Notagoodninja

i miss holding your hand i miss impatiently tapping my feet atthemovies M..............i love andm ,,iss i missu so much'i would rather give u attention than get t it ad thats hardbut i love u more

ive lodt my eill y ive lost my will to live

freckles i forgive you dont do it again email me i missyu

Hey M I'm totally drunk so this is therla real me i love you pleasecomeback to me pleae you can be hnest jonest honest&&& tell me plz be honest i will behonest M I am gonna forigve yu I forgive you for cheating we love eachother M if you come back tomorrow...i am there last chance irarely getdrunk i miss you wookers ia your sweet peas i dont want anyoneelse i promise'

Wooks, you did this to yourself. Nobody made you suffer, YOU chose and created YOUR FATE! After the sociopath acquires greater self knowledge and self mastery, he may still be unaware that he is different. Instead, he may assume that other humans have just completed their own similar transformation. When the sociopath learns that he is the only one like him... it can be disappointing.It can be exhilarating too, but it will always be lonely. It is a very lonely life. You can go to bars/clubs You can meet women and think you're on top of the world! You can even pretend...for a time...to be happy and convince yourself you're normal... BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT! YOU ARE NOT NORMAL! YOU ARE LONELY BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT YOUR SINS UPON YOUR OWN HEAD. HOW CAN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, WHEN YOU SABOTAGE YOURSELF? So go ahead, PROVE to yourself you're normal. PROVE to yourself you have it all together...go get your girlfriends, go ruin some new girls life until she too leaves you. You already told me from the beginning we would end, YOU ENDED IT, NOT ME, YOU CHOSE THIS LIFE FOR YOURSELF. YOU ARE a sociopath. The only way you can change, is to go find God...seriously. There is no other hope for you. Man cannot help you. And the devil will just drag you deeper into your own hell. Again I reiterate...go out...go get laid...go find someone you think you love...go re-marry...go fulfill your "dreams" but IN A YEAR you will already be back to yourself...LONELY. In two years you will be....LONELY in four years you will be LONELY IN 10 years you will be LONELY In 20 years you will have gone thru like 10 more relationships YOU WILL BE ALONE not only that your condom will have broken how long can you play with fate...how long can you play with God before He allows justice? YOUR CONDOM WILL BREAK you will have a kid you will have more responsibilities...she too will leave you Then you will find some other woman, SHE WILL LEAVE YOU TOO And it may seem OK cuz you're in your 30's but in 20 years you will be in your 50's AND ALONE and that may not seem too bad but you could live til your 90 your gramps has That is FORTY YEARS of LONELINESS and keep in mind your life seems soooo long now YET YOU AREn'T EVEN 40 so you haven't even lived 40 years YET! Imagine living 40 years of lonliness from 50-90 and by then nobody is gonna want you you won't be hot anymore you're not your dad, your hair line is already receding, it WILL fall out, it skips a generation You don't work out, you are gonna look gross at 50 dude cuz you will be all skinny and disgusting and saggy How do YOU KNOW you will have kept your job all those years? and by 50/60 when you retire...who'se gonna want you when you are living on a little bit a month, you think some chic is gonna put up with you breaking her stuff and destroying everything when she's 50/60 and even if you're 50/60 and she is 30 let's say you got lucky well you can't even hold down a 30 year now that your hot with money! you think you're gonna hold down someone 30 when you're 60 and broke?

I took a drive today Time to emancipate I guess it was the beatings made me wise But I'm not about to give thanks or apologize I couldn't breathe holdin' me down Hand on my face kissin' the ground Enmity gauged united by fear 'Posed to endure what I could not forgive... I seem to look away Wounds in the mirror waved It wasn't my surface most defiled Head at your feet fool to your crown Fist on my plate, swallowed it down Enmity gauged, united by fear Tried to endure what I could not forgive Saw things Clearer Once you, were in my...Rearview mirror... I gather speed from you ...... with me Once and for all I'm far away I hardly believe, finally the shades...are raised...hey... Saw things so much clearer Once you, once you... Rearview mirror Saw things so much clearer Once you...oh yeah...

Nice penis pic on Craigslist. What a manwhore

Break up 30 days... No contact 29 days... But have not seen you for almost 31 days in the next hour...WOW a MONTH The longest we've gone was almost 3 weeks so prob 20 days in the past Do you remember the last night we had sex? When I actually wore an outfit for you- my fishnet stockings, anyway...only 23 more months to go until my heart is whole.

