Notagoodninja

It's hard not to wish horrible things upon you. Just so you know... I can totally see you in prison in 10 years maybe 5 years...you will just get more controlling with your next victim... You are totally un-apologetic just like a true socio path. And you don't think you've done anything wrong. It's just crazy... You feel 0 remorse. You feel 0 guilt... You threw away your family, but you don't care...why should you/. you're not normal If it's any consolation even though 99% of people do not change, I promise you change is possible. I myself wish very bad things upon you. But maybe one day God will show you some grace/mercy Maybe you're life is hell because you are so F in the head....maybe God will feel bad for you and give you a second chance. Maybe He can heal your brain nuerons...seriously. Maybe He can cast out the demons you've let inside yourself while studying stuff like witchcraft and reading the Satanic bible I guess you didn't think you could get demons reading stuff like that but you've opened doors because what I saw the last few weeks we were together is someone FULL of demons, what you had was not of this world. you don't want to end up a crazy person. I hope I don't find out you're in an institution one day crying in your closet with your imaginary friends. Seriously though............look how far you've progressed under your very eyes and yet you still deny the harsh reality of who you are?

Thanks girl I saw that today here's a good link too' link removed My ex used pity too!!! NO KIDDING! He used pity to reel me in now he's prob doing it to his next victim! GOOD THING we are done with these guys even if the memory hurts...we have to bury our love and realize they sociopaths never are capable of LOVE!

21 days break up, 20 days NO CONTACT........................................ Feels like forever when you have constant NIGHTMARES, haha... Anyway I cannot wait until the day where it's been like 300 days no contact and I am possibly loving on someone MORE DESERVING!!!!!!!!!!!!

"In reality, the narcissist loves not anyone, not even himself, but rather falls in love with the 'impression' he makes upon others, and falsely feels love toward those who are most in awe of this 'impression'. Should the object of his love suddenly see through his fake image and find fault or flaw in his 'real' self, he will become outraged and full of disdain, disrespect, and an intense and contemptuous dislike and despite for that person. In a heartbeat his love for that person will become replaced with a loathsome disgust. His real self has been discovered and revealed."

P.S... I was looking at some pics of myself taken a few days ago. I look so much better. I have lost like 4 years of age off my face. I feel less stressed. I look younger I feel younger. I've been getting carded again!! My face is fuller and more youthful all of the sudden. My body is tighter, I'm working out and getting fit again. I feel great!!! I am so excited to see what life has in store for me!

So this is the best way I can describe my feelings. My bay has died. You are dead. You are gone. You are buried. We spent 4 years together. For 4 long years we had ups and downs. We had good times and bad times. We were in love, and fighting. We had passion and romance. We had hardships. We went through a lot. We made thousands of memories. Memories upon memories. Here is how I view our situation. Our relationship, our passionate/heated marriage, has died. You are now dead. What I am now experiencing is the trauma, grief, the memories. Re-living them much as if someone truly died and you re-live the memories and you never forget them. I will never forget you or forget being married to you. I will never forget "us". But the moment I left in October, that is when you died in my heart and mind forever. I know going forward that the memories will linger. That is OK. I can accept that and I can grieve. But you are dead to me forever. There are no new memories to be made. I will never speak to you again. If you were to contact me, I would delete it and ignore it. IF I need to contact you, I will go around you to your family member or a lawyer. As if you were truly dead and I was going through your attorney... The way you act, the way you write, reminds me of how charming, manipulative and deceitful you really are. You are not sweet. You are not charming. You are not a diplomat like you may delusional believe yourself to be. You are not a nice person. You are not a good man. You are dead to me.

I freaking hate you. You better believe "there is too much history". And you better believe the only unhealthy one around here with a disorder is YOU, you're an anti social WOMANIZER and no one will STAY with you. First one stayed 9 years Second one not even 4 Next one will be 2 Next one will be 6 months Next one will be 3 months Loser. you've lost me. Goodbye.

