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Fame1977

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Everything posted by Fame1977

  1. Based on what was essentially a teaser for the movie I wanted to figure out what it was, I started the Mortal Engines series. I'm early in, but I like it so far.
  2. I am starting to read the Transall Saga. I'm not far, but it seems like it will be a cool read.
  3. I'm reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
  4. I just started Ready Player One. It seems right up my alley.
  5. I am reading This Song Will Save your Life by Leila Sales
  6. This isn't really a no contact message, as much as it is somewhere to put my thoughts. It's probably silly since the only one that can answer what is going on in your head is you. I'm not sure why you came back, if you didn't want to try harder than you are trying right now. Usually I wouldn't freak out, but for real, ever since what happened with us before my head and my heart are a bit fragile. When we did hang out and see each other, I really thought it was amazing. I hope I didn't scare you off. I know we aren't serious or anything, it's just the same thing is happening that you did before so I'm lost as what to do. Do I just keep waiting around? I don't know anymore
  7. This is the 4 trillionth time I have written on here. I don't know what to say anymore. I feel stupid saying I miss you all the time. You keep saying it and kept saying me songs and song lyrics and memories, so I thought I we could try again. I guess I should get the hint that you never re added me on FB and that you won't see me. It's just harder since we talk every day. I miss you. There have even been two days that we were texting then you just didn't say anything at all. I'm stupid for thinking you want to see me I'm sure. It just makes me sad how it all went down. I miss you the same amount I missed you from when we broke up. I wish that wasn't happening 10 months later. I miss you.
  8. I am going to try to tackle Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol. Russian literature is very challenging to me, so I hope I can take up this challenge.
  9. I keep trying to see you and it seems like it probably wont happen any time soon. I don't know what's going on with you. You delete me off of FB and I ask to see if I can get added back on and you say yes, but don't add me. You make sort of plans to maybe do something and you back out. You say you miss me. You send me songs that remind you of me. I'm not sure what to say. I tried again yesterday to see how you feel, and all I get was I agree and that Im your best friend and that you miss me. You didn't say you are dating anyone, so maybe you just don't want me to know. I don't know. I guess I should finally stop thinking about it. I still have all these amazing memories of you. I miss you.
  10. I feel weird typing in this slot again for the second time in two days. I break this No Contact thing all the time. Once again I put myself out there again to you, and all you say is I agree and that you miss me too. I know I should stop trying and just stop thinking about you like that, but I can't and it sucks. I should read between the lines and realize a second chance isn't coming any time, or at least any time soon. It just stinks knowing that someone as perfect for me like you are decided this. And to make sort of plans and back out on me. I guess it is just exhausting believing that you want to see me again. I know I should move on but somehow can't. You gave him 38 chances and me one, and that makes me mad. But you're my best friend. It all just sucks.
  11. We still talk every day 10 months after we broke up. What makes it worse is that I still have feelings for you even though I have not seen you since last December. You are my very best friend in the Universe. It also kills me when you say you miss me. Then you sort of make plans with me, and then back out. That kills me even worse. I get upset when you don't text back. It shouldn't I shouldn't care, but it does. It's none of my business really. But there are also times when you don't text back, and double check if I am mad, then sometimes you act like nothing happened. My heart still belongs to you. You may be seeing someone else, again, after saying you miss me and want to see me and get together. This hurts me more than I can explain. You choosing someone over me while we were dating, was awful, I never was given time to get over you. It is my fault, but I've already stated you're my best friend. I know I miss you still the same amount as I did. I don't know. It sucks. If you are dating another person over giving me another chance, please just tell me how you feel. I miss you.
  12. I'm reading The 5th Wave. The author's name escapes my mind at the moment. I tried to read the Divergent series, but I couldn't take it after the first book. It just dragged. I also read Me, Earl and the Dying Girl. It was very good.
  13. This is pretty much the opposite and that we talk all the time. In fact it's even weirder that you asked if I was mad at you for NOT talking to you. I have a sneaking suspicion you are trying to get back with him and not sure about it, yet. I really am sorry for dumping all that stuff on you today. I was going on not so much sleep, and I couldn't take it eating me up inside. The fact you gave a vague answer, sucks. Bad. I wish you would have said yes or no to seeing someone. Seriously. It's pretty simple. I'm trying to move past something so I CAN BE your friend.
  14. So, even though I am feeling lousy, I was doing pretty good about being your friend. I'm sorry I slipped up yesterday and said I missed one of our things that we did. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just kind of slipped out. I feel lousy now for saying it. I don't think it's an "upper hand" issue with either of us. I just didn't want to seem needy. And you saying you missed it too, made it feel like I should have hope still. I probably shouldn't but you know. Oh well.
  15. I don't know what is happening with us now. I know I said I wanted to keep talking to you, and I do, and you do. But it's just weird. Having you say you missed talking to me last night set me back. You probably don't know what you're doing to me, and I thought it would make me happy, and part of me is. And part of me wants you to go away. I still love you. In love with you. Maybe it's all new, and I'm sure it'll all fade. I'm not sure if you've moved on. Or what.
