checking ex's email

[Dev007]

I saw a post today and someone mentioned that they had checked their ex's email. This got me interested, "I wonder if I should change my passwords", I thought to myself.

 

How many of you have checked your ex's emails, facebooks, myspaces, etc...?

 

My ex did once (that I know of) when we were dating. That was a no no.

[FreedomRing]

Geez Dev...I hope that "someone" wasn't me.....

 

And YES...change the password.......for some reason alot of males pick the EASIEST passwords(nicknames, birthdate, some part of the Social, etc) please get more creative!! I got my ex's in 2 trys!! Shame on me......I KNOW.

 

I was 1 week clean of checking up until a low point yesterday..back to the drawing board. It really makes you feel like crap when you check, and I wish I could tell him to please change it......but then that would be ratting myself out...not gonna happen cap'n. I will exhibit more self-control. Wish me luck.

[Scatt-Man]

Shouldn't you not care if your GF/BF checks your chat-logs or e-mail accounts?

There's nothing to fear if you've done nothing wrong.

 

I'd have let my girlfriend see every one of my e-mails if she so chose.

Her, on the other hand, eventually became offended.

I saw how she flirted, and it upset me.

She said that I didn't trust her, yet after reading what I read, how could you blame someone?

 

If you read something that upsets you, what're you supposed to do?

Are you just supposed to forget it? That'd be impossible!

 

...Why do people flirt so much? -_-

[Milk You]

Nope, never checked my ex's e-mail. Never really got the urge to or understood why I'd want to.

[ghostfreak]

I never had the urge to either, I didn't think there was any point as well.

[daywalker2868]

Scatt-Man, my girlfriend and I are pretty much on the same page as you regarding the openness with e-mail etc.

I did peek into her facebook account one time and saw messages between her and an ex which I took the wrong way. And you're right, in that situation, you really do have to say something. I feel bad for you that she was offended. My gf said she didn't mind that I did what I did and she's done the same to me and I'm cool with it. We really don't have anything to hide.

On the other hand, I know a number of people who would react just as your girlfriend did. I guess the thing to is to just talk about your comfort boundaries before you risk overstepping them.

[RayKay]

I have never exchanged passwords with someone for things like that; not because I have anything to hide but rather because I respect the privacy of those whom I email WITH as well, just as I respect his privacy and his friends/family's privacy.

 

It is not like I open his snail mail (we live together); why would I open emails? We may discuss emails we have received/sent with one another..or share them with one another in some cases, if there is a shared interest in the person concerned for example but otherwise....just because you are WITH a person does not mean you "own" that person or their actions/privacy.

 

I would not get offended by my partner asking to see something and would likely share it unless it would violate someone else's trust/privacy rights...but I would get EXTREMELY offended if someone snooped to check them without asking.

 

I honestly feel that if you are that driven to "check up" on your partner, it is a clear enough sign something is off in the first place. What is the point if there is no trust and respect for one another's freedom and ability to make decisions in the best interest of you both and the relationship?

[Jayar]

An ex did that to me. It was awful and violating. Lesson learned, I now don't check my e-mail from my boyfriends' computers.

 

Yeah, change the password.

[xprincessbugx]

I checked my ex boyfriends messenger after we broke up and his e-mail. He later found out and changed his password. My current boyfriend is really good at picking hard passwords that I would never ever guess. Like names of random songs and stuff. I have checked his e-mail without his permission but I told him about it b.c. I felt bad. He was really mad but he changed his password and got over it. His password was the same as his yahoo messenger password which he GAVE me permission to use... just not his e-mail.. but I was curious! Anything I've ever wanted to see or know about he's shown it to me.

[Jayar]

Way i figure is, if someone knows u have their email/messenger password, they'll just cover their tracks anyway. If you NEED to check up, you're probably better off pulling so far back that you almost look clueless, and let HIM trip over his own feet. Or her if she's you're girlfriend.

[lady00]

I wouldn't like it if I were in a relationship and the person looked at my emails. I think some things are private and should not be shared, even with a boyfriend...such as conversations I have with my friends or family in which they disclose personal details about their lives. The idea of someone other than me reading my emails just kind of gives me a bad feeling.