Bay, As much as I can say left and right I'm over you, I have been wasting my life the past 3 weeks mourning for you. It's really sad. All the lost sleep. I can't even sleep. How do YOU sleep? Do you sleep good at night? Are you happier without me cuddling with you and supposedly ending up on your side or stealing the covers? Eventually I am going to have to not spend much time on these boards. Eventually I need to get my sleep back to normal. Eventually I HAVE to forget about you, my head hurts soooooooo bad. I'm getting all bloated and gross from staying up late and drinking juice and soda instead of sleeping. I could be focusing on working out a lot more if I was off line more often. I need to learn my lesson....about late nights, lack of sleep & no routine. That's one thing so addicting about our co-dependent relationship was you forced me to go to bed every night. Now, here I am 3 weeks later, lack of sleep, massive migraine and it's almost 3am... Last night I was up til 8:30am...and I've had to work two jobs! Anyway, I came on here to ask you this. I was in the shower and I was thinking how unhappy I always was WITH you. I was unhappiest the most when I was showering all by myself and feeling neglected by your cold demeanor. So that was alright. But then I got very upset. You did not just abandon me. You abandoned my little kid. You were the step dad they looked up to My kid ADORED you for the longest time. You were their BEST FRIEND. Do you remember trips with my kid to the zoo? Do you remember feeding the ducks together...you sat alone on the pic nic bench not really participating but I tried so hard to be good to you. I know for reals you are really sick, you cannot change, and no girl can stay with you forever. It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awful. Anyway, we got out a toy for my kiddo and when you couldn't get it to work you threw your red bull accross the parking lot in anger. The first year you were much nicer because you didn't have me in your clutches yet. I was not a sure thing. Do you remember coming to my apartment, setting up toys for my kid- playing together for hours? You would go to Toys R Us sometimes and you would bring my child a gift...and play with my kid...I say that cause I don't want to say boy or girl on here. But you would play with my kid and have so much fun Remember the hugs and kisses that you got? Remember the bubble baths Remember the spilled milk and juice on the floor or the messes little kids make Do you remember the picture my kid would draw you...me, and you and them...smiling, a family Remember how they would sometimes call you "dad" ? When I think about that I realize how serious this situation really is. You REALLY ARE abusive. You REALLY DID leave bruises on my body for 3 years out of the 4 You REALLY DID break EVERYTHING for almost the whole 4 years I REALLY DID give up everything for you and tried to let you have your way all the time I know your friends don't believe me, and you probably lie to them. But you REALLY DID rarely touch me during the 4 years You REALLY DID reject me the last year YOU REALLY ARE a womanizing pig... There is something wrong with you. I am really not sure what. You are battling inner demons though. Not sure where they come from. Your behavior is like a drug addict, it's sooooo WEIRD What normal person did the behaviors you did? I don't get it...I can't even put a finger on it! You are much much more than a sociopath. Maybe you are a psycho path as well. You don't take a vulnerable girl with a little child of 1 years old...pretend to take them in, pretend to be a family, pretend to take care of them and be a provider a father and a husband...and then abuse us...you are mentally ill but I am not really sure why. I know your mom was mean to you. So was mine. I know you got molested. I just don't know what else made you this way but it had to of been being molested I guess you are dealing with rage and anger and hatred and abuse. PLEASE do not get married to some poor girl again. Please esp DO NOT marry a girl with kids. Please...do not have kids. Get a vasectomy or something so you are sure to be childless. You will just be abusive. Cold and distant. Cold and distant. Cold cold cold and distant. I seem to be attracted to very dangerous, cruel men. So many men out there are so much better. What's wrong with ME. That's what made me break up with you. Not even so much the landing in the hospital as the cold/distant/ I got from you. I recognize that. I know that sign all too well having fallen victim to it a few times in my lifetime. That is the sign that a guy is done. He is done with you and no longer happy. Odd thing is, all my ex boyfriends- every single one- has mentioned regretting letting me go. One guy approached my parents about it recently. Another last year and also last year one of their moms came up to me hoping I was single cause their son was single and they wanting us back together again (yuck) Anyway. Why would you let someone like me go? I am just attracted to losers. You have what you have a lot because of luck. But even though you got successful you have self-destructed and now have nothing. Ha- as the country songs go- you've lost your house, your dog, your girl. You even lost your step child. You lost your things. And all because of you. A loser is obviously born and apparently can't change. I think weed destroyed your brain cells, perhaps that is what turned you into some kind of monster. Have fun removing my child's bed, dresser and the rest of the toys from their room. When you do I hope you remember you did not just break one heart.

