BigMistake1607306452

well I left this site bookmarked (unintentionally) on her computer so she read it. But only saw that I keep contradicting myself even in my post. Maybe I do or don't, doesn't matter, that was 2-3 weeks ago. Anyway, to end the chapter. It's over. Over means over. What happens now is no more special than simply not knowing the future. Whether she will read this again or not, also doesn't matter. Life goes on, etc, etc. If anything, the positive stuff I have learned helps to know the future will be diff. for whomever I end up with. As to the past, you live and you learn. Some people just know it, others have to work at it, some just never gets it. I am certainly not the perfect one.

Reading all your replies almost brings tears to my eyes. By just replying you have given me support to be stronger. Thank you. Stilltthere >> I have also sent you a pm. Please consider this thought that, we should always try to improve ourselves. That being said, if your girl is doing something that is not right (as being jelous) then she may not trust you completely. When you honestly trust someone you can't have a doubt in your mind. My love could be locked with 50 naked guys in a room and I know that our love was strong enough to not cause any worries or jelousy in me. For my relationship, she is the one who was hurt because I was not ready to be commited. I lost her trust by not considering and taking responsibility for my actions. Whether we will be together again willl all depend on our love for each other. True love prevails, and I must go on and live life. That is, without having a hidden hope that we will be together. Please remember I do however have faith that we can be happy together again. This is an important point I want to be clear about; hope means to cherish a desire with anticipation. If you do this you cannot live your life. You will only be consumed by thoughts of her all the time. But to have faith means to have sincerity of intentions, complete trust, and a firm belief in something for which there is no proof. I am currently trying to lose that hope and have faith but it feel so much easier to just hold on to hope than to have faith.

by the way, I'm going through hell right now trying to live with my decision. If anyone can make me feel better or give me some support and strength, I'd really appreciate it. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks,

He SHOULD be there for you, no matter what if he truly loves you. This does not mean however that he does not love you. Let me explain. I was in his position. I never committed myself completely to my gf and thereforeeeeeee could not show her my love to her completely. For me it was a doubt that maybe there's someone better out there, but it really doesn't matter if you are trult committed. I do not know if this is his problem but once I realized this my life changed forever. Loving someone in part is a willingness to work problems out and involves a great committment along with respect, and taking responsibilty for your significant other. He is CLEARLY being unfair. Although he may truly love you, he may not realize it. And if he does not love you, then you are better off letting him go. Trust me, NO ONE NEEDS THIS CRAP. If you love him, and have willingness to work this problem out, my advice would be to sit down with him and communicate and let him know that it is not fair. If he need space, give it to him, if he comes back to you because he can treat you right and loves you, your relationship may last forever. Simply, my 2 cents.

I have been reading posts here for a while to get a better understanding of what to do and what is going on and now I want to share with you my story so that others may benefit from my experience. Three years ago, I met the woman of my dreams and I did not realize it. She was my first TRUE everything. Her being my first, I had a view that I wanted to explore, see what else is out there and thus never completely committed myself to her. I loved her company, and whenever I was away, I could see how much she meant to me and asked to marry me twice(while away) and both times she agreed and I took it back. I did this cycle of happy/sad relationship for almost 3 years. She loved me with all her heart, devotion, soul, everything she had and prayed each night that I'd return her love. But I never did. I hurt her so much that she has now lost her trust in me. And she doesn't love me the same way anymore. Plus, I drove her to find that love in the arms of another man. She never cheated or was unfaithful. She found the comfort in a friend and later between our on and off relationship, while we were no longer together, she fell in love with him. But she ended it with him just to come back to me and see if I had changed, but of course at that point I still had not. So then after I hurt her, and pushed her away, it was finally over. Once it was truly over, I questioned myself until finally I found my answer. I DO love her and I can't lose her and I made a committment to be hers forever. I loved her in the past as well but I pushed her away and didn't express it because I was insecure about my feelings. I wanted to 'play'. I never thought I would lose her and she never thought I would love her. But I do truly love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was never unfaithful, I simply couldn't commit. My mind wondered and I could not love her fully because of it. She is now torn because she loves me as well as the other guy but it's too great a sacrifice to pick one over the other. And this was tearing her apart. She wants to give me a last chance and she also feels he could be the one for her as well. If she gave me a chance now it would mean she would never know and regret and always think if she gave up the love of her life. This would not bring her happiness. And if she chose him over me then she may lose me forever. But this is a risk she is willing to take, however, only with my understanding and not loosing my friendship. She loves both of us and we both want to fight for her and that makes her go crazy as we both try to express our love for her and she is confused. This was at a point of being a health risk and too much for her to handle because she is the most giving person I have ever met and she does not want anyone to be mad at her and she wants everyone to be happy. Thus she explored her third option which is to not be with either one of us. Although this may bring all of us pain, it would be a just decision and she would not have to sacrifice both our friendships and lose us forever. But this option wouldn't change a thing as I know both of us would have an intent to change her mind and persuade her to fall more in love with one or the other, and could only bring more pain into her life. This is when I stepped in as I love her too much for her to sacrifice both of us as a potential for true happiness for the rest of her life. She cannot give me a last chance as I mentioned and be unhappy regreting she may have lost the love of her life by not ever giving him a chance. I wouldn't want that as she would then never be completely mine. If I fight for her now, she will sacrifice her own happiness before picking him over me, as she values what we have too much to lose me forever. I now had another choice to make; risk losing her forever by fighting and I know she could not choose as she is not willing to make either one of us unhappy, basically, making her life harder than it has to be, OR let her go and have faith that we were meant to be and if she comes back to me I will have her forever. I have made the ultimate sacrifice that I can imagine and have let her go as I know if ours is true love, it will prevail. I am and will always be her friend but lovers come and go. I am not giving up hope but fighting by letting her go and wishing her true happiness. If he can truly make her happier than I, then as much as my heart fills up with saddness, she will be happy and that will always bring a smile to my face. Moral of the story: IF YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST DOUBT, STOP NOW! TAKE YOUR TIME AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. IF YOU DO THEN, MAYBE YOU WON'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. -COMMUNICATE: IF YOU TELL HER WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART, SHE WILL GIVE YOU SPACE TO THINK THINGS THROUGH. IF IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE, THEN YOU WILL HAVE SAVED FURTHER PAIN FOR BOTH SIDES. -LASTLY, ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THINGS AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART SO THAT YOU MAY DO THE RIGHT THING.

Man I feel you so much. I did the same exact thing to her. I told her how others seemed interesting to me when I love her so much. She's been hurt real bad and can't trust me anymore because I didn't tell her how much I appreciated her. And now that I tell her, she tells me you are too late but at the same time doesn't know if she will never want to be with me again. I am in the same boat as you man as far as trying to figure out if she can ever give me a second chance. Good luck to both of us on getting a second chance. Please remember if you do get this second chance you don't take her for granted even the slightest and let her ALWAYS know how much you love her and what she means to you. In the end, it will work out for the best. That's the hope that keeps me going.