  16. The one thing that I wish is to go back. In retrospect, I think No Contact was a horrible idea. And I wish I could go back. I was so excited for the date that we were talking again, and we were going to work on us. I poured my heart out and you gave me a vague answer. It was probably your way of saying it was over. And not hurting me, but it still stung a bit. I was hoping the No Contact would make it easier to miss you. It didn't make it easier. I still miss everything. I wish that I would get honesty from you, if you have moved on with someone else, even though initially you said you hadn't. I would think I would deserve that. I don't think that will happen. It just upsets me that you gave up on us. I guess I still think our story isn't over. You're probably with someone else now. Or maybe not. I don't know. I thought I deserved better than what happened. I have read and read our past texts, from you saying you loved me, it slowly went from you saying I was distant (which I guess I was getting since we didnt see each other more), to you saying you were feeling lonely, to you always being busy, to you saying you were confused and scared, to having your ex blocked and not talking to him, to having him over on Christmas and it being hard to call for a break since you loved me, Im never going to be sure. I know I keep talking to you. Hoping we're not done, maybe? But I don't know.
  17. I'm trying to go NC. It's so hard. I don't know if you've moved on with him or not. Or if there is someone else or not. It was kind of frustrating not really getting a goodbye answer from you. But I didn't want to push you further. Instead, you gave me that vague answer, now, I don't think it means you wanted to fight for us anymore. Because you kept giving the same answer you've always given. I'm lost. I feel lost without you. I'm serious. I went by advice and am doing the NC route, I'm not even sure it's the right path to take. I think we were meant for each other. I mean that, with every ounce of my heart. So maybe if you figure it out, we'll get another chance.
  18. Well, I have already contacted you twice. The first to see if you were ok, and the next to see if you wanted to break the NC rule that I set. I feel lousy. The one last night about the NC, was stupid, I was just so excited to talk to you again. But then you didn't text back. At all. So, I guess I get that point. Unless it was a mistake. I'm sorry. I really am. So, I left my phone at home. I am not sure what would be worse at this point, you texting, or you not texting. I miss you. A lot. A lot more than that. You are the first person I want to tell about anything, and everything. You were the shoulder I leaned on. I'm not sure why I put you on such a pedestal. After you've been there for me so many times. This whole situation is just terrible, and I feel terrible as well. You were my best friend, before we even dated, making it worse.
  19. The two weeks of not talking is almost over. I know I broke it once, after ten days, but I hope that doesn't ruin things. You're not officially my ex yet, but it's weird. I've never not talked to someone on purpose before. I know these two weeks have been brutal to me. Mainly because you really are my best friend. I still believe in us, and you haven't told me not to. So I hope this time has helped you in your thoughts. I can't wait to talk to you again. I love you.
  20. Well. I gave in after 10 days. I'm glad to see you're doing ok. This whole thing is weird to me since, we're not even officially broken up. Maybe you're afraid to tell me, or something. I don't know. I do know this being in limbo thing bites.
  21. I know that officially we aren't broken up. And you said you wanted a break and space. I'm sorry but that confused me a little, since the way you were talking it seemed as if you wanted to stay with me, and you were talking about things that happen in July. It stinks not talking to you. You truly are my best friend. Give or take a few months or days here and there, we've talked all the time. The truth is that it hurt me when I saw your ex there and not me. I have no right to say who you can and can't see, and I'm glad you're a forgiving person, but always saying you're busy and making time for him, kid of shattered me a bit. And I got mad. This idea of not talking to you with the idea after it's done, we work on us, seemed good, but it's hard. I don't need to two weeks to know that I'm still madly in love with you. I can't wait til it's over. I want to talk to you so badly. From what you say, the problems you with have with us, isn't with me, it's with time and being scared, we can work those out, well if you want. I promise.
  22. I know it's only been 3 days, but I miss you like crazy. I'm trying to give you space but you keep texting me and it's driving me nuts. It doesn't make this whole situation easier for me. Maybe it does for you. You really have been my best friend for like 5 years. It was a great relationship, and I'm not sure what happened. I get that it's scary and I know what happened to you in the past, and I'm sorry. You said I should be with someone who appreciates be and what I am. I still want you. I still believe in us. I still believe we are meant to be together. I really hope this isn't permanent. I hope you find what you are looking for and you realize how amazing you still are. I am still in love in you. It just stinks that you're told me you've missed me, and how amazing I am both days post break up. It hurts to text you and it hurts MORE to not text you, but how am I supposed to give you space? I still look at the cards you've given me. And they make me smile. I'm not going to ask you, just post on here, but please come back to me.
  23. I'm trying the No Contact thing. Things I usually do, I don't. But she keeps contacting me. So I contact her back. It's only day 2. Making it harder, she texted me the day after she said she wants a break and space saying she missed me. I didnt text back. But she texted a sad face to me. It woke me up so I texted what's wrong out of habit. She said she missed me. Sigh...so I gave in and said I missed her too...sigh...so far, not so good.
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