chemica

Why do women always pursue jerks like these? I'm sorry, but guys like the one you have described just offend me. This guy will move on the second a better arrangement with less attachment is found. Unless, you are with this guy for purely casual sex, I am stunned as to why you have not broken it off with him.

how do i cope with loneliness? by finding things that make me happy even when i'm with someone or not.

Unfortunately for me that is video games.

And unfortunately i have realized that these are a huge waste of time.

And unfortunately since I have promised to never play them again I am really depressed.

Hi awals. I grew up in kind of a dysfunctional family too. My mom would take every problem she ever had out on us and tell us she wishes she never had us. My best friend, my sister, commited suicide and it has been even tougher since then. I have only now started to realize how much my messed up family has really effected, and in many ways caused my social problems. I plan to start over in a completely new environment the day after I take my last final in college.

I dont really look at it as much of running away from an old life as it is finally starting one. I wish you the best...

I can tell most of the time. The girls who have boyfriends are nice to me (in a platonic way). The single girls don't give me a second glance and will not talk to me. Go figure.

Wow, this is so perversely true.

I was on both prozac and wellbutrin, but I recently quit wellbutrin. Not long after a friend of the family died from a seizure two weeks after starting wellbutrin. The autopsy was not able to find any other cause of death. Apparently, these seizures are fairly common problem with wellbutrin (estimated 1:1000 which is quite high).

I would recommend a different medication tbh. I noticed no positive effects from wellbutrin and switched. Most medications will give you problems like you stated early on, but they should wear off.

If you had to ask him for you to find this out, there is probably a lot more that hasn't been revealed that you may not really want to know about. I would say dump.

It's a big thing to generalize a whole nation, until you've met every single girl in Finland and found them all to be lacking, remain open minded.

 

After all, there must be hundreds and thousands out there..and you only need one. So if you go out a fair bit, your chances are actually quite good.

I agree with Superstar, there is at least someone well suited for you. You just need to look hard enough.

ALSO, the kind of social trend in relationships is much more widespread than Finland. Most relationships end quickly and casual sex is a social norm in America. Not everyone is like this though, even in societies that endorse it.

If there is only happiness, then there is no happiness, why? because there would be nothing to compare it to. The concept of an eternal heaven to me seems like a never-ending hell. In any given population there will be a standard deviation curve, if you raised the IQ a bit for everyone, due to relativity, nothing much would change. If you were dictator, perhaps I would kill myself.

Exactly RedQueen! As you said Eto, it is all relative. Happiness is relative to sadness. People will always look for something to compare themselves to. All you will have is smarter, more attractive people, more genetically 'perfect' individuals who still hate each other and are unhappy.

And I would disagree with your analysis of utopia Eto. By your logic, America is a Utopia as even though you may think it is evil, there is at least one person who has achieved an ideal position due to its social/economic structure. In order for there to be utopia it must be ideal for everyone in the system. thereforeeee I think Utopia is quite impossible.

Yeah I might try some of that. It's just that I'm only going to be here for another month and then I'm moving back to Charlotte, NC for my last year in school. So it would be kind of pointless to make friends right now.

Kinda feel the same way Caldus. Also going into my last year of college and didn't make any real close friends during the first 3. Hoping to put myself in a position so that I will be better at making friends when I am working. Gym, Church, and my Krav Maga training sessions are where I am usually able to meet people.

So if I understand correctly, you think that if a girl has a certain past, a guy has a past too (the guy has actually done more than the girl) and the girl is thus considered "easy" whereas the guy is just a normal guy? Nice.

Totally agree with this. Guys who foster this kind of double standard give all guys a bad name. This kind of crap really irritates me because I can assure you not all guys are like this. What always amazes me is that girls seem to chase after guys who are like this and ignore the good ones, and then wonder why things didn't work out. Ugghh ](*,)

Orlander, someone as nice as you certainly doesn't need myspace to get back into dating. People often lie about their age on myspace to lock/unlock certain security features, and you don't want to get mixed up in that world.

As I and everyone else has said previously, you will do fine...

Also, I forgot to mention that we had sex the second night of knowing each other. I realize that this is 50% my fault, but this also bothers me. But, I want everyone reading this to realize that I am absolutely, 100% not afraid of her cheating on me, I know she won't do that.

Then what exactly is your question? You are not affraid of her cheating on you and yet you have more of a past than she does. If you are still struggling with this, I honestly think you need therapy before entering a serious relationship.

You seem to hold your potential gf's actions to a high standards while you have absolutely none for yourself (if you were willing to sleep with her on the second night).

Oh, and sleeping with her on the second night she be much more of a red flag than her past. I think it shows this kind of behavior is not completely in her past.

If it took an act of cowardice to finish things, you'd have a lot more broken down hope-robbed individuals suddenly disappearing than you do.

Sadly...you might actually be right about this.

I'm a single chick and been reading problems from this site and i've been thinking is there any point in a relationship?

Heh, I would not use this forum as a benchmark for what a healthy relationship is. The relationship advice on this site is often like a blind man trying to describe a sunset to another blind man. Don't get me wrong, I have seen some bright people with good advice on this forum, but definitely the minority. Generally, people in successful relationships don't waste an hour a day on internet forums listening to other's problems.

The truth is that this is one question others can't answer for you, or even provide very good insight. The only advice I can give you is to base your decision on whether to pursue relationships on your future goals and not your past experiences. Always learn by the mistakes of the past, but don't let them ruin your life.