All it's taken for me to stop crying is to realize what a dumb@$$ I am that my ex can prob read these posts, lol!! NO MORE TEARS! Anyway Springs you're sooooooooooooo sweet you remind me of myself, you take everything personally and to heart, you're a very passionate/emotional girl that's how I am too.....we are both very romantic-hearted individuals I wish you were close so I could give you a big hug and a box of kleenex and some beer! Haha... I don't know how many relationships you've had but if it's any consolation you WILL love again. Your heart will heal. I've been in love and broken hearted before too...and after a couple years I no longer had any feelings at all for them. Yeah it took awhile and that really SUCKS but well look at it this way... If you got to eat a doughnut and some cookies every day you'd get all used to them and love them and get into a routine. Now if someone came along and said NO MORE DOUGHNUTS AND COOKIES...................yeah you would cry and kick and scream a month at the most and you might think about the cookies etc but bottom line is, put your thoughts onto something else. Every time you catch yourself thinking about the cookies you say NO! Don't DWELL or LUST over the cookies, lol... Don't give yourself much more time to grieve over the loss of the cookies! Just start focusing on something else so that your mind creates some new memories!

I didn;t even get the last of my things he changed the locks anyway but when you are REALLY over someone you don't WANT your things back In our breakups we'd play that game of "oh well I have to go get my things..." and Id go running back to get them and of course end up back to gether But this last time, I didn't want anything. I never will go back. I never will ...I can never look at him, it wont ever happen. Then you will know you're truly done.

Yeah I miss that too, but it wasn't that way for a long, long time.

Sorry Aleina2011 I have a hard time with weekends too lol but at least your ex can't read your ventings But anyway try to fill your weekends with productivity! Like today I went to a football game it was SOOOO great! And today I work all day! Will keep me busy

All I have to say now is ************************************************** I can't believe I was dumb enough to use this email addy to write you and your friend and then have this account set up. I can't even believe I did that for reals. All I can say is, everything was true, you're still a cheating, womanizing sociopath. But your penis isn't small, so don't worry about that. Getting caught doesn't justify your abusive actions against me at all. It's just humiliating to me, that's all..and I look dumb for getting your friend involved. I really feel bad about that. He's all that you have. Ya know, I've gotten hit on in the last few weeks but I turned peeps down because I was pining for you and a masochist I guess. But now that I know you've been reading my posts and probably laughing your butt off at me, I realize I'm a fool and I have to move on now. Doesn't mean I will get married again, I don't believe in that not at this age! We've had 2 marriages by our ages and it's nothing to be proud of. Again, you probably wouldn't understand anyway because you don't believe you did wrong. You still have an inflated sense of self worth. But anyway, to save me from further mortification I move on tonight. No more messages on divorce and healing. Doesn't mean I will rly go jump in the sack, but I should def move on and try to find someone to love me and someone whose shoulders I can cry on and who will hold me.

Thank U thats very sweet

oh and im mad that you wanted a 3some with my best friend the first week i dated you and you thought she was hotter than me but i thought you chose ME come to find out you just COULDNT date her cause she lived in another state! JERK! in the meantime the guy i set HER up with, HE LIKED ME and was five million times hotter than you but I was a good person, not a cheater, and i would NEVER of dreamed of saying something Like "i want a 3some with him" or whatever..........i totally dissed him to be with you...............and all these years later u dont want me anyway!