Yes thank you!

I love you bay. I love you forever and always. I know we can't be together. I know we are toxic. But I will love you forever and always. You are my one and only. I can die at 80 knowing I loved you. You will prob have been with like 20 other women and married some of em and maybe you will have kids and grandkids. Idk But what I do know is, I don't need anyone else bay. If I had 4 short loving, passionate and hostile years...I am grateful for them even though you are such a psychological mess I hope I was able to bring a little sunshine into your world for a little bit. You know you love me. You know you were supposed to be with me forever. You know we are supposed to grow old together. You know at 80 we were supposed to sit in our rocking chairs on our front porch. I'll always love you bay. I miss you, and I always will even though we couldn't work out. we will never love anyone else as much as we loved each other. I was never insecure about that. I got mad at you a lot, but I knew you loved me. I know you can't love anyone else as much as me. xoxo Sweet Pea

What you've chosen is wrong. The path you've chosen will lead you straight to hell. You should have gotten counseling and therapy and anger management. You should not of acted like a 2 year old throwing temper tantrums. You threw away a perfectly good marriage with your childish behaviour. You're making poor choices for your life. I supported you and loved you 100% in your lifestyle. But this way of going about it is WRONG. You know God doesn't want you doing what you're doing. As much as my flesh wants you to rot in hell for hurting ME, more importantly I am sure God doesn't want your soul in hell forever. You know the truth, you're choosing to live very ungodly. You know God won't bless your life. Your relationships WILL NOT work out, they can't if you're living under a curse Not only have you chosen death and destruction for your life, you are helping doom my life as well because now you've made me have to file for divorce, you were too violent and I didn't have another option. But you as the man and head of the household, you DO and did have an option. If you were a good man, if you want to go to heaven, you should change. You could die any given day in an accident, you could fall off a ladder at work, you could get bit next summer in the fields by a snake. Something could fall on your head. Your life will be instantly over. And for what? A few flings, some porn and pink girl underwear?

I will always love you and feel deeply sorry for what happened to you as a child. You are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo F'd in the head you don't even know who you are. You don't even know that you're gay. We could have at the least been best friends. If being gay was gonna make you happy, I would have accepted you as a friend. Or I could have gotten you some help but I would have been there for you. You push away the very few people in the world that actually care. How long will you isolate yourself making poor decisions about your life? You destroy yourself. Are you sure you want to destroy yourself here on earth Don't you want some happiness in this life... Now, you have to understand I had to leave. I am at the age where I need stability and you are an unstable guy. Also I have my own "inner child" that needs mothering. I can't give 100% and get back 1% I have my own needs in life that have to be met so that I am not destroyed also. But I love you and I miss you. We can't be together, you always told me that I just wish I had of known the truth like you did. I wish you hadn't of led me on.