You have to remember that females get hit on a lot online, and I think some of them forget that those are real guys, not just profiles.

Females get hit on a lot period. The fact that they become jaded by this causes them to view them all as the same and ignore the nice guys.

Orlander, I seriously wouldn't worry...you seem like a really nice guy. Plus, many guys are not in your kind of shape in their thirties and have a reason to worry. Just don't give up.

What's the evolutionary advantage of suicide?(Human suicide that is. Not penguin suicide) As a species, how do we benefit from people committing suicide? Could it just be natural selection? Could those of us that choose to end our own lives just be strengthening the gene pool by not procreating and giving birth to others with mental deficiencies like our own?

Perhaps suicide is a mechanism to prevent over-population, evolutionarily speaking.

I actually wrote a large thread on suicide and natural selection in a different forum about a ear ago. It seems insane that another person was thinking the same thing. Wrote it not long after my little sister commited suicide and I started getting depressed like her.

I do think RedQueen is right though, that people who are intelligent enough to think like this are probably better off procreating than many other people. It is easier for someone like you Eto to find happiness than for someone who is happy but not bright to find intelligence.

I'd rather die than be alone for the next several years, but when you get into a negative spiral, thinking nothing will ever get any better, it never does.

I feel exactly the same way. The difference is that I have never been in a relationship and it is starting to get too late. That really fuels that negative spiral and eats away at your self esteem.

The Bible does not support relationships because it forbids pre-marital sex, and people should go straight to marriage immediately to avoid the temptation of having sex outside of wedlock.

True, but in modern day relationships lead to marriage. I don't recall having attended an arranged marriage lately.

I think most women usually equate 'relationships' with 'acceptable fornication or sex', the Bible, however, forbids pre-marital sex outright.

I think most people do, not just women.

Respect him and find a comprimise. Sometimes a guy really IS thinking of something other than sex. That's good. You don't want a sex addict!

 

BTW; I don't think you are addicted to sex. You are 18 and horny. Also, I think you are equating sex with love and acceptance a little bit.

I agree, I don't think you are a sex addict. Part of the problem might be that the more a women has sex, the higher her sex drive. The more a guy has sex, the lower it goes (both generalizations but still). The fact that you were having sex everyday before might have led to this.

Talk to him about it and try to find a compromise. I think it will return in time.

College isn't about learning, so I would agree don't go just for this. The only reason I am going is to become an engineer. You really don't learn about engineering until after you get a job.

I think college has hindered my social development more than it has helped it, though in my final year things are starting to get better. I think the party environment of college is kinda immature and dumb, and paying thousands a year just to party is even dumber.

If college is not blocking you from meeting the career or financial goals you have, I would say don't go full time. There are so many other great places to learn: books, link removed, internet, travelling, your own community.

However, going part time may be a good option if learning is what you are really interested in. Take classes that interest you and keep your full time job.

I just want to focus on your jealousy, if you are going to engage in this type of lifestyle then both parties have to be free from jealousy otherwise the sexual escapade is going to cause problems down the line. Both participants have to want the other person to be pleased. I dont think you and your bf are at this point in your relationship where it could handle something like this.

I don't even think jealousy is the main problem. If two people actually would go through with this, I would question if it is each other they want to marry.

You haven't even gotten married yet and you already are so jaded with having sex together that you want to introduce another person. Don't get me wrong, many guys fantasize about a threesome and I don't see anything wrong with this. Acting this out, especially in an allegedly serious relationship is a bad idea.

Reevaluate why he is asking this and whether marriage is even the right idea. Either he is using this as an excuse to be with another guy, or this is leading up to a threesome with another women.

Yea, it was slightly depressing watching my 22 year old step sister get married.

I have officially reached the 'oh crap' age of being single.

u can ask everyone 4 help but at the end of the day it can only come from u what do u want to do

The above statement is true.

I once read a stat that said every 30 minutes, an American teenager is giving birth to her third child.

If a wife is refusing or limiting to have sex with her husband, she should know he is going to look for it somewhere else. This is why I dont feel guilty, if it wasnt me it would have been someone else.

Wow, you got yourself into one crappy situation and this is how you seem to view it.

How can you possibly believe that someone who is basically turning his back on his wife and kids is going to show any more commitment to you.

Everyone here is right...this guy is complete sleeze. The insults aimed at this guy in this thread don't even begin to describe just how bad a person he is.

But this entire thread has been about him. Hon, this guy is not going to take responsibilty for what he did. It is unfair, but it is true. If you bring this out in the open, the worst that might happen is his wife divorces him. I can't see any court finding him financially liable as I don't think there is any way that he can be forced to take a test to see if he is the parent. The more time you spend obsessing over how this guy burned you, the more your judgement will be clouded on what the right course of action is.

You are very honorable for walking out of that clinic. I hope it is in your heart to raise this child alone, though I wish you the best in whatever choice you make.

I really have no idea what qualifies as a 'sex addict'.

In any event, this guy was unforgiveable for cheating on you even once...You deserve MUCH better.

Future Goals Separate from Him:

 

Graduate from college

Get a good job, hopefully in book publishing

Stay veggie/vegan for life

Someday write a novel*

Or simply write something and get it published

Join a vegan group

Get an apartment with or without a SO

Have a child

Cool, your vegan too. I have been vegetarian for almost 10 years now without any breaks. Went vegan for two years and am trying to go back currently. I think it is good to have goals that require self discipline. I really do think it molds you into a better person, regardless of what others might say.

I recently made a list like this for myself and am refining it currently.