Ex Messing With My Head!! Help!!!

[sandyv]

Hi all, where do I begin? Long story, please bear with me.

 

I'll start from the beginning since alot of people prolly don't know my situation.

 

A year ago I met Jack, we hit it off really quickly. Only problem was he had alot of baggage, and I mean ALOT. Such as an ex gf who is bipolar and 3 little kids. He had fully custody of the kids at that time, (she never did because she is so mentally unstable). He had been apart from her for over a year. When she found out about me being in the picture, she just flipped. She wanted him back I guess....??? So she basically was stalking us and threatening to punch me out whenever our paths crossed. That went on for about 5 months.... She even went so far as to call the Children's Aid to report to them that he was hanging out with a horrible woman (me) and was doing crack. He lost custody then... He was so upset (understable) but was unable to deal with anything very well. I left him to try and sort out his troubles and because he wasn't treating me very well at the time, but I did understand his upset too.

 

Well fast forward to about 1 1/2 months ago..... she is gone, she was locked up in the physco ward for awhile apparently and has a restraining order against her.... he shows up at my door during the playoffs and wants to hang out with me..... yeah you guessed it..... he didn't leave that night.... We spent 2 weeks together before he told me he "didn't want a gf". He then left, back 3 days later, like nothing is wrong and acting like we are a couple....??? Talk about confused???? I was and still am.

 

Things have continued like that since then and I haven't wanted to push him hoping maybe he'd smarten up some how. Finally this past weekend he shows up and there seems to have been a change in him. He told me he would never go away unless I told him to his face to do so. He told me he "has feelings for me"???? But what happened Friday night has my head spinning again..... He decided to go to the pub with my son for a couple of drinks...... (I got the story from my son who arrived home at 2:00 a.m.) At the bar some crack head blonde, who was wasted landed at their table. Apparently the bartender called the cops to have her removed... Jack decided to be Prince Valient and take her to his place until the coast was clear..... my son with them. Jack got angry at my kid Mikey because this girl was coming on to Mikey. Mikey decided to leave because of this situation. He told Jack his mom (me) was going to hear about this stuff...... Jack threatended him....

 

Well next day I decided to make myself unavailable being upset on hearing this junk, so I went out alone to watch a band. Mikey called on my cell shortly after to tell me Jack was there and looking for me. I told him NOT to tell Jack where I was..... I was sitting with a guy I knew at the bar... well guess what? In waltzes Jack..... He sits down beside me like everything is just fine...??????? I told him I'd heard all about the night before, he said "so what" it was nothing, she was in trouble, she left right after Mikey did"..... Am I wrong to be angry??..... He insisted I come back to his place so his roomate could tell me the truth and back up his story. I did.... and his roomate did back up the story.

 

Well I hung there for awhile, and Jack decides we should all go back to the bar... something wasn't sitting right with me emotionally. He went to the bathroom and while he was in there, I ran out the door and about a mile home. I haven't talked to him since.

 

Please anyone have any ideas on how I should feel about this thing. I truly love him, but if he is gonna continue this kinda stuff, I've gotta be gone for good. Sorry for the long story.......

 

Sandy

[lovecrazy]

Sadly, I think he is unstable himself.

 

Sounda like to me he just wants to play games. And if you take your ex's side, over your own son's it would be bad mistake.

 

Honestly I would get away from him for a while. And take care of you and you only.

 

Men who play games are not worth any perons crying over.

 

Keep us posted please.

[sandyv]

:sad:

Sadly, I think he is unstable himself.

 

Sounda like to me he just wants to play games. And if you take your ex's side, over your own son's it would be bad mistake.

 

Honestly I would get away from him for a while. And take care of you and you only.

 

Men who play games are not worth any perons crying over.

 

Keep us posted please.

 

Yes thanks Lovecrazy, he does seems to be playing the jealousy games. I never call him, or go looking for him. Its him thats doing all the pursuing..... I have to tell him to leave me alone for now I guess.... hard to do loving him as I do, but I have to for my own sanity.:sad:

[comfyshoes]

here i go again, telling my story.

 

how many times did my ex break my heart, Sandy??

 

why did she do it??

 

BECAUSE I LET HER!!!!!!

 

i loved her, still do, and took her back every time because she told me she had changed.

 

unless he SHOWS you he has changed, he hasn't.

[JadedStar]

Sandy you are allowing this man to do whatever he wants. You know you need to toss him to the curb.

 

Being alone can't be worse then dealing with someone who tries to mess with your head.

[sandyv]

Sandy you are allowing this man to do whatever he wants. You know you need to toss him to the curb.

 

Being alone can't be worse then dealing with someone who tries to mess with your head.

 

Thanks Shoes and JS, I know, I know, its just getting myself to be able to say this to him..... he said last Thursday, He would NEVER go away, unless I told him to his face to go.... I asked "Why" ... he said "because I have feelings for you"......... he knows how to keep me on a string apparently....

[sandyv]

I never thought he'd be back after 7 months to begin with. I have hoped that maybe he would realize that he's being a jerk, and sometimes he has admitted to me that he does have emotional problems because of his ADD...

 

I feel so depressed at the thought of him being permanently out of my life.... I haven't told him that he needs to straighten himself out, or get out of my life, do you think I should maybe try an ultimatum first?

[metrogirl]

Usually when we feel something isn't quite right, it's usually true. your instincts told you to bail and you did. Good for you Sandy. I know how hard it is to let someone go when you love that person.

 

I'm hoping that in time when all the craziness in his life calms down, that he will be better suited for you. * * * * luck....

[sandyv]

Usually when we feel something isn't quite right, it's usually true. your instincts told you to bail and you did. Good for you Sandy. I know how hard it is to let someone go when you love that person.

 

I'm hoping that in time when all the craziness in his life calms down, that he will be better suited for you. * * * * luck....

 

Thanks Metro, thats what I want the most, for him to realize things can't continue in this crazy way.... and I'm sure he knows I love him, although I have never said the words exactly.

 

I'll let him do his own thing, and see what happens, nothing else is going to work prolly anyway.

 

Thanks your advice is appreciated everybody......

[metrogirl]

I hope everything works out for you Sandy. I've only been a member a short time, but from everything that i have read, you seem so sad and I can tell that everyone here likes you.

 

Keep your head up. I know it's hard to deal with men that come with serious baggage, (one day I'll clue you in on my ex and his baggage), hopefully you won't feel so alone.

 

I know one time I mentioned that boyfriends with names that begin with the leter "J" are JERKS.......HAHAHA

 

Hugs hugs hugs...........we will get through this.

[sandyv]

I hope everything works out for you Sandy. I've only been a member a short time, but from everything that i have read, you seem so sad and I can tell that everyone here likes you.

 

Keep your head up. I know it's hard to deal with men that come with serious baggage, (one day I'll clue you in on my ex and his baggage), hopefully you won't feel so alone.

 

I know one time I mentioned that boyfriends with names that begin with the leter "J" are JERKS.......HAHAHA

 

Hugs hugs hugs...........we will get through this.

 

Thanks Metro you are so kind, you make me feel like maybe I'll be all right. Sometimes lately I've had such awful anxiety over this guy.....

 

The baggage is a very difficult thing to deal with, and I do think Jack's prior problems have very much affected the way he is now, in another words I think he's pretty damaged.... and thats why I've tried to have patience with him too.

 

Yes and maybe all J names are jerks..... lol

 

Yeah we will pull through this stuff together.....

 

((((HUGZ))))

 

Sandy