Have been thinking a lot for the past 20 min re reading your post to figure out what to say. you are better than him. you are a million times better than him. he is the dirt beneath ur shoe when you walk. the lil bug that hits ur car window when ur driving. i mean what kind of sicko picks up a 13 year old. he cant get anyone his own age please thats below sad. im so sorry he beat you /hug. it sounds to me like ur ex is just a power crazied freak which would explain the 13 year old and beating you. if you ended it now he would win. all those times he beat you yelled at you would just make him the winner. dont let him win, you can find the strength keep on moving to prove to him that you are better than him, that you will rise to the top. if not to be better than him then do it for yourself. we all have a fire inside and depression does put it out a lot but you can find the strength to keep moving. i know you have a lot of scars from your ex and running into him might make them all come back but you can do it. think about the great time you will have seeing all ur past teachers they will love seeing you. if you run into your ex i think you should just take a deep breathe and just not say anything to him. if he starts saying things to you dont respond. that will make him so mad when he sees that you are better than him that you wont even talk to him he will just run back to his 13 year old and you will have just won again. if he touches you in anyway you yell and send his ass to jail. about ur 2 jobs thing thats the pits we have all been there. i was a pizza man a bag boy and the guy serving up starbucks while taking some colege classes. infact the girl i was in love with didnt even care who i was. i can remember every night i wanted to just end it and maybe it would all go away. but i stuck by and found my fire finished college and have a decent job that gets me by with out a bunch of work. once you get past the stress with your two jobs and find one great one that you love life will be downhill. and you willget that job everyone does. and about the guy you like that dosnt like you back you may want to just start trying to get over him i wasted 11 months obbessing over one girl who i thought was the one but it turns out she wasnt and never will be, i know you think that if he just gave you that one chance it would all be right but thats not true. "No one is worth crying over. The only one who is wont make you" all i can keep saying is that dont give up there are lots of people that would cry if you were gone, hell i know i would and i dont even know you. i know what your feeling and it took me a long time to get over it but dont take the easy way out its just cheating ur self. its late so if this post doesnt make sense im sorry i hope this post helps you find your strength *hug* *cheek kiss*