I'm sorry but now that I am on a roll here...... And remembering our past I am still mad about the time I come over and you have a pillow stuffed behind your bed post WHY would you need that? I am still mad that a girl texted you when we were dating and said your name yet you still deny knowing who she was! I am still mad about the transexual girl you were looking at on your computer the first couple weeks we met I am still mad about the teenager you lusted over at Chilis the first couple weeks we met

Dear ( ) Ya know what... Actually when you and I would go the mall all you would do is look at teenagers like 14-19 and it made me sick...youre a freaking pedaphile dude Let some new girl put up with you! When I was at that mall with you, this year you never wanted to hold my hand You'd get P'D if I got some popcorn or something then you'd bi##$ at me for not getting you any after you told me you didn't want any You would flip out at people for the slightest thing You'd get hard if a hot chic came on the screen (yet NEVER hard for ME!) We would leave and immediately you would walk in front of me so that you could check out other girls (more specifically, teenagers!) Ya know, I thought of something, you never bought me Valentines gifts, birthday gifts and flowers or Mothers day gifts. I never got anything and I never complained ONCE like most girls would do because I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend and wife. Do you remember in the beginning when i would get all dolled up for you? I'd do my hair, makeup and nails...cute little dresses with heels and I would proudly hold onto you even though I am sorry to say this but everyone I now says I am hotter than you. But I was so happy to be with you you're all I cared about. I would NEVER look at other men I would have felt too guilty about it and disrespectful Do you remember how we would stop at the sunglasses place? I would buy you a new pair of Oakleys and we would go share pretzel bites...I WOULD FEED YOU them. I would even dip them into your cheese dude...who does that...................... We would go into the bookstore together and read books together I always would be willing to go into YOUR stores but you NEVER wanted to go into mine............... I would get ridiculed and called a "man pleaser" and a "tool" if I was like "hey I wanna go into abercrombie" or "hey I wanna get something from pac sun" you always put me down.......... The first two years when we were just dating you would call me a "sl#$" and a "WH0$R" ...............you would tell me I just dressed up because I wanted men to look at me! Here's the kicker. ... If I dressed all hot for you I would get put down and ridiculed. But If I dressed DOWN, you would IGNORE ME, walk in front of me and openly look teenage girls UP AND DOWN you may of well been licking your lips and screwing them right in front of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember one of our first dates. We went into the mall and you were carrying my bags, opening doors up for me, such a sweet guy, charming such a gent. Boy was I FOOLED COMPLETELY!!!!!!!! You are truly an EVIL person Trust me, I am getting more beautiful and more confident without you!!!!!!!!!!! I believe when you see me again one day I will look 5x hotter and 5x more confident I don't even care if you "regret" losing me. what if you don't. you're a socio path. You just hate me because I had too much spirit to break.

Dear God, Seriously..please punish ( ) and make him wreck his car or something stolen out of it, make his penis not work! haha

So wow yeah i pretty much find out your out at a movie with a girl at the very mall you and I met. I mean, how lame and low can you go? I say this in all honesty. I don't want you back. Some other girl can put up with your abuse. I don't even care. I'm not even worried about it. I just hope God punishes you for your abusing women, more specifically me since I am the most recent victim, by giving you a HORRIBLE date. I hope it goes horrible I hope she's turned off by you I hope that you look ugly to her and nobody wants you. I hope God punishes you by making you lonely for a LONG TIME so you learn your lesson!

Sooooooo Saturday night. A week gone by since I found out you were going out late at night... A week ago I was crying for hours over you. Tonight was GREAT went to the football game and I couldn't believe how many guys were checking me out! It felt WEIRD! I am not used to that, I am used to feeling worthless and unhappy and down! So ...you are deleting a bunch of boards you go to, and your friend deleted his Facebook...kinda weird... I mean I get why you would delete stuff but why is your BF deleting HIS facebook that doesn't make sense?? Did you two realize you're gay lovers? Haha...you made him get rid of his FB cause you hated it so much? Haha... I'm sure you are going out tonight. Who knows maybe You're getting laid. I should get hurt by that but surprisingly I don't care. Now last night I got super sad and thought about you for hours, but I knew it was just a feeling and emotion it was not a truth/reality... I know that I will be OK! It's weird...tonight I felt HAPPY...