Hahaha I know I said I wouldn't write you on here, but it sure beats drunk dialing, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo WASTED after one Long Island after the other So my "date" took me out to dance..got me lots of drinks I feel bad, I am totally not into him at all (blond/blue eyes, NOT my type!) It was hard for me cause I am not with him, to keep my eyes in my head, soooooooooo much eye candy OMG!!!!!!!!! I bought this skin tight little shiny brown dress and brown stilettos for the occasion SO OMG I missed dancing SO much. Of course, unfortunately I had to stay loyal to my "date" but he was an awful dancer, lol, and not hot to me AT ALL and what's worse he was all possessive and I was trying SO hard to be a good person haha but I prob failed.......I kept getting freaky with my butt towards him so I could check out the hot guys, and he was soooooooo hard hahahaha it totally turned me off cause I wasn't into him AT ALL. He makes A LOT of money and like, smells good/ dresses metro sexual etc SOOOOO GOOD to me but I AM NOT into blonds!!!!! Anyway I know you prob never believed me, but of course I Turned down sex, he tried to get me to kiss him at the end of the night and kept trying to hold my hand, totally gross YUCK but I SAID NO I always say no! You were the only guy I said yes to...........................sigh. So I was dancing my heart out tonight, and got the nastiest glares from some HOT women, OMG! These women were 10's!!!!!!!!!!! I could not believe it/ That was worth a hundred hot men checking me out! To know HOT WOMEN were insecure around me, I mean HOT HOT like 20 year olds with stunning bright blue eyes tiny size 0 bodies and tight, OMG and they were GLARING at me because I was dancing so fast and hard It made me grin The girls dancing on the bar, I was gonna go do it but didn't want my "date" to be offended But anyway they looked so hot under the light but in the womens bathrooms they went in there and they were soooooooooooooooooo UGLY! I mean those girls were prob like 20 and looked incredible but in the bright bathroom they looked like nappy crack heads and all pale like albino...I could not believe they were the same "gorgeous stripper type girls" I had seen dancing on the bar tops! Amazing what LIGHT can do hahhaaa I had so much fun dancing my heart out. Seriously I was so happy dancing. It was so me, so my element. I was in my place, the dance floor But my date kinda was grossing me out, and I feel bad because like I said this guy treated me like absolute GOLD he kept telling me I was more gorgeous than ANY woman there............................but I only like boys with brown hair and brown eyes! So I could not get into it at all Like I said, when he got all hard cuz I was freak dancing, it totally grossed me out lol poor guy..YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY The girls were so gorgeous tonight, they were so much fun to look at I just could never understand why I can openly look at women and admire them and their fabulous beauty with ANY MAN BUT YOU! Soosoo frustrating! I know you got mad at my jealousy. WHY OH WHY was I soooo jealous of you, I sure wish that I understood When I am with other men, I am NEVER jealous!!!!!!!! They can look at other women and admire them, they can talk to them and flirt with them and I'd prob wanna watch them make out, but it was never like that with you M..............I feel like, if it was maybe you wouldn't of gotten so turned off by me. I guess you were jealous too in a way, but didn't show it at the end I was being loyal too, ya know. I mean, when i was with you I NEVER looked or talked to dudes But going out tonight there was sooo much guys and SOOO cute and I'd find myself locking eyes and I'd wink and flirt and dance and shake my booty and giggle for the attention then I'd look away and ignore em. I never did that when i was with you One guy I wanted so bad to talk to but couldn't cuz I was with this gross dude UGH, I have too much respect and heart to do something sooo mean but he would not stop looking at me while I danced. He was your age and so cocky and confident..he seemed so chill I wanted to get to know him better at the table drinking more, these two boys about 21 were totally just gawking at me and they were gorgeous, I couldn't believe these two boys 9 years younger were staring at me. I knew If I wasn't with this dude, they would have talked to me I don't know, I find myself saying why not? why not talk to them- any age...why not? I mean, you would..................all you did was look at 19 year olds And here I was always ignoring 21 year old boys because I was so loyal to a husband who didn't even DESIRE me I like I said I wish I wasn't with the guy that took me. I am def gonna go out with the girls next time...

I'm going out tonight dude. This will be my last post on E notalone I realized, I am not gonna hang on anymore. I won't be reading your posts on the forums. Also you owe me 1,500.00 you can keep making my car payment until May, or I will take you to small claims court. It's in the divorce paper work, which I am assuming you got along with the decree? Shut the phone off, I don't use it. Bye bye.

