I want to think about trying soon, to help put the past one behind me (if I just stay here I'm worried I'd stagnate and stagnate just recycling old memories instead of creating new ones), but then is it fair to the new person if your heart isn't already totally FREE of the past, or will I be comparing him too much to the last one, which would sabotage a great new potential? It's a dilemma. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 there was no set time for me. i went out anyways. if i found someone, i found someone. Link to comment
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