Springs

Me too. We can get there. There is no other way.

I just re-read some of our emails...why I am sitting here in tears again. So so sad. You said you loved me and would never leave me. How can this be. If I could turn back time I would have ended it then rather than go through all this torture. I love you so much I just don't understand. Why are we given something so amazing only to have it snatched away again. I want to be snuggled up with you again...like the bears..remember it hurts so much and I thought I was getting better. You are impossible to get over. I hate that this has happened.

Thank you north pickle...It's so hard! I know that nothing more I do can change anything...I was doing good and now I have that hopeless feeling again I am dreading the weekend as I will be alone...no friends here and nothing or noone to keep me occupied. I have 2 good weekends coming up after that but it's so hard to think clearly and think ahead. I know if I text him and he text back even small talk would make me temporarily feel better...but then it would make me feel worse afterwards. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I miss him I miss him so so so much

Ahhhh if anyone is reading this please stop me...I am caving...I've been thinking all day 'what harm can a little how are you text do'...I'm talking myself into it....I typed it then deleted....stop me stop me tell me why I shouldn't!!!! Day 10 NC...longest ever...it's killing

I'm getting my flight back tonight...I went home this weekend. That's the first time I've been away and you haven't known. I miss you. I wish I could get on the plane knowing you are there for me on the other side. The airport reminds me of the countless flights I took to see you for the weekends a year ago...god if I'd known it would end like this. I uprooted everything for you and here I am, alone. I don't know what my future holds, it's so scary. I envy you that everything else in your life is constant throughout this. You have only lost me, while I have lost everything. You probably don't think of me half as much as I think of you. You'll probably have someone new soon. It kills me.

Hey darlin..I hope you're ok. I'm much better. Feeling like part of the old me is still here, and resurfacing again. I have a few more good weekends lined up. I wish I could tell you all the stuff that's happened and tell you about my plans. Mostly, I've been ok. But every now and then I think about you doing that stupid dance you used to do before...you know, and that sad face that I loved, how you look when you just step out of the shower, how you used to nuzzle me and say we were like simba and nala. And how you pulled me into your nook in the middle of the night...and when I think of those things it hurts and the tears come again. It's silly really all such trivial things that can't build a lasting relationship, but made us so happy. I need to miss those times to get rid of the sadness deep inside. I know it's wrong of me, but I hope you miss me too. I know we can't ever work, but we were good together. You taught me so much and I thank you for that. This is making me stronger. I'll never stop loving you my little *** *****. I love you.

I want to hold you so much. It's ripping me apart. We were so happy, why don't you want to try again. I don't understand. I'll be anything you want me to be. I'd do anything for you. I wanted to be your wife and the mother of your children. I would build a happy home and be faithful to you and love you always. I was nothing but good to you. I never even thought about anyone else let alone do anything with anyone one else. I compromised EVERYTHING for you and you couldn't even spend the night with me. Remember what I gave up for you? Remember sailing away from my home, holding me on the boat, telling me you would always be there for me, not to worry, you love me so much, you will be all I need. Now you're gone. You've left me here with nothing and noone. How can you do this. How can you not care. I hate you for coming into my life, loving me so hard and then breaking my heart beyond repair. I ache for you so much darling, I love you so so much. Please come back to me and love me. I know you still do.

What do you mean when you say you'll love me forever. What do you mean when you say you're not sure of the way forwards. What do you mean when you say I am so special and you love me beyond words. Be honest, you don't want me anymore. Tell me to move on. Just tell me it's over. Why did you take me out and walk hand in hand with me on the beach, and hold my hand accross the table. Why did you cuddle me on the pier. Why do all that and then shut me down again. I am a person too. I don't deserve it. You are so cruel and so selfish. I loved you with every fibre of my body/ I changed who I was for you. I put myself through the hardest times just to be with you. What have you done for me besides shatter my heart into a million pieces. What did I ever do to deserve it. I had no doubts of how you felt for me, now I realise it must have been a lie. I am hurting so much. I am so ruined. I wish I never met you

Why are you doing this. Why can't you just be a man and tell me you think it's over and tell me to move on. It's not fair. You say you're so sorry for hurting me..you have no idea how much pain you have caused me. I just can't believe it...I love you so so much and you treat me like I'm nothing. I changed ME for you.

Day one no contact again.....lesson is well and truly learned I hope you hurt and want me back sooo much because you will never get me back. How can you be so cold and cruel and just cut me out like a part of your life that went bad, no longer of use anymore. Remember I used to sing that song 'when she loved me' to you and you would tell me not to sing it because it made you sad. I wonder if you were thinking of the pain you'd feel if you lost me, or were you thinking about your other exes. I don't care anymore. I was too good to you and you lost so much. Someday you will realise.

I wonder if I'm in your mind this minute. I know it's sick and twisted but I hope you miss me and regret how things happened. I know you are so stubborn and need to be right all the time, but I hope you actually realise what you had. I hope you are kicking yourself

I can't believe this. I can't believe you're not in my life anymore. I wish you wanted to make this work with me. Am I not worth it I was so good to you and loved you more than anything in my life. I wonder if you're missing me or if you feel relieved you no longer have to worry about me. Let me fend for myself. Leave me alone.

It's been 27 hours since I began no contact. True no contact, meaning that I really know and understand why I need to do this. There can be no more hoping anymore, no more wishing if things were different, no more opening doors to have them slammed in my face again. My heart has been dragged through enough dirt and it's time to wash it off and be strong. I know it's the only way. Nothing I do or say or hope for is going to change the fact that it was always going to end this way. I just wish I really believed these words I type

I wonder if you're missing me right now, right this second. Are you worried about me? Do you even care? After all the love we had for each other. How can you be so harsh and cruel. I miss you with every beat of my broken heart.

I miss you so so so so much. I long to be back in your arms. happy. all i have is a huge gaping hole in my heart....i wish you would just sit me down and say to me 'its over...get over me...move on'.....you're a coward.............. i love you darlin

awwww damn. sounds like you're doing really well though. delete his number!

i cant be with you..and i cant be without you..this is desperate agony. i wish id never met you so i didn't have to feel this pain.

why dont you feel this pain im feeling..why dont you care..im trying so hard, you know how much i love you..i know you love me..today i tried to be so strong, i went out walking this morning and met a friend for a drink in the afternoon..all i could think of was you. i saw a guy in the bar who looked like you..my heart broke into a million pieces because i realise that noone in this world is you, and that i will never be with anyone so amazing ever again. i miss you so badly

I love you so so much..I never ever wanted this to happen. If only you could push yourself to make the compromises for me I would be the happiest girl alive. I miss you so desperately. I will never get over you..im so sorry this happened for us. please know Im the one who wants to be with you more than you do me. thats your choice..why wont you make the step and change for me