notfun2beme

I agree!!! My ex-girlfriend was an amazing person, but it wasn't until 6-12 months into the relationship I started seeing her faults. I would tell her about them. She started seeing my faults. Instead of being willing to work together, it was easier for her to just break it off and start over. Her solution was always to break up. Mine was always to work together to solve problems. I predict that she'll continue this pattern of being with someone short-term, finding faults, and moving on. Not the best way to go through life, but hey, it isn't my decision.

I met my ex girlfriend when I was a sophomore (and she a freshman) in high school. Liked her from the moment I first saw her (I still remember). We were good friends in high school, and I tried to date her. She gave me the line about not wanting to ruin our friendship, etc. I took it as rejection. Fast forward 3-4 years, we were both finishing college, and she contacted me out of the blue. We started spending time together, and I was very confused. I was rejected years earlier, but it sure as heck seemed like she was interested in me. I got a mutual friend involved, and came to realize that she did like me, and just felt immature in high school and didn't want to screw something with long-term potential up. Well... we dated for almost 2.5 years, and it did get screwed up. She is still immature, and wants to be single and have fun. That's OK, but it really broke my heart. She was a gem beyond belief. I guess I should just know I was given a gift, and I won't look back wondering "What if?"

A few days after my ex-gf broke up with me, I had a dream that I woke up in her room and looked around and it was almost empty. All of the pictures of us were gone. That hurt.

Update again: It is very funny how the world works. I've been trying my hardest to land a particular full-time job over the last year (literally). I've had many interviews that didn't pan out, I've applied to countless positions, etc. However, while I was with my ex-gf, I always felt hesitant to accept a job even if I got an offer. Why? Because I didn't feel secure enough in the relationship to do so. I was working from home, able to spend time with her and be with her all of the time. It was great. Interestingly enough, now that we've gone our separate ways, I was offered a GREAT job that was exactly what I've been wanting. It'll be a nice change, I'll get to meet new people, and I'll have someone soon enough that deserves what I have to offer. So... it's not all bad.

Yea, I'm coming to realize that. However, she's always had issues with sex. She told me she never enjoyed sex, she'd ask her girlfriends about it and they'd tell her she just hadn't found the right person yet, but she insisted that she didn't like it. And she was a germaphobe, didn't like giving oral sex, didn't like doing anything anywhere other than a bed, etc. On top of that, she's questioned her sexuality for quite a long time, and has fantasies about girls (not necessarily about guys). Now that this new guy is around, I can tell she's up for all kinds of stuff. I just know. How can a person cast away all of those qualities? What really irritates me is - I tried my best to make her feel sexy. I would compliment her all of the time. I would make advances, but since she had no drive, she resisted. Once you start going down that path, I guess it's over. Anyone else go through this, or have comments? This is really helping me!

A little update. After I went to the wedding with friends (didn't take her), she IMed me to ask how the wedding was, and I asked about her weekend. After talking for a while, here's what I learned. She said this new guy makes her feel sexy. She didn't have a sex drive while we were together. She said she felt like we were friends that could be successful together, but that she wants to be young and have fun while she's young. In the beginning of our relationship, she did have a sex drive. For about the first year. After that, it started going away, and we tried to work on it, but it just became more and more of an issue. I know deep in my heart that she will eventually have the same problem with this new guy, but for now, she has her sex drive back. Any other thoughts?

Well, yesterday I told her I couldn't be in her life anymore. I know it'll hurt, but I did what I had to do. Thanks for the advice, everyone!

I know she's been talking to him because she's online until 3-4am. Right when we were first going through the breakup, I'd be at her house and she'd be ignoring me because she was talking to him online. I know they go to motorcycle gatherings together (she tells me) and she doesn't get home until 2am. And I know she feels sexy around him (she told me)... and that it's only a matter of a short amount of time before things get sexual. I can't stick around for that.

A little update. My now ex-girlfriend has been talking to this guy regularly until 3-4am. She used to go to sleep at 11-12. I know within a week they'll "hook up." We're supposed to go to this mutual friend's wedding this weekend. I asked her if she had dinner plans tonight and she said "if you're asking me to go to dinner, I don't think it's a good idea." And I asked her if she's still going to the wedding and she said "yes, but i dont have to if you dont want me to" Why would she be willing to go to the wedding, but not see me for dinner? She wanted to be friends, but not ever wanting to see me? I know NC is the best option at this point. Any thoughts?

This is all so confusing to me. I am still trying to decide what to do. I know if I went NC, it would hurt a ton right away, but I think healing would be easier down the road. And it would give her a chance to really miss me. If I stick around, we'll see each other, she'll get enough of me to tide her over, and there will be no chance of making it again in the future. We're going to a mutual friend's wedding in a week, and I need to decide if I completely break it off after that or not. I love all of the comments - please keep them coming!

We are both fairly young - 24. I think she does want to experience new things. She's a very "grass is greener" kind of person. One part of me wants her to stick around because I enjoy her company, but the other part of me wants to let go and work on my own life and hope she remembers me if things don't work out as she is expecting them to. I know everyone here recommends NC, but it's SO hard. Any other thoughts?

So here's my story. I've known my now ex-girlfriend for half of my life. I first met her over 10 years ago. I always liked her and attempted to pursue her back then, but she wasn't interested. Fast forward about 6-7 years, we both were finishing college, and she contacted me. We started getting together more and more, and found out that we both had feelings for each other. I had never felt this strongly about anyone in my life. We were together almost 2.5 years. For the first year or so, everything was great - total bliss. We talked about getting married on a regular basis, we started looking at houses together, etc. I really felt a deep, honest connection with her. A lot more details, but basically she told me a few days ago that she feels her relationship with me is more like a friendship than a romantic relationship. We've actually had some "bedroom issues" for a while, and she is unsure of her sexuality. She told me she just wants to be single. There is no guy in the picture (we've come close to this in the past when there were). She told me she thinks our relationship is 85% of what she wants, but since it isn't 100%, she isn't happy. Where we stand now, she wants to remain friends. She wants to be single and have the ability to go on dates and learn new things from new people. She "loves me," but in a caring sort of way, not in a romantic way. I still talk to her on a daily basis (and I'll be seeing her tomorrow morning) but it just isn't the same. I know everyone will probably recommend NC. Any other thoughts? Any advice? I feel eaten up inside. My life went from a dream, thinking I had it all set, so this. Now I'm single again and feeling miserable. Thanks in advance!