niceguy_gb

I've posted here before about my little problems with being anxious about having sex for the first time with my girlfriend. I'm 27, and a virgin, she's 21 and not a virgin. I'd decided not to tell her before the fact, and we happened to be staying at a hotel together this weekend just gone so it was the ideal time. Everything started fine as i hoped it would, and as i performed oral sex on her, i got an erection. Then as it came time to get on with the proper act, i guess i had an attack of nerves, and the erection disappeared. And that was that. Couldn't get it back. So i then had to apologise and explain that it was my first time. God, how embarrassing... i guess that just made things worse. We slept together naked, and then tried again in the morning, but i just couldn't get aroused at all. I'm hoping that i'm going to get another chance to try, i really like this girl and she's really attractive - i've been incredibly aroused by just being around her and when i kiss her it's fantastic. I've never had a problem getting an erection, or stimulating myself to orgasm so i know that it's not a physical problem. Has anyone been through this before? What can i do to get rid of my nerves?

Thanks for all the responses! The girl involved is 20, she's staying at my house tonight, though i've told her that i don't want to have sex with her tonight. We are staying in a hotel for the weekend next week and i think it will be more special for our first time if we do it there. We are sharing the bed though tonight, so maybe i'll try to explain my situation to her then.

I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now, and we're on the verge of taking our relationship to the next level (i.e. sex). We've slept together before but not really done anything, but next week we're staying at a hotel for the weekend. My problem is that i'm 27 and practically a virgin. I've attempted to have sex a couple of times (one night stand type affairs with girls but that was a couple of years ago), but as i've got into it my erection has left me and we had to give up - i'm pretty sure its down to nerves! Should i tell this girl that i'm inexperienced? I know that she's had a couple of partners and she's more experienced than me. I really like her and i don't want to let her down. Can anyone give me any advice?

There's another aspect of our relationship that i neglected to mention in the first post. Though we work for the same company, we are at different sites, and we have an internal IM system. So this girl and I spend loads of time sending messages back and forth (and via mobile phones too). She seems to become a different person when she's "behind the screen" if you like. I suppose i do too, but the messages that we send to each other are becoming increasingly erotic. If i mention any of it when i'm with her she just tells me not to! But i stuggle to keep these two worlds separate! Thanks for the responses up to now!

Hey there... you say you love him with all your heart. How many boyfriends have you had and how does this relationship compare to ones you've had before? I ask this because i believe that the term "love" is thrown around far too loosly... i'm 27 and i've had a few relationships which have seemed like love at the time, but i look back on them now, and i realise that up to now, i've not found anyone who i truly love. If he has cheated on you, what's to stop him cheating on you again, with someone in this country? No reason to think that he'll wait till he goes to Poland again. For every guy who cheats on a girl, theres a dozen others out there who are looking for the right girl and would never cheat on them. Move on.

Hey everyone, i'm new here and just thought i'd post a message about my current situation and see if anyone can give me any advice! About 3 weeks ago i met a girl at work, i really fancied her and we started chatting etc and got on really well. We chatted every day for a week or so, then i decided to ask her out for a drink. We went out for a meal that weekend and were together for hours - it was great! The night ended with our first kiss which was fantastic too. We've now been out about 6 times (cinema, meals etc) and every time i thought we'd got on really well, always ending the night with an increasingly passionate kiss. We're constantly texting each other and chatting at work. She's told me that she isn't looking to get into a relationship right now, and that she has other male "friends" who she goes out with and kisses on a regular basis. She says that she just sees us as friends and wants to carry on like that. She's also concerned about our age difference (she's 20 and i'm 27) though i don't think that's an issue at all. I'm interested to hear what other peoples take is on the whole "friends" issue. To me, i wouldn't passionately kiss a friend! She takes it a little further, but was also keen to point out that she doesn't sleep with any of these friends (including me!). What should i do? Do i continue seeing her, maybe given time she'll come round to my point of view, or do i walk away and not let myself get too attached to someone who may go on to break my heart? Thanks!.....