Emotions are so odd my sweetness, my love, my one true love forever. Earlier today hated you. Now in the last hour swept with emotion. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much babesters, So sad I lost my sweet boi

I am mad at you today...saw the new song you posted. You are as bi polar, wishy washy and moody and hormonal as a girl. It is sad to me that you hate me and disklike me SO MUCH that you don't even try to contact me, you don't know what all went on, yet you still don't contact me. Sitting there by yourself absolutely KNOWING 100%%%% YOU ABUSED ME YOU PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL you destroyed our stuff you only got nice cuz you didn't want the cops called on you then you were cold and distant all over again. I had new memories today of the past. When we sat in the burger king parking lot last year eating together, that was fun. We used to have a lot of fun, didn't we? What happened? It was YOU who fell out of love...not the other way around. Sometimes Unless I see a picture, I forget what you look like and its only been a few weeks. Everything has been a blur. I was up all night last night again and sleeping this morning. I'm going through soooooo much!!!!!!!! It makes me sad just how absolutely SELFISH you are,. You owe me money yet you're gonna go blow it on going out with women tonight. You're not honorable at all you don't respect the fact that you took my hard earned money for my child and myself and you are not even good or honorable enough to call or text or have someone else call/text and give me back that money. But oh no you even changed the house lock so I can't get in to get the rest of my things. You're a very rude, bad, evil no good person. You ignored me at the mexican restaurant and acted embaressed of me a couple months back Then the tires..you ignored me and were cold and heartless I would send u picts u NEVER would comment on them you ignored me You are a total porn addict who can';t get it up for his own wife, I hope you fail miserably in bed with anyone you try to scew. I hope your peepee falls off. I hope a skank you sleep with gives you an std. I hope your next gf gets knocked up because I know how much you hated kids In the meantime I hope u run into me while I look cute and Im out with the girls or friends having a GREAT time I hope we meet at a dance club someday and I can get my freak on with some hot guy in front of you

You just like to play games with my heart.

So, you got the divorce papers today. I know you posted a dating ad online. Honestly I was not suprised...it didn't surprise me you'd move on so fast cuz I had already diagnosed you this past month as a sociopath and my counselor has to without my telling her I thought you were one You're a wife beater. An abuser. You're a liar and a master manipulator. I treated you like GOLD. I kinda laughed because I don't care if you meet a SMOKIN hot babe. NOBODY will compare to me.......nobody will serve you the way that I did. NObody will treat you good and bring you gifts and cook you dinner Nobody will rub your feet and back all the time and kiss your face and love on you and cudz with you nobody will give you as many pet names as I gave you and put up with your weird quirks........... One funny thing you're gonna realize is...youre too inexperienced to know how good you had it but I am the BEST in bed you EVER will get, that I know. I may not be the most hot but I AM the best in bed and NOBODY will compare. ... A few meaningless one night stands will leave you empty and unsatifised feeling like a fool...........then you will kick yourself when you realize how good you had it with me and how badly you screwed things up. You THOUGHT you wanted teenagers, trust me you dont/ I was HORRIBLE in bed when I Was younger and didn't know much. I had to grow . You are too old to be with teenagers dude. Even if that's what you think you want, we are not teens anymore we are too smart now and wise in our years.......... You will regret destroying our love. I almost feel sorry for you cuz you're prolly thinking "ima get back at HER" and I will show HER............ but really you are the one that is going to be sad and lonely Nobody will love you forever....... Eventually the girls will realize who you are...an abuser and user....and a MESS. they will leave you like me and the others left you......... In the meantime I am BLOSSOMING without you. I am learning to feel better about myself. I am trying to work on my self esteem. All of the sudden I feel younger and my boobs seem bigger LOL I am working out faithfully on a daily basis. I want to look better in my 30's than I did in my 20's There are plenty of hot women a little older than me...Jessica Alba, Biel, Kardashian, JLo, Natalie Portman to name a few... Women from dancing with the stars...they are in their 40's some of them, with SMOKIN hot bods...... SO I know I CAN and WILL get there................ Next time you run into me I sure hope I am dolled up, free spirited at the mall or something and I hope I have rock hard abs and shapely legs and a tight ass cause I'm working my rear end off to regain what I lost............. I try not to let my mind wander too far these days. It's not that I don't want to know. I wish I knew everything. But it's better for me to just focus on why I left, why I am not with you. WHat YOU did to destroy me and our MARRIAGE. In talking with some normal guys, I realize how unhealthy you are. I did not do much to sabotage the relationship, YOU did. I guess it's motivation, you thought I was NOTHING you had 0 respect for me, but I will show you how awesome I am .