hi~
i've just been so sad lately... in august i was admitted into the hospital because i was going to kill myself, and for a little while, i thought i was actually getting better. however, now i feel like i'm losing myself again. the only difference is: now i'm not scared. i just want to die. so badly. my grades are dropping in school, my friends don't really care about me, i know my parents care, but i can't stand it at home, and the medicine i'm supposed to be taking is with my weight and my sleep. it wasn't helping at all, so i went off it. i cry every day, and i cut. everything i see looks like a weapon, and i'm so tempted to just go for it. i know that it would cause my parents and family lots of pain, but if they only knew what i was feeling, maybe they would understand... obviously, part of me wants to stay alive... otherwise i wouldn't be writing this and sort of askin for help. i'd just be gone. but, that small part of me is diminishing so quickly, and my therapist is awesome, but i don't even think she knows what to do with me any more. i feel like such a lost cause. i want to disappear... help
~dyingfaery
