Incognito

I am 15 years old. I have a 10 year old brother, but we don't live together. I live with my father, stepmother, and stepbrothers (but that will change soon- they're moving out because my father is an intolerable ***) in the country side, and my little brother lives with his father in the city. This post is for his sake, and for the sake of my mother. I would really appreciate the help of someone who has been through this before, and has overcome it. Here's the story- and I'm sorry if it's too long. It started last summer, when my mom finally snapped out of her depression. She had been unemployed for the longest time after she had been fired from her previous job for not showing up often enough. It was because she was trying to win custody of my brother. And then, without a job, without any income, this was impossible. She did nothing. She stayed with her boyfriend, and did nothing all day but wallow in her depression. So when she called me that summer day, so happy that she could barely talk, so happy that she didn't sound like herself, I couldn't believe it. She said she had snapped out of her depression. She was in a Help Centre. Getting thereapy, looking for a job. Oh, I was so happy I could have cried. But her depression wasn't the only thing that broke. She started hearing voices, seeing things. She called me one night saying I had to hide, there were people coming to get me and take me away, do horrible things to me. She gave me elaborate instructions to get away. My father would not have it, my stepmother just locked the windows. I stayed in their room that night. No one slept. Finally she was institutionalized. My uncles and my aunt realized that she was ill, and I was surprised at how they came together for her. They visited her everyday. I went one weekend, to visit her. She looked so different. But the doctors said she wasn't a threat to herself or to anyone, and her stay at the hospital became optional. She left right away. Her boyfriend (I'm so sad for him and I hate that he had to go through all this) would not have her at his house anymore. She went from place to place, staying with friends. I wonder how soon they realized that she was unwell. Whenever she called me she seemed almost normal. I would hope that she got better. But then I'd call my aunt, and I'd be informed that Mom had gone into hysterics because she thought my aunt's building would explode. That she had went there at midnight and smashed a vase at my aunt's doorstep and screamed and screamed. And now, my poor, poor little brother is Mom's target. I'm sure that if I lived in the city I would be too. But my brother, who had gone through so much already, who has been lied to by his own father, who had been continually cheated out of his own happiness, is being pratically harassed by my mother. His school work is suffering. She went to his school just the other week, pulled him out of class just so she could stand there and cry, making a scene. All his friends saw. No one said anything. And now Mom's brothers and sister have stopped trying to help her, because she refuses to be helped. It's just me and my brother who still care. I talked to him last night, I asked how he felt. "Well, I'm scared," he said. "Every week she does something weird. Last week she came here and threatened to beat up my dad. What will it be this week?!" And here is were I need your advice. What should we do? The hospital won't take her, and she won't go. I don't have enough money to pay for a psycologist, and even if I did, would she go? Her family is poor also, my uncles and aunt are just barely getting by. My brother's father's income is questionable, but he's a snake and he wouldn't pay to help my mom. They hurt eachother too much for anymore feelings of compassion. We don't know what to do. I live in Quebec, Canada. If you are giving serious advice, you'll have to take this into account. Hospitals are free, but not the greatest. They won't institutionalize her until she actually does something. I don't want her to have to hurt my brother or his father for her to get help. I need your advice, and as soon as possible. By just reading all this, you have my undying gratitude. Thank you so much.

Well, there's a tough question. How to find happiness within yourself? Well, start by learning to love yourself, I suppose. You seem to know yourself and your patterns very well, babycristy456. That's a good start. So, love your personality, and even love the parts of yourself you have repressed (you know which parts of yourself you've repressed by looking at the people you dislike the most- they display your "shadow self", or from what appears to you in your dreams). But really, I'm not sure. In your case, maybe you should realize that your feelings don't come from the other person, but from within yourself? Well, I don't know. And here's another point- You're asking how to find happiness to other people, to complete strangers, when you should really be looking within yourself. It's a very complicated business, this happiness emotion. And I don't think I've really added anything meaningful to this discussion with this post. Well, that's for you to decide, I guess. Heheh Toodles.

Hey. I agree with all that you've said, crookster_man. Your subject line asked a question, though, so I'd like to add something, too. We all have these basic 7 rights- The right to exist, the right to have, the right to feel (never let ANYONE tell you "you have no right to be angry!"), the right to act (or "the right to be free", pretty much the same thing), the right to love and be loved, the right to speak and hear truth, the right to see (not only the physical function but to have access to the truth), and the right to know. I suppose the goal of a human being is to reclaim our rights, for they are often taken away from us. People who, at a young age, were beaten, often doubt their right to exist. Perhaps those people's main goals in life is to reclaim that right? Just a theory... You seem like a very aware person. If you haven't already, you should read "Eastern Body, Western Mind". Excellent book. It may answer your question. Alright, I'm done. Before I go, though, I must say- on this site, often when people reply to posts they don't really offer anything but a piece of their life story to the advice-seeking person. Have you noticed this? winkie did it. Hm. Ok, I'll go now... 8) Bye.