griffith9

I'm a guy, 19 years old.. I understand that it can only be solved by me.. but I've been trying.. and it's been years.. and it's killing me. I guess it was just the way my personality always was..... but I'm trying to change it. I'm not a rude guy though.. I try not to cross people. I'm just too shy.. It's even more difficult when it comes to socializing with women I think,imagine and write down the things I want/need to say.. I even do that.. For some reason, I'm used to formal things..(doing formal presentation in front of class,job interviews..etc)and don't feel very nervous about'em.. It's almost like I can speak properly when it's very clear what I have to say.. but.. well.. not really. I suck at socializing. Often, words just won't come out of my mouth..(in the end I just tell myself to procrastinate) (for example)say, girls at my high school.. I never get to talk to them. I do not know what to say. it's like... I don't have anything to tell'em.. and they don't have anything to tell me.. There are times when I want/need to talk to strangers and maybe have a good conversation. I can ask questions..(-_-where is the bus 45?) but conversation..? ah~ I can't even approach them..("by approaching" I mean.. what do I tell him/her to break the ice and get him/her to say something to me?) The conversations I have with people usually are uneasy(both me and the person I'm talking to) and slow and (most of all)end abruptly.... I have been in environments where there are opportunities to socialize, but I only make acquaintances.. So I guess the real problem is just me. I already pretty much gave up on the idea of dating.. I do want to get a date.. though. I don't expect anything because I know where I'm at..... All I want is I would like to be able approach people in a down-to-earth manner and just have a short pleasant conversation..

You are coming to the realization that she does not love you.. You're still waiting for her calls because you LOVE her, but she doesn't love you back. Battle the cold reality. In my opinion, she could have a fresh new relationship with a different guy on the very day you broke up just because she never loved you. should you accept her again, you'll just be heart-broken and broke. I can see your ardent love, but if love is not "returned,"(it's no longer a relationship, remember that) It's only going to torture you. You'd better look for a new relationship, from solely my perspective point of view. P.S a foreign student(Korean) in Canada -English is my second language- and I've never had any relationships.

Just wanted to thank you much for considering my advice. Good Luck...!!

100% sure you're dead blinded by love, yet nobody can blame you..(love can blind anybody) having no parents(loving care), you desperately desired someone to love and to be loved and she became your angel. After reading your post, it's too obvious that she's been *using* you. There're many women who manipulate men to fill their lust and materialistic craving.(same with many guys, esp. lust) It's(your post) a very typical case(girls using guys to get jewels&money). Women can charm guys easily. I can't understand how she slept with over 40 guys and keeps doing it(U said she'd sex with her new 'toy' recently) even now. and brazens out, saying she loves you.(didn't say still, cuz I don't think she truly loved you ever) and... (in general)buying her tons presents doesn't (usually)show your love at all, it only spoils her. you really want to hold to the belief that she loves you, her words melt your heart. My guess is she decides to stay with you, so she can sponge off on you more and more and more. You need to erase the 'love' feeling for a moment and COLDLY think about what's really been going on. Don't you see her pattern? PS: want to say something to me, e-mail me.