Day 27 break up, Day 26 No Contact Seems like an eternity has gone by! Week 1 didn't get out of bed, cried like my life was over. Felt betrayed, hurt and abandoned and neglected. Week 2 constant nightmares and jealousy problems, freaking out wondering what he was doing. Week 3 Acceptance...came to terms with the situation Week 3/4 Anger! Is this part of the grieving process lol. I want him to burn in hell. I pray every day God will punish him. I want him to wreck his car, I want him to lose his job. If I believed in voodoo I'd definitely be stabbing at a replica doll of him bahaha I'm also going through this weird vengeful stage...like it's odd but i WANT him to date other girls, NOBODY will be as good as I was to him, I know that I WANT him to try to have sex with other girls so he can realize how LOUSY he was in bed when they leave him I want him to have sex with girls so he can see how awesome I was in bed I do believe I am the BEST in bed anyone could ever have, and now he can spend the rest of his miserable little life wishing he had of treated me better I want him to sleep with the young girls he always dreamed of so he can see my body looks better than 75% of their's and I am 100%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% better in bed FOR SURE HANDS DOWN and that I do have confidence about! I'm actually very happy he's freaking miserable, I am glad he will go to clubs and be miserable and get drunk Strip clubs? Good! I have stripper friends, I know they want the $ they could give a crap about him, I know how the game is played! I hope they break his heart. He's too smart to think they want him for anything other than his money. Every stripper and escort gets paid to tell men lies they want to hear, that way the men keep coming back and the girls can pay their bills Jealous? The jealousy is gone now. I have this warped, sadistic mindset. I don't care who he's with, he cannot compete with the hunky men I've been with in my lifetime. I've been given strippers numbers, I've had girls throw themselves at at (still) AND GUYS. I can have the best. There's no way he will have what I've had. There's no way he can ever be as good as me or get what I've gotten and experienced. I can sift through gorgeous people and take my pick. And I am picky! He will just take what he can get. Every time I go get myself dinner I am happy I don't have to go make him dinner. Every time I go do something for myself I am relieved he isn't there to drain me. When I pass the doughnut shop I go buy myself some doughnuts, or Starbuck's for coffee and I enjoy every bite/sip and am thankful I am not having to baby that man anymore and treat him like a kid. I almost feel like I had an annoying teenager living with me that was mooching off me. Do I miss him yeah, but I'm glad as H E double hockey sticks that he can go "live" and "mooch" off some other person now. GOOD! Let HER have him! Let HER get put down. Let HER get controlled and bossed around. Let HER lose her place and everything she owns for some douche bag. I can't wait for him to find out he will lose interest in sleeping around, because nothing will compare to his porn addiction. That is what surprises men. When you are a porn addict you can be with porn stars and not get your penis up Because you need porn! So no matter what hot young chic he can get, he will only be able to do it a couple times then he's gonna go soft and not be able to get it up anymore. Most of all looking forward to the night I run into him at a club and he's with some sugar baby he has to pay, when I'm with guys that WANT to be with me, I don't have to pay them.

Woke up to nightmares of you again. Very disturbing. I'm kind of upset this morning because it's not fair that you turned out psycho. All my friends went through marriage problems, including aunts uncles cousins parents relatives yadda yadda....co workers... So many of them get back together and work it out and they are soooo happy With you it's an impossibility because you're a socio path or BPD who the heck knows. But bottom line you're the only man I personally know of whose abusive to their spouse. And you can't stay with someone abusive and you can't make that work out. Anyway I have mixed feelings but mainly I want you to get hurt in a car wreck. Can't God break your leg or something, lol. Also I hope you knock some chic up, seriously! I asked God- let the condom break! Selfish reason to have a kid I guess. And it would be un-fair to the poor girl who got stuck having your kid. But maybe it would make you grow up. I don't know. This is gonna be my last post on here talking to you. I can't do this anymore. I am not convinced that you're not a socio path. You display 99% of the signs for a socio path. You're a horrible, cruel man. Think about it. What if I was the one who did that to you? What if you asked me a couple of questions in bed, got a little moody then all of the sudden I flip out, scream at you, spit all over your face? What if I had you curled in a ball against the wall in the living room as I slashed up all the furniture as I broke everything in sight? As I tore up everything you owned? What if I kicked you to the curb with tears in your eyes. What if I changed the locks and left the receipt out in my car for you to see? And for what? Wouldn't you ask yourself...what did I do to deserve this? I mean come on, who deserves that? I've never done that to you... If there is no hope for you to change, if you are going to just ruin more lives, I hope God strikes you with incurable cancer to humble you, and maybe end your miserable life here on earth. Maybe when you are laying in the hospital bed with cancer, dying, no hair and sick, you will think of how selfish, cruel and miserable you are. I truly hope and pray God vindicates me.

