HeartGoesOn

Sending good thoughts your way, Vic.  Take care, and be kind to yourself during this difficult time.

I wouldn't allow any child to be alone with this woman.  Unfortunately this is the price you have to pay to be a voice for, along with protecting them from harm.

Be careful not to let your guard down, as these types of people don't change.

7 hours ago, Nazzaha said:

On Saturday, in the afternoon, we went to Ikea to buy him a bookstand. I was supposed to deliver it to his place (less than an hour away). I wanted to pay for fuel (not that cheap where I live), spend my time delivering sth he wants in his house...

OP...Posting in netspeak is not allowed.  Please review the forum rules/guidelines.

Can you please translate the meaning of "sth" and "AITA" to English please?

Why haven't you met each other yet?

5 hours ago, Harsh said:

Well ill just call him that do you want to meet me? If he says yes I'll be okay, if he says no I'll be okay too

No, you won't be ok.  This idea is AKA denial, and it will only set you back to square one.  Difficult as it is,  you're better off working on ways to move forward.

Kxns...Rather than open a new thread, please continue to post in your original thread.

Thread closed.

Under review...

28 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

Great understanding empowers sublime sisterhood.  

KEFIR

Keep every file in reference.

STOVE

3 hours ago, monsterpie said:

Please advice if secretly keeping those photos and videos he promised to get rid of is a huge deal breaker? 

Yes, and it goes way beyond a "huge deal breaker."  

Unfortunately the majority of the time they go on to find better ways to cover their tracks.  Keep in mind that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.

Rather than have this hanging over your head, you're better off moving on, as you deserve better.

Thread has run its course

There's no way around it, (imo).  This type of information is public and is easy to find.

Even though this is a serious offense, she deserves to know.  If anything,  she'll be upset that you hid this from her, along with other outcomes, etc. I'd be honest and let the chips fall where they may.  As the saying goes, "the truth will set you free."

On 1/7/2023 at 9:31 PM, toothless5 said:

I have been seeing this guy on and off for a couple of years now. Not currently exclusive. But we are close, and we are sleeping together.

Sleeping together is not equal to being exclusive, in fact as much as you'd like it to be, it's simply an arrangment where sleeping together is the goal. Rather than be labeled a cheater, he's a free agent, and not to sound harsh but he owes you nothing.

I'm not sure what you're getting out of this, unless it's a matter of having low self-esteem, or choosing to remain in denial, etc.   All in all, you have some thinking to do, and I wish you the best.

1 hour ago, allibaidoo4 said:

How can I prove to him that I didn’t mean those things?

You can't, he was looking for his ticket out by turning the tables on you.  At any rate he has the IQ of a turnip, along with his middle school behaviour.  You're wasting your time with him, you deserve better and it's time to send him packing.

When all is said and done, you'll realize he didn't abandon you, he did you a favor.

12 hours ago, CourtneyNicole said:

Am I being unreasonable to expect him to ask these girls to start paying rent if he wants to give our relationship another go? 

Yes it is.   I assume he owns the home, therefore he can chose who ever he wants to live there.

I think you're asking for trouble in regards to giving the relationship another go. On the other hand, what has asking these girls to start paying rent have to do with giving this relationship another go   Am I missing something here?

Overcoming infidelity may look good on paper, yet the odds of surviving the long term  are few and far between.

My thoughts are it's easy to forgive, but impossible to forget. In short,  I hope you find your way...

I'd say it's similar to the story.  You have some thinking to do.

13 minutes ago, Ice queen said:

I’ve battled a lot in life and this is the only guy who’s treated me right so I’m scared as to how I will react if we break up if I’m honest 

That's the point, he's not treating you right.  His controlling behaviour will continue to escalate, along with him brainwashing you.  

Look up 'The Stepford Wives, although it's fiction it appears to describe your situation to a tee.  

15 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Please Read Every Paragraph Seriously 📚

GRITS 🍚

Got ready in ten seconds.

DANCE

1 hour ago, Jaunty said:

 

Come over unless emphysema strikes.   

NAVEL 

Never a valid entry level.

GHOST

6 hours ago, DanJC said:

I know there are distinctions to be made about being a cheater (someone who always cheats) and someone who has cheated, I think I am in the middle somewhere here.

Although the majority of your excuses are classic, cheating is a choice one makes, and nothing more than that.

If you have the time to cheat, you have the time to think about it.  In short, nothing will change until you decide to own your own choices.

41 minutes ago, Superstickyone said:

What kind of a friend does this and why?

Because she can, and it works.  Keep in mind that we teach people how to treat us.

Give her a time limit and say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Was there a written agreement made before they moved in?  I'm not sure how that works, but it may be in your best interest to obtain legal advice.

At any rate, it rarely works out when two different families live under one roof.  Hopefully you can resolve this soon, and take it as a lesson learned.

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Just Eat Whatever Everyone Likes 🍕.

OPTED ☝️

One pill taken every day.

HAPPY

Rather than keep going around in circles, I'd cut the cord now and work on moving forward.  Unless you want to be demoted to FWBs, I'd walk away now rather than invest more time.