Ya know... NExt time around I'm getting a hottie who totally digs me... I wont be worrying about him checking out teenagers non stop I can walk through the mall hand and hand and ENJOY shopping!!!! And I wont be checking out guys either! LIKE I NEVER DID ANYWAY BECAUSE I HAD RESPECT, SOMETHING YOU LACKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was the first day I genuinely was like so happy to be single. Went with the fam to pick sisters wedding gown SO MUCH FUN just a girls day out My sisters are soooo confident, everywhere we went they got hit on and oogled over It was so much fun hanging out with them, they are sooo much younger than I am, it made me feel like a teenager again.....I was goofing off and dancing with them down the mall isles..........being dorks....they constantly checked guys out and got checked out Last night out with sis and kiddo and got hit on by a cop. Sis says when we left the cop was checking out my butt...made me feel good esp coming from a cop since I've never been able to get out of a ticket haha and he was super cute about 35 Today the girls would be like "SEE YOU ARE getting checked out" and they would point and sure enough guys ages like 23-45 or so were looking at me, I couldn't believe it. See, the last 4 years I never noticed guys checking me out, my eyes were for you only. I seriously never checked em out! Today I let myself go, after all, you never stopped! You always got to check girls out Seriously it was fun, so many guys checked me out even early 20's and that was pretty shocking because that rarely happens at least I never knew A couple times 19 yr old sis got annoyed cause the guys she was checking out were checking ME out, no way!!!! Hottest guy of all worked there, about my age with a ball cap SUPER cute..............they all said he was eyeballing me, seriously I don't look for that stuff and could hardly believe it. I seriously don't get checked out I feel like...my confidence is returning for the first time since the day I met you Remember when i met you....at the mall.......all sassy and very confident and HAPPY well you took that away from me......................... But today it was returning even 1% is better than 0! I checked out a couple of hotties today and I was suprised---they were looking at me if I'd turn around super fast. I was told some guys were looking at my boobs...no freaking way!!!

Judging by the sick feeling I've had and anxiety the last 3 hrs I can only think that you are in bed with someone else. Thanks.

Going on week 4 no contact This is the LONGEST we've gone no contact in FOUR YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MM... you made your bed now LAY in it! rot in hell

"Irreplaceable" To the left To the left To the left To the left Mmmm to the left, to the left Everything you own in the box to the left In the closet, that's my stuff Yes, if I bought it, baby, please don't touch (don't touch) And keep talking that mess, thats fine Could you walk and talk, at the same time? And it's my name thats on that jag So go move your bags, let me call you a cab Standing in the front yard, telling me How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout How I'll never ever find a man like you (you SO do that...) You got me twisted You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I can have another you in a minute Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby) You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I can have another you by tomorrow So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' You're irreplaceable? So go ahead and get gone Call up that chick, and see if shes home Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know What did you think I was putting you out for? (you thought I was naive) Because you was untrue Rolling her around in the car that I bought you Baby, drop them keys Hurry up, before your taxi leaves Standing in the front yard, telling me How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout How I'll never ever find a man like you You got me twisted You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I can have another you in a minute Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby) You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I will have another you by tomorrow So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' You're irreplaceable (irreplaceable)? So since I'm not your everything (irreplaceable) How about I'll be nothing (nothing)? Nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing) Baby I won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear for you) I won't lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep) 'Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is) Replacing you is so easy To the left, to the left. To the left, to the left. Mmmmm To the left, to the left. Everything you own in the box to the left To the left, to the left. Don't you ever for a second get to thinking You're irreplaceable? You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I can have another you in a minute Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby) You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I can have another you by tomorrow So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'? You must not know 'bout me (baby) You must not know 'bout me I can have another you in a minute Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute You can pack all your bags we're finished (you must not know 'bout me) 'Cause you made your bed now lay in it (you must not know 'bout me) I could have another you by tomorrow Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' You're irreplaceable?

So I went grocery shopping tonight for the first time in a month... It felt odd not throwing things in the cart for you......not picking out some angry bird stuffed animals... It blows my mind that you are willing to give up someone you love for your own pride... I wanna be like...dude are you freaking CRAZY....I did EVERYTHING for you...................BUT yeah, you are crazy, you're a sociopath SIGH. Sucks knowing you can never change, you're not like most of these peoples stories of a normal person breaking up with each other and maybe getting back together Im sitting here chowing down on my roast beef...mmm with all the works SO OOOO good!! I havent eaten anything but crackers for almost a month! I watched Sons last night...it was AMAZING I almost cried 3x.............I felt myself really able to GET INTO IT which was AMAZING............for four years I could never enjoy tv without you... I never realized how much WORK I put into our relationship, it was like a part time or full time JOB Today you posted a new song...............about if your girl is gonna come back Not sure WHICH girl that was talking about but if it was me..IF...................here's my reply to YOU!

P.S...I wonder how long you could read a Bible before turning completely insane and throwing it against the wall or foaming at the mouth/ Try it